Adding insult to injury

Wow your life fucking sucks, I once told my cousin she was fat so she got all of my other cousins to gang up on me and hold me down while she dropped a bible on my face and broke my nose.

She didn't even get in trouble I almost rage quit for a second.

hahaha for some reason im imagining her as samuel l jackson yelling "i will strike down upon the with great vengeance and furious anger!"

one time skiing. i ate shit.. then some one ran into me while i was on the ground

pretty sure this has happened to me before also

Hahaha thats hilarious!
One time I was in a canyon and I was on a super awkward rappel that was tight but had an overhang, so it was really awkward to approach. Now I doubt most of you have ever seen a piranha rappel device, but this is what it looks like 


now as I mentioned earlier, this rappel was both tight and awkward, so as I was working my way down to slowly put all my weight on the rope, the piranha got at about the same level as my face. I hadn't noticed, so as I got to the tight part, that there pointy part on the piranha began digging into my bone just to the side of my eye, you know the one. So this pointy metal object is digging in to my bone, but I have no choice but to proceed like this since I'm in the middle of the overhang section. Once I get to a spot where my feet could touch the wall, I put my weight on my feet and resolved the issue. However, after putting my weight on my feet, one had gotten lodged in a crack and was rather stuck. Not to the point of having to 127 Hours it, but pretty stuck. I fought to get it out and apparently my shoe was loose, so about the time I finally popped my foot out of this crack, my shoe falls off, and continues down the rappel in to the water at the bottom. You'd have to see, smell, and swim in canyon water to TRULY appreciate the disgustingness, but here's a picture so you have some idea of what my shoe is now in
 
(Not me in the picture by the way)

So I continue down the rappel with one shoe and a bruised face and land in the water, only to find that not only is it freaking nasty an freezing cold, but also to deep to stand. So I realize what I have to do: go shoe diving. I submerge myself completely and begin feeling around with my foot to see if I can find the shoe. I locate it after several attempts and dive down to get it. I finally get the damned shoe and get out of that water asap.

One time i was with some friends, we were skitching behind out friends car on a nice flat road, everyone was on a longboard except for me(Whole thing was filmed except the part where i fall) but we hit about 35 miles and im swerving like a motherfucker, i was trying to figure out how to get out of this situation, but eventually the board just slipped out from under me and i fell, but my sleeve got got on the bumped and got dragged for a couple seconds until i got unhooked and jsut slid across the street. No broken bones but i tore so much skin off I had trouble moving for a while. Shit makes me cringe thinking about it.

in 9th grade i crashed on my bike (my brand new santa cruz blur xc that i'd just gotten for my birthday and it was the first time i'd ridden it) and i went over the bars since the hill was too steep to ride on and i landed on a sharp rock and tore open my upper shin down to the bone. someone came to help me and moved my bike to the side of the trail while i had to get hauled out of the woods to the hospital since i was losing a considerable amount of blood and my muscle tissue was hanging out and there were twigs and dirt stuck in the cut. i measured the scar later and the cut was 4 inches wide by 2 inches long by like a half inch deep.

anyway by the time i left the woods there were like 20 people there, all of whom i knew very well, and not a single one of them did anything about my bike eventhough that's what i kept asking everyone, so it got stolen right off the side of the trail after everyone had left.

later on i actually tracked down the bike since some guy had brought it into a local shop trying to sell it but we knew the owner and he returned it to me, so i got lucky with that one

i have many bad injuries but the most "insulting" was when i broke my ankle last january 17 doing a front flip off of a balance beam while waiting for my girlfriend to get done with gymnastics. The whole gymnastics team saw and heard my right ankle fucking snap and me scream "FUCK"! at the top of my lungs, i tried to rebound from that very uncool move and walk it off but i couldnt fucking stand so i ended up hopping out of the gym with everyone still watching. Later on my girlfriend had forgotten it because i downplayed it and made sure i sat somewhere at her party where i didnt need to move very much, needless to say she wanted to have her birthday sex and by this point my ankle was the size of my thigh and very very painful. So i stand up and try to make it to her bedroom all cool and stuff, you know, i couldnt even fucking move so instead f getting to bang my girlfriend i had to go to the damn hospital and get xrays and such. i was not happy

Hahaha keep these coming, I'm starting to feel better about myself