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SOLUTION TO A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

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Alehandro
Posts: 818 - Karma: 12
Wear a full suit of chain mail, or that super lightweight shark mail. If a great white can't bite through it, theres no fucking way a pussy ass zombie can. Also, fuck guns, use swords. Swords don't run out of ammo, and they can easily lop off zombie heads. If a mob comes at you, whirlwind D2 barb style.

boom

(this thread was inspired by the walking dead, season 2)
Oct 31 2011 1:50PM
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BlakeG
Posts: 1450 - Karma: 1,030
Click for larger image

[IMG]geekologie.com/2011/04/27/zombie-house-9.jpg[/IMG]

[IMG]geekologie.com/2011/04/27/zombie-house-10.jpg[/IMG]

ZOMBIE PROOF HOUSE
it transforms from a nice modern design house into a fucking cube

Oct 31 2011 6:21PM
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theline
Posts: 1507 - Karma: 92
psh swords. get a gravity gun and go Ravenholm on their asses.
Oct 31 2011 6:23PM
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the.cheat
Posts: 2859 - Karma: 171
i want to get away from people, bringing what i need to get going, and hopefully hunt. im thinking less end of the world more waiting till they die off or the government gets them or something
Oct 31 2011 6:26PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51688 - Karma: 162,825
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Oct 31 2011 6:27PM
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neutralzombie
Posts: 8629 - Karma: 606
don't have time to read comments, but if you read the zombie survival guide you'd know chain mail is a stupid idea.
Oct 31 2011 6:33PM
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jibmeisterflex
Posts: 719 - Karma: 63
Do u realize how much gas those need and how hard it would be to find you wouldnt be the only person getting gas for their car so what happens when you can find anymore? Btw those trucks are sick
Oct 31 2011 6:35PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,143

There are a lot of gas stations out there, and in a real zombie apocalypse we're talking, what, 90% of the population dead? And many of the remaning 10% not driving cars around, and those that are are probably running on gasoline? Getting diesel is not going to be an issue.

And yeah long term I may own something like one of those as a ski RV (overhauled for sleeping quarters) but it's probably 5+ years out.

Oct 31 2011 6:51PM
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jibmeisterflex
Posts: 719 - Karma: 63
We can agree to disagree there are many different strategies I personally would rather have a small rugged a relatively fuel efficient vehicle
Oct 31 2011 6:59PM
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jibmeisterflex
Posts: 719 - Karma: 63
Dont talk shot dude you thought chain mail would stop a bullet, tard
Oct 31 2011 7:10PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,143
This thing is okay but has some flaws. For one thing that rolling garage door isn't cutting it. Need 8 inch thick steel for that. Also, needs an additional underground exit, preferably with some sort of vehicle, which comes out at least 500m away from the house for escape in case of emergency. The surrounding wall should be higher and should be angled out at the top to make it harder to climb.
Oct 31 2011 7:26PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,143
Meh, the guide is wrong about a lot of shit. For some reason he thought chain mail would make a lot of noise but is easier to move in than plate. Neither of those things is true.
Oct 31 2011 7:30PM
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kungfusteeze
Posts: 700 - Karma: 47
I say we build a shelter up on Timberline, zombies aren't gonna hike up that shit en masse. The few zombies that make it up we can pick off easily. Then we can ski the windells park for recreation... Jk that would be a horrible survival plan haha.
Oct 31 2011 7:30PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
this would work i think

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Oct 31 2011 7:34PM
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dunkaroos
Posts: 2574 - Karma: 633
if they do get close, we could obvs just 450 out of a rail and cut off their heads. problem solved.
Oct 31 2011 7:39PM
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Crispy.
Posts: 6112 - Karma: 7,692
Damn J.D. massive +k haha.

Would it work if I took like 3 army hummers with the turrets mounted on them and just camped in a GIANT shed made of metal on three sides and the fourth covered except for a little door and the top and then just raped the zombies coming in? I'm talking 200ft in front of us is where the zombies are coming in through the door so I can aim in one spot. Then when I ran out of ammo have one of my buddies start shooting while i reload and so forth. For water dig a well behind the hummers and get water from there. I also need to figure out the food part.

I'm having deja vu right now.
Oct 31 2011 7:48PM
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steezeknees
Posts: 819 - Karma: 9
Man thats not realistic,first theres no way that you could get hummers with .50s or Marks on top of them until its way to late for you and secondly how would you man three different guns at once? scratch second part im still alittle grogy from my nap. But still you gotta think how you would realisticly handle this shit if all the sudden tomorrow was the beginning.
Oct 31 2011 7:54PM
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McFellon
Posts: 1841 - Karma: 2,005
My idea: Find a small, uninhabited island 1/2 to a couple miles off shore. The Broken Islands in British Columbia are a good example: Click for larger image
I'd grow potatoes because they can live in extremely poor, rocky soil and it'd only take an acre or two to feed me for an entire year. There's a reason that they are the staple crop in areas like the Andes where the weather is bad and the soil lacks nutrients. In addition, there are salmon runs on many of the larger islands, and many other species of fish can be caught throughout the year.
For shelter, I'd make a small, simple log cabin from the trees found on the island, but leave most of it forested, with the exception of the potato fields.
Fuel would only need to be firewood for cooking and heat, which could come from driftwood, and from trees on my island and maybe from surrounding ones.
Transportation would need to be a boat, which I would also use for fishing. I could learn how to sail, and be completely self-sufficient.

Zombies can't travel through water, correct? It seems that my biggest worry would be getting proper nutrients to prevent diseases such as scurvy. I guess I could stock up on vitamin pills ahead of time.
JD, would this work?
Oct 31 2011 7:56PM
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steezeknees
Posts: 819 - Karma: 9
It has already been presented that zombies can travel through water just not exceptionally well,if you are in an area with a low zombie population AND surrounded by water you may be supprised by roving zombies from time to time and one could catch you off gaurd but you would probably be safe from them. The real question when talking about this scenario is that would you really consider a life by yourself with no outside contact a life worth living? i know that i would struggle with that personally.
Oct 31 2011 8:01PM
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McFellon
Posts: 1841 - Karma: 2,005
My strategy, if it works, gives me a 100% chance of living indefinitely. I'd have a lot of time to consider the philosophy of that lifestyle, but I would be putting my self in a secure situation.
In other words, by doing this I give myself an infinite amount of options, knowing that if I continue to do what I am doing I will be safe, and then I can weigh the risks versus gains of changing that lifestyle.
Oct 31 2011 8:08PM
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REDFRO420
Posts: 516 - Karma: 60
or but backwards facing treadmills around your house
Oct 31 2011 8:08PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,143

Growing potatoes: good, but you need to eat more than just potatoes. You'd want to grow a variety of vegetables and fruits. Islands in BC are fine for running a garden and orchard. Just kill and eat any deer.

Small log cabin: not ideal. Also, keeping most of the island forested is pointless. Are you hoping to hide? Zack doesn't care about trees. You want visibility. Now, if you were to create a treetop cabin 30 feet off the ground, I'd be with you.

Firewood for cooking and heat: also not ideal. You want a generator and insulation. For one thing, the smoke from the fires is a dead giveaway for people in boats who might be looking for someone to raid, since the people who will inevitably try to flee by ocean will quickly run low on supplies.

Zombies can travel through water. They just can't swim. So one of the issues with an island is you may all of a sudden have 1000 zombies walking up onto the beach. It certainly helps, though - the further out your island is, the less likely it is zack will make it out there. Also, if you're seriously in the middle of the pacific, the pressure at depth will effectively destroy any zombies that head out there. That won't work for coastal islands but it is a reasonable plan, if you have a means of getting to such a place.

Oct 31 2011 8:10PM
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steezeknees
Posts: 819 - Karma: 9

Zombies can survive without breathing all of the sudden? Thats a bit of a leap

Oct 31 2011 8:13PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,143
They're already dead, why would they need to breathe? Essentially it's an animated corpse. The organs don't need to function, which is the entire point of oxygen.
Oct 31 2011 8:14PM
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steezeknees
Posts: 819 - Karma: 9
well then shouldnt they be able to survive withpout a head then?
Oct 31 2011 8:15PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,143

And it's not a leap at all man. You need to read World War Z. It's absolutely essential.

Oct 31 2011 8:16PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,143
Because the virus lives in the brain, apparently.
Oct 31 2011 8:18PM
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MatRich
Posts: 4789 - Karma: 1,813
fuck I was too caught up with moving away and working, getting by, I forgot to adapt my zombie survival plan to my new surroundings. Its going to be though for me since I live right next to a major city: montreal. I would have only one choice which is to flee south towards the less populated regions, but this is where everyone will be headed. Trafic would be way too heavy to ever make it, plus most of the people would have died in traffic and become zombies.

I think I would have to wait it out a bit and let the early birds die in trafic. I would quickly run out of food since my fridge is rarely stacked. This means I would have maximum two weeks being able to wait.(if I raid the people in my block who I assume are dead or gone)

From there Im not quite sure, I would either need to head south Like I wanted but theres still a risk that the walking dead are still on the highways. I would obviously need to drive on the opposite lane to avoid dead cars on the highway but theres still a chance of zombs.

I think Im going to need to find something close by to stay put for a while. when it calms down and there isnt a lot of food left for the zombies I can head south and find shelter somewhere far from civilisation
Oct 31 2011 8:22PM
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ORDEAL
Posts: 6386 - Karma: 75
Not apparently, clearly. It controls the whole body, which means it is in the brain
Oct 31 2011 8:25PM
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DirtYStylE
Posts: 3652 - Karma: 8,888
This is what I am doing. Hope to see you there :p



First, check in at the government camp

Second, climb the mountain and make a few zombie proof shelters

Third, (optional) If I have enough weapons and ammo I would make as much noise as possible to draw out any zombies that might be inhabiting the area, such as the ski lodge.

Forth, set up a perimeter low on the mountain that will trigger a silent alarm to let me know if anything is entering or leaving, hopefully deer :)


Living during the summer would be tough. The mountain would provide little shelter towards the end of the season with all the snow melted. The possibility of a zombie wondering into the region could happen. During the warmer seasons I would have to be out of my camp in search of food to stock up for the coming winter. During the winter there is no chance that a zombie would get anywhere close to where I would be living. The closest highly populated area is more than a few hours walking distance. Zombies would not be wearing any clothing to protect from the cold, so climbing the mountain trying to get to me would tire them out and make easy targets.



The best place to go would either of the arctics, alaska or northern canada might do... Traveling there would be tough, but as soon as winter rolls around every zombie would die from the cold.
Oct 31 2011 8:25PM
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Trojan~Man
Posts: 1996 - Karma: 1,357
this and also they live there because the brain stem is the part of the body able to give out most of the orders to the corpse to move,bite, fuckshit up etc...

also we should start listing good zombie type movies, im running low and i love this shit!!!

#1- THE WALKING DEAD! so good.
#2- resident evil
#3-dawn of the dead- i enjoyed it lol

top three off the top of my head.
Oct 31 2011 8:31PM
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hendriab
Posts: 990 - Karma: 404
lol at all you assholes who are treating this shit like some sort of homework assignment for professor JD to tear apart with his "experienced" logic, pointing out all your flaws.

and lol, zombies would def need to breathe to move....repeated muscle contractions require oxygen
Oct 31 2011 8:45PM
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shocker611
Posts: 2599 - Karma: 423
why would you not just live at the top of some sort of gnarly plateau? A big one would be best, with cliffs that you cant just walk up, how the hell would zombies get up?
Oct 31 2011 8:47PM
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ORDEAL
Posts: 6386 - Karma: 75
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Oct 31 2011 8:54PM
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McFellon
Posts: 1841 - Karma: 2,005
This is true, unless the virus allows their cells to use a lactic acid fermentation pathway (a type of anaerobic respiration used by bacteria). But we're dealing with zombies here, so I feel like conventional biology is off the table. Everything is hypothetical.
Also, when J.D. is alive and well and you're either dead or a zombie, you'll be sorry about what you said about him.
Oct 31 2011 9:04PM
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Rumi.
Posts: 1231 - Karma: 556
just spent a solid 20 minutes reading every post
Oct 31 2011 9:26PM
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squibble
Posts: 4569 - Karma: 104
All of your plans are great for lasting in a zombie outbreak, but how do you begin? It's the first few weeks that will be the most difficult with murders, car crashes, general chaos and confusion, and lack of food/water. How would you survive that? Would you just let your family die?

As soon as shit gets real, call your friends/family and organize a meeting place/time so you can all work out some genius plan.

Oct 31 2011 9:29PM
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steezeknees
Posts: 819 - Karma: 9
canadians have another issue with more limited gun supplies.
Oct 31 2011 9:32PM
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Bart.Man
Posts: 1742 - Karma: 1,952
Click for larger image
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and for an escape route

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which leads in to

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which pops out in to

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I would then proceed to ascend the rope that I would always have in place at that point and follow my trusty route. That way if theyre too close or one exit is blocked then I have another choice.

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Oct 31 2011 10:19PM
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JIBpsy^^
Posts: 2851 - Karma: 36
My plan would be to head to a lower altitude with my 4 runner and extra gas A few rifles Ammunition. Fishing gear Farming supplies canned food etc. Go find some cabin in the woods and live off the land. No it really wouldnt be that hard if you eat canned food whenver you cant find other fresh food. think about it. No zomies would just wander up into the wods specifically if there are steep inclines etc. Also after about a year i would say l the zombies would hav decomposed.
Nov 1 2011 12:05AM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,143
Really, if you're using them so much that gun shortages are a problem, you're screwed. Ideally you want to never have to fire a shot. Zack doesn't care how many of his buddies you kill, it won't scare him off, just attract more of them. In other words, killing them doesn't really get you much of anywhere. The only time to shoot the things is when you absolutely have to to protect yourself. Running is usually a better option. So guns (weapons generally) are not the most crucial equipment. You want one for when that emergency arises, but there are worse things to run out of. Like food.
Nov 1 2011 2:04AM
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
seeing a canadian in an a gun store down in the states is a pretty funny thing to witness
Nov 1 2011 3:00AM
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PON3
Posts: 3817 - Karma: 783
this thread makes me want a zombie apocalypse to happen. Since this thread is so successful, Im sure the only people living afterwords will be NS'ers lol
Nov 1 2011 3:20AM
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GratefulShred
Posts: 419 - Karma: 408
My home mountain zombie apocalypse theory. Here we go.
At the start of the outbreak, without hesitation I'd take a small team of able bodied trustworthy people. Not friends. No attachments out there. With a reasonable amount of supplies (Guns, gas, portable solar panels, gardening supplies, camp supplies, skis, etc) we'd roll up to the restaurant at the top of my home mountain. (Pcmr)

DEFENSE: From there, proceed to board up and secure the top, as well as stocking every lift shack with necessities and other various sheds around the mountain.  Get a few snow cats looking militant and post up a few snowmobiles in case of emergency. As well as having quick access to certain loaded lift towers. High ground will keep ya relatively safe. Ski patrols dynamite can be used in quite a few ways, from the worst case of literally blowing Z's up, to strategically inducing avy's as a mean of defense. Also, to those of you who think that the noise will be the easiest giveaway possible, mind you I'm deep in a series of canyons where the noise will echo and bounce which could work as a simple distraction for the Z's. Dont you worry about that. The vantage point of my place will be spectacular too. From the condition of my town, to Z's a mile away. Time is key, and when something happens I want time on my side.

LIVING: Standard hydroponic small gardening operation, not too certain on the logistics of that, but i'd figure it out. Mind you i'm stocked with the works for that, plus surrounded by a mountain for water. Keep as much warm clothing and blankets on hand because it would be cold as fuck. Plenty of wood around for fire. (Small contained fires of course inside, snowpit fires outside to hide the flames but provide warmth and light if we so need it.) Wildlife is plentiful. Ungroomed slopes would make for a pretty tough journey to get to me. Oh and I would have massive amounts of literature, because in the stationary Zombie defense mode, there would be lots of downtime.


SUMMER: Replace sleds with 4 wheelers and trucks, and grab my bike. then follow^

IF WORSE CAME TO WORSE: Emergency pack would always be prepared, Hop on my skis and move to strategically placed safehouses depending on the situation. On skis i will always be faster than a Z. Even on a cat track. Quickly hit a sled, snowcat, lifttower, or liftshack if necessary. Time pending, get to the base. Gear up. and prepare for the mobile life.




Nov 1 2011 6:10AM
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knows_butter
Posts: 477 - Karma: 32
hate to ruin the party but...

It's funny how everyone's planning to deal with a virus that doesn't and never has existed before. All these zombie abilities you're planning to try counter are creations of hollywood.

Not hating, I love the walking dead etc, but

a) the chance of it happening are 0.0000000000000000000001
b) I believe we would have the ability to contain it. Whether that be containment on a regional, national, or continental level. In the modern age, news of the outbreak would spread so fucking fast it's not funny and governments would easily be able to react.

Assuming it did happen walking dead style, I believe your chance of survival is almost entirely dictated by your location when the virus outbreaks.

I live in NZ so I'm safe. The only way here is to fly basically. Unless it starts here (0.05% chance) I'm sweet. Our customs would lock down incoming flights and quarantine all passengers for a couple of weeks. We produce 1/3 of the global dairy market so food isn't an issue. Sure, our lives would drastically change if the country had to shift to a closed economy but we'd get through it and eventually take over the world along with other island nations after a couple of years when all the zombies on the mainland have died out.

You've got a bigger chance of being butt fucked by an alien invasion than by zombies.
Nov 1 2011 7:38AM
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Crispy.
Posts: 6112 - Karma: 7,692
I would have my friends manning the other turrets.

BUT, you do have a point. Getting 3 hummers w/ .50s would be unlikely
Nov 1 2011 7:56AM
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Dr.Brown
Posts: 588 - Karma: 21
Nov 1 2011 8:58AM
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Tasche
Posts: 5422 - Karma: 99
Do a bit of basic homework on Voyager spacecraft etc. and the Oort Cloud and you’ll soon realise that the fastest object man has ever built took over 10 years to travel past Pluto which is a mere 1/50th of the way to the Oort Cloud which is considered the boundary of our solar system, not our galaxy, just our solar system. That’s well over 500 years to leave our solar system and only a fraction of the way to the nearest sun beyond our solar system. The reality is that no human will ever leave our solar system. Travelling the universe Star Trek style is a complete and utter fantasy….and even supposing you disagree from a technology standpoint, there are trillions of stars to choose from. Which one do you propose to visit to seek alien life. The same arguments apply to aliens coming to us.

So a Zombie like infection is actually much more likely. Plus it is fun to give into fantasy.

It is also much harder to contain an infection than you think and many viral infections can remain dormant for long periods of time and are undetectable. People also have free will and will do anything to live.

Governments are full of very, very stupid people. I would have absolutely no faith in any government official doing anything proactive in a viral outbreak.

Also, knowing what you Kiwis are like the infection is likely to break out in New Zealand, probably in some type of dairy accident...

Zombies were originally invented to portray the kind of blind consumerism that has ensnared the whole world, so in a way, we are already all zombies.
Nov 1 2011 11:33AM
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Tasche
Posts: 5422 - Karma: 99
Which leads me to believe that we are much more likely to interact with inter-dimensional than extraterrestrial beings.

All hypothetical. If Aliens did ever travel to our planet they would be so technologically advanced an apt analogy is impossible to convey.

In my opinion the end of the human race will not come from disease, war, zombies, or even aliens. It will come when we reach the so called "singularity" and break free from our preordained genetic destiny and use our technology to create human machine hybrids. Humans will eventually die out just like 99.99% of species that have existed on earth, however our legacy will live on.

haha.
Nov 1 2011 3:48PM
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squibble
Posts: 4569 - Karma: 104
lol when i first walked into a sports store and a whole wall was devoted to guns, i was a little surprised. Like you guys are a gun culture!
Nov 1 2011 5:07PM
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Trojan~Man
Posts: 1996 - Karma: 1,357
i dunno about you guys but i live in canada and i know a bunch of stores with huge walls devoted to guns...
Nov 1 2011 5:51PM
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