Replying to Where to go on vacation this summer

Alright guys I just landed a pretty ballin job for this coming summer so before going back to school I want to relax and spend a week or so at some epic place.

Things I'm looking for:
-Ocean with beautiful crystal clear water
-Big ass waves/good surfing
-Cliff diving
-Scuba diving
-Preferably outside the US (aka drinking age of <21)
-Jungles or volcanoes or something else equally sweet
-Babes
-Less crowds & tourists = better
-No shit third world accommodations - I don't need a 5-star hotel but don't want to stay in a shack with no plumbing/electricity/etc.

Which place meets these specifications?  Cost doesn't matter to an extent... but I don't wanna be throwing down like 5 grand for this.