Hey guys, so I was going through my junk e-mail folder just now and came across this e-mail from a Mr. Adsjkskdjfh Shakur:
Dear friend,
My name is Mr. ABDUSH SHAKUR. am the manager of auditing and accounting department Bank of African, I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of $17, 200, 000.00 (Seventeen Million Two Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only) immediately to your account. This is an abandoned fund that belongs to one of our foreign customers who died along with his entire family in a plane crash in December 2007.
Meanwhile, it was very fortunate for me to come across the deceased file, when I was arranging the old and abandoned customers files in other to sign and submit to the entire bank management, an official re-documentation and to the law imposed by the British Prime Minister Gordon Brown said in World Press Conference on Tuesday 6 December 2005 at 12:18 GMT. For more information about the prime Minister decision on dormant Accounts visit: Audit of the year against 2006 informed clearly that it was stated in our Foreign banking rules and regulations, which was signed lawfully that if such fund remains unclaimed till the period of 3 years started from the date when the beneficiary died, the money will be transferred into the Government treasury as an unclaimed fund.
However, it is not authorized by the rules guiding our bank for a citizen of Burkina Faso to make the claim of the fund unless you are a foreigner, no matter the country you come from, that’s the reason I contacts you as a foreigner to apply for the claim and transfer of the fund smoothly into your reliable bank account as the next of kin to the deceased, and I assure you that this transaction is 100% risks free.
I agree to offer you 40% in respect of all your assistance for this transaction, 10% will be for the incurred expenses that will be made during the transferring process of this fund in your account, then 50% will be for me being the pioneer of the business. If you are really sure of your, Trust worthiness, Accountability and confidentiality on this transaction contact me and accept not to change your mind to cheat, or disappoint me when the deposited funds are released to you by our bank
Reply me as soon as possible so that I will let you know the next steps and procedures to follow in order to finalize this transaction immediately.
I expect your urgent reply
Best regard,
Mr. ABDUSH SHAKUR
Now then, i decided I should write back to him and let him know i'd like to help. Here was my response:
What it do friend?!
First of all, sorry to hear about the deceased, I'll pour out some liquor for them. That's what rappers do so I figure they must be onto something. Big Booty bitches and all that shit you feel me? I see that your incredible business idea of dubbing pornographic films in dolphin noises really took off! I am very sorry for having doubted your business plan all those years ago. Let me take a brief second to say one thing, Seventeen million two hundred thousand dollars?! NIGGA PLEASE! That's a lotta loot dog! You been stackin paper higher than Dunder Mifflin fool! I should have gotten into your line of business, college was obviously a stupid decision as I see that while you lack correct grammar and usage, you're rich enough to dip your dong in chrome and balls in platinum (tell me you've already done it!).
Anyway, I'd be happy to help you store your greenbacks here on U.S. soil for safekeeping. I can always appreciate a gangster in need. In fact this one time my friend Jamal got caught butt fucking a deer in the woods while he was stoned on acid and I had to bail him out of jail a few days later. Turns out he was in turn getting butt fucked by a rather large inmate! Karma is a funny thing don't you agree? The moral of the story is, you should always be quick when it comes to helping people in need.
Please let me know what you need me to do first and I will work on getting you the needed information.
i'd like to keep you posted on how this goes. please share any of your personal stories of fucking with scammers and other equally stupid clowns like this guy.
