How to prepare for the Upcoming Ski Season

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Found an old list, add your own...some of these are dumb, but it helps knowing we are not alone.

*Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.

*Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying skis, poles, and bag constantly dropping your car keys looking for your car.

*Go to McDonalds and insist on paying $8.50 for a hamburger.

*Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.

*Ask a friend to run into you at full speed.

*Dress up as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.

*Slam your thumb in a car door. Dont go to see a doctor.

*Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards burn two $5 bills to stay warm.

*If you wear glasses, smudge the lenses to give a fog feel.

*Throw away a hundred dollar bill right now.

*Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes.

*You type newschoolers.com into the address bar but realize you are already on the homepage.

add your own!

Oct 22 2011 10:12PM

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californiagrown

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Crazy Fool

sounds like the gaper to-do list

Oct 22 2011 10:16PM

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AwR

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dammit californiagrown, I feel like a mother who just prepared a nice dinner and you ruined it by saying it tastes like crap....and YES of course it is a gaper to-do list....BUT remember before you could gap you could only gape.

Oct 22 2011 10:19PM

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Saintlysteeze

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Ridiculous

some of those were pretty accurate ways to help

Oct 22 2011 10:23PM

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broto

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Crazy Fool

-throughout any day at any time, have your friends push you onto the ground and hold ice packs onto your skin in random locations.

Oct 22 2011 10:29PM

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californiagrown

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Crazy Fool

sorry MOM!!

Oct 22 2011 10:32PM

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broto

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Crazy Fool

-hit your shins with hard objects such as pots, pans, hammers, rocks, sticks, or stairs
-sprint as fast as possible through a very bushy forest. do not wear eye protection
-buy several 24 packs of ramen and cliff bars
-dip the bottom half of your shirt in water, then place it in the freezer. put it on and take it off several times to get used to the feeling of this happening after a long day of skiing.

Oct 22 2011 10:38PM

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POW-WOW

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Insane

Walk on the tips of your toes all day to get the nice toe-bang feeling/soreness

Make a metal shoe, mold it to fit you foot, then even add tighter sections if you feel like it.

Oct 22 2011 10:47PM

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californiagrown

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walk on your heels for shinbang, not toes.

Oct 22 2011 10:48PM

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POW-WOW

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Insane

And scrape the bottom of you skis with any sharp object such as knives, scissors, ice.

Oct 22 2011 10:49PM

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POW-WOW

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Insane

toe-bang dumbfuck.

Oct 22 2011 10:50PM

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broto

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Crazy Fool

-rub your head/hair in some home insulation to make it real itchy

Oct 22 2011 10:52PM

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Heart

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go for a run with your helmet on to make it all sweaty

Oct 22 2011 10:54PM

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californiagrown

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Crazy Fool

touche, you einstein you.

Oct 22 2011 10:59PM

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SKIU4EA

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break both your ankles

Oct 22 2011 11:04PM

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TheTristanator

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^haha

-find a man in a red coat and piss him off....

i tried

Oct 22 2011 11:04PM

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snowswinger

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Loner

see how many nights in a row u can sneak into local hotel's hottub

Oct 22 2011 11:06PM

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k-fred

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sit in a chair for multiple hour, when the fucking chairlift break and you gotta wait hour.

jump off your roof, when the fucking chairlift break and you gotta jump off the lift cause you dont wanna wait.

Oct 22 2011 11:24PM

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Montana_Hoodrat

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Hold your hands in ice for an hour, then put on mittens and try to tie your shoes.

...then drink a gallon of milk in an hour.

Oct 23 2011 1:05AM

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ironic

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Ridiculous

Practice standing up for days (maybe even weeks) of time in prep for those lift lines.

Oct 23 2011 1:10AM

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TheTristanator

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drive somewhere really far away just to turn around cause you forgot something.

Oct 23 2011 2:56AM

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mikeyT123

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Pro

put your rfid pass in your pocket and try to get into random places such as the movie theater by saying "just scan my seasons pass"

Oct 23 2011 3:53AM

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Billek

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. Put your gloves on the roof. Wake up every morning and get dressed in your driveway to practice for those awesome parking lot dressing sessions.

Put on tall tees and ski boots before every shit you take.

Buy something awesome and smash it on the ground as soon as you get out of the store. Or drop it on the ground and leave it there, or ask someone steal it from you as soon as you can.

Belly flop on to a handrail at least one time daily.

Every time your head itches, quickly put all of your head gear on, followed by gloves. After putting it all on, rip it all of as soon as possible and scratch the itch. Practice this sitting on the edge of your house to get ready for doing this on the chairlift.

Wear gloves to the supermarket. This serves the purpose of acclimating you to handling several different items while wearing gloves. In the checkout line, rip your gloves off quickly, making sure not to set them down on anything, and take your wallet out to pay the nice lady. Put gloves back on as soon as possible.

Drive your car a half mile away from your house, and put your gloves on the roof. Walk home, put your ski boots on, and then walk back to the car to get your gloves. Now you can drive around a bit with ski boots on. Kills many birds with one stone.

Oct 23 2011 10:51AM

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Timotheezy.

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Ridiculous

I loled

Oct 23 2011 11:25AM

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Montana_Hoodrat

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Haha yeah NEVER do this. Especially driving in snow. With a manual transmission.

Oct 23 2011 11:38AM

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midwestpowhunter

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either put gloves on and try to track around ur iphone/ipod. or like me just use ur nose for an entire day to make calls listen to music and check the interwebz.

Oct 23 2011 11:45AM

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Montana_Hoodrat

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Insane

ski more. nerd-out less

Oct 23 2011 11:49AM

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DubV134

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Insane

rain jacket and goggles on, as much of your body out your buddies sunroof as possible while he is doin 30+ in a rain storm.... helmet might also help if you go to far

Oct 23 2011 11:51AM

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midwestpowhunter

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chair lift ever?

Oct 23 2011 11:55AM

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a_pla5tic_bag

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Crazy Fool

well if everyone didn't wear tall tees this wouldn't be a problem.

Oct 23 2011 12:16PM

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SacZiplock

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We both ski at the same mtn ( ski bromont ) and it happens all the time , true story

Oct 23 2011 12:36PM

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soulskier

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Post Whore

drink heavily

Oct 23 2011 12:37PM

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james6345789

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this is so true.

Oct 23 2011 12:44PM

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xoxxooxo

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When passing a fit girl on the street, pop, spin 180 and start walking switch until you pass her

Oct 23 2011 12:50PM

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xoxxooxo

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Ridiculous

Whenever you walk up to a group of friends spray them with water and laugh childishly

Oct 23 2011 12:51PM

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triebby

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Crazy Fool

Ahahaha so good

Oct 23 2011 12:57PM

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.zobel.

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Insane

sig'd

Oct 23 2011 1:08PM

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james6345789

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i think he meant fat. not fit

Oct 23 2011 2:59PM

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TheGnarwhal

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Drink heavy amounts of alcohol and run down the street as quickly as possible, avoiding the obvious dangers of cars, people, curbs and signs.

Oct 23 2011 3:29PM

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PANDA_SWAGGA

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Ridiculous

well fuck you.

Oct 23 2011 3:54PM

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Milksteak

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Crazy Fool

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Oct 23 2011 4:14PM

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broto

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Crazy Fool

take a cold shower, then get out and immediately have your friend point the most powerful that he can at you. bonus points if you have your air conditioning on and if you shower with fleece mittens and clothes.

Oct 23 2011 4:51PM

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