Member of the Month

KilaTsunami
October, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Some of you might be too young....

profile picture
pikupfulofsnow
Posts: 2077 - Karma: 9,696
but check out the worst co-worker of all time:
Oct 19 2011 2:47AM
0 0
profile picture
squibble
Posts: 4569 - Karma: 104
hahaha "I put a tupperware in the fridge that had a sandwich and a kit kat in it, and when i opened it at lunch there was a pickle in it instead. I know it was DAVID THORNE"

thats a goldmine, thanks. open to puns and everything, so good
Oct 19 2011 2:55AM
0 0
profile picture
JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
I lost it on the one where he moved the guys shit into the kitchen and put the plant and water in there. Best part was "It took me 2 hours to move my stuff back I asked david thorne to help but he stated he was to busy researching wasps" hahahhahahahahaha fucking classic
Oct 19 2011 2:58AM
0 0
profile picture
hoodratz47
Posts: 12020 - Karma: 9,475
nickleback poster.....lol
Oct 19 2011 3:08AM
0 0
profile picture
Autist
Posts: 67 - Karma: 143
http://www.happyplace.com/3701/guy-photoshops-justin-bieber-face-into-coworkers-entire-stock-photo-library this is great!
Oct 19 2011 3:15AM
0 0
profile picture
b.utters
Posts: 321 - Karma: 99
http://27bslash6.com/


Check out his website.

There is some hilarious shit on there, I remember almost falling off my chair laughing about the bee's and yellow motorbike emails.
Oct 19 2011 3:28AM
0 0
profile picture
Aidan-G
Posts: 9415 - Karma: 10,861
^This
Oct 19 2011 3:35AM
0 0
profile picture
Aidan-G
Posts: 9415 - Karma: 10,861
David Thorne is a hero of men
Oct 19 2011 3:37AM
0 0
profile picture
canterbury
Posts: 2382 - Karma: 55
Click for larger image
Oct 19 2011 3:55AM
0 0
profile picture
Obie.
Posts: 1741 - Karma: 3,646
"Sometime last month he changed my business card title from Graphic Designer to Horse Whisperer. I dont know when he changed them so I dont know how many I've given out to people."

yes.
Oct 19 2011 6:38AM
0 0
profile picture
*simba*
Posts: 9125 - Karma: 512
Reminds me of Dwight and Jim on The Office.
Oct 19 2011 7:05AM
0 0
profile picture
-Mugatu
Posts: 2579 - Karma: 84
this
Oct 19 2011 8:02AM
0 0
profile picture
HolySchimmel
Posts: 1601 - Karma: 1,297
That guy definetly saw too much of the office! Must be an awesome place wbere they work!!!
Oct 19 2011 8:14AM
0 0
profile picture
PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
His website vaguely reminds me of Tucker Max or Maddox....
Oct 19 2011 8:51AM
0 0
profile picture
Bart.Man
Posts: 1742 - Karma: 1,952
all of those were hilarious except for the iPhone one. Thats over the line
Oct 19 2011 9:06AM
0 0
profile picture
KRASHED
Posts: 7803 - Karma: 466
Well worth the read, user email

From: George Lewis
Date: Thursday 2 September 2010 6.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: No Subject

I have read your website and it is obviously that your a foggot.
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 2 September 2010 8.07pm
To: George Lewis
Subject: Re: No Subject

Dear George,
Thank you for your email. While I have no idea what a foggot is, I will assume it is a term of endearment and appreciate you taking time out from calculating launch trajectories or removing temporal lobe tumors to contact me with such. I have attached a signed photo as per your request.
Regards, David.

Click for larger image
From: George Lewis
Date: Thursday 2 September 2010 8.49pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: No Subject

I didnt ask for a photo fag. and I meant faggot you homo. im not a fan so you can shove your signed photo up your ass. You would probably enjoy that. LOL!!!! Go suck your boyfriends dick in a gay club.
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 2 September 2010 9.17pm
To: George Lewis
Subject: Re: Re: Re: No Subject

Dear George,
While I do not have a boyfriend, I do have a friend who is homosexual and I once asked him "Do you ever think about having sex with me because you are gay?" to which he replied "Do you ever think about having sex with Rosie O'Donnell because you are straight? Same thing." If I was inclined to have a boyfriend, I would select one my height and weight to save having to readjust the driver's seat position. I am not interested in doubling my wardrobe as I wear the same outfit everyday to facilitate speedy identification should I ever be in a boating accident.Although I have never been to a gay club as such, when I was about ten, a friend and I constructed a club house in my backyard using timber stolen from a building site down the street. Our club, which we named 'The Kiss Club' due to a certain band being popular at the time, employed an intensive entry exam in which the applicant had to know all the words to Love Gun and not be a girl. As we had no other friends and knew no girls apart from my sister, this made sense at the time. The next day after school, having managed to recruit several new members by promising laminated membership cards and changing the entry exam to 'knowing the names of the band members', we all rode to my place to participate in our first club meeting only to discover my sister, outraged by the 'no girls' rule and armed with four litres of paint left over from a recent bedroom redesign, had painted the clubhouse pink and added 'ing' to the end of the word 'Kiss'.
Also, despite your inference, I have managed, up to this point, to avoid putting most things in my bottom. Primarily due to the possibility that I might enjoy it, get carried away, and move on to watermelons or midsize family autos. When I was about eight, I drew a face on my hand and practiced kissing it, which I will admit is a little gay, and I have often thought there would be advantages to homosexuality such as Abercrombie & Fitch reward points, successful couch fabric selection capabilities and the gift of dance. With or without a top on. This would come in extremely useful if I needed five hundred dollars and saw a poster advertising a dance competition with a first prize of five hundred dollars.
Regards, David.
From: George Lewis
Date: Thursday 2 September 2010 9.33pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: No Subject

If you livd close by gaycunt I would be over your place with five friends tonight.
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 2 September 2010 10.08pm
To: George Lewis
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: No Subject

Dear George,
I knew we would get along well. We have only known each other for one day and already you are organising a party. I am not sure where Gaycunt is but if I did "livd close by" to it, I would definitely be up for that.
We could all sit outside on banana lounges discussing the best way to rebuild a 4WD transmission and agree, through shared stories of conquests supporting our assertions, that there is no basis to the proposition that those least assured of their persuasions are the first to condemn others for theirs. Although the ideal would be for everyone to be capable of love without fear, restraint, or obligation, clearly this does not apply to homosexuals.
At no time during the night would you comment on how much you liked my Abercrombie & Fitch pants or ask "is that a Marcel Breuer couch? I love the fabric selection" and when we danced, we would all leave our tops on.
Regards, David.
From: George Lewis
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 1.18pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: No Subject

no fag I live in Charleston west virginia the best country in the world. I wasnt sying it would be a party. we would smash your fucking skull in and if you are calling me a fag you can get fucked becasue I have a girlfriend.
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 1.56pm
To: George Lewis
Subject: Yeehaw y'all

Dear George,
Is she also your sister? I checked out her photos on your Facebook page and while she is not exactly my type, I accept that other people have different preferences. Even when those preferences include facial tattoos and stretch pants constructed from sufficient material to shelter a small village. And their livestock. Some men enjoy dancing with other men without their tops on while others prefer the company of a woman two KFC family buckets away from upsetting the planet's rotational axis.
I read somewhere that Eskimos prefer women of girth as it provides warmth at night. I have seen the size of those igloos though and there is no way your girlfriend would make it through the opening. You could probably just construct one around her and despite the hassle of having to trudge out into the snow every day to catch and prepare the eighty seals required to maintain her mass, it would be like a kiln in there.
If I were an Eskimo, I would build my igloo next to a supermarket or on a tropical beach.
Regards, David.
From: George Lewis
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 2.01pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Yeehaw y'all

She isnt fat you fag. and that she got that tattoo is a teardrop becasue her family is dead.
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 2.06pm
To: George Lewis
Subject: Re: Re: Yeehaw y'all


Did she eat them?
From: George Lewis
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 2.32pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Yeehaw y'all

Get fucked fag her family they died in a traffic accident. have some respect. Go put some more gel in your hair and dye it balck like a emo skinny fag. And how can you see my facebook page pictures?
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 3.02pm
To: George Lewis
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Yeehaw y'all

Dear George,
Yes, I have heard those motorhomes can be a bitch to steer. Especially around tight corners during a police chase or moonshine run.
I will concede to fifty percent of your description of me as a "skinny fag" being correct. If our bodies are temples, mine would be a heavily shelled Iranian mosque express. To rectify this, I have instigated a fitness and weight training regime. Once a week I carry two heavy garbage bags out to the sidewalk and jog back. As this week was my first session and I did not want to over exert myself, I took the car. Obviously with a few breaks in between to re-hydrate and stretch.
Although hardly an emo, I understand their pain. If I looked in the mirror and saw an anorexic version of Pugsly Adams staring back at me I would probably start cutting myself as well. I will admit to having dyed my hair once though. The product, misrepresented as 'Natural Black' instead of 'Astro Boy black', turned my hair as dark as an adequate simile describing just how black it actually was and stained my forehead and ears purple. In an attempt to blend the colour, I rubbed the remainder of the mixture onto my face, figuring it might look like a tan. I spent the following two weeks telling people that I could not leave the house due to agoraphobia, an illness usually self-diagnosed by the unemployed as an excuse to stay home and masturbate or play Wii.
I have access to your Facebook page due to the friend request you accepted from the Oscar Wilde profile I constructed yesterday. I assumed the name would hold no relevance to you and, consistency being the last refuge of the unimaginative, I typed 'Redneck wearing baseball cap' into google images to locate a photo you would identify and feel comfortable with.
Regards, David.
From: George Lewis
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 4.48pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Yeehaw y'all

Thats fraud. I will report you to the police and to facebook fag. i would shoot you in the face with my .32 if you were here right now.
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 5.19pm
To: George Lewis
Subject: tarded

Dear George,
Yes, I'm fairly certain there is a worldwide criminal investigation network dedicated solely to bringing those who construct fake Facebook profiles to justice. I believe the punishment is tar and feathering in most parts of the world except West Virginia where you are stripped naked, oiled up and chased around a paddock while wearing a pig mask.
Apparently in West Virginia, this is also known as a 'date'. Variations include substituting the paddock with a motorhome or the person with an actual pig. Or in your case, both.
Also, as it is probably far more acceptable for men in West Virginia to hold guns than hands, I will assume the term 'shooting me in the face with your .32' is not a euphemism.Regards, David.
From: George Lewis
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 7.04pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: tarded

Ive deleted you from my facebook and reported you. i hope you die of aids fag. Dont bothering emailing me again becasue I wont read it.
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 7.12pm
To: George Lewis
Subject: dneck

Yes you will.
From: George Lewis
Date: Friday 3 September 2010 7.16pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: dneck

No I fucking wont fag
Oct 19 2011 9:12AM
0 0
profile picture
theJones
Posts: 676 - Karma: 158
these are all great,

Oct 19 2011 9:51AM
0 0
profile picture
come_at_me_bro
Posts: 494 - Karma: 19
Haha that was fucking golden
Oct 19 2011 9:53AM
0 0
profile picture
Poems
Posts: 1041 - Karma: 3

I started laughing so fucking hard.
Oct 19 2011 10:31AM
0 0
profile picture
Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
I'm amazed that the guy was able to get away with this kind of shit. I mean, seriously, he painted an iphone with white out and they didn't do anything?
Oct 19 2011 10:36AM
0 0
profile picture
Davy.Crockett
Posts: 5373 - Karma: 324
hahaha i love these
Oct 19 2011 10:38AM
0 0
profile picture
bo0b
Posts: 2964 - Karma: 996
Look at the subject of the last two on the foggot one.
Oct 19 2011 10:38AM
0 0
profile picture
Lord.Quasimoto
Posts: 958 - Karma: 33
hahah, 2 buckets of KFC away from upsetting the roational axis of the earth.
Oct 19 2011 10:42AM
0 0
profile picture
jibnut
Posts: 3038 - Karma: 304
The spider and cat ones are good, too.
Oct 19 2011 10:49AM
0 0
profile picture
daskis
Posts: 1828 - Karma: 356
HAHAHAHHAHA I enjoyed this very much. It made my day.
Oct 19 2011 9:05PM
0 0
profile picture
stupendous-man
Posts: 8637 - Karma: 13,293
i just lost so hard at the kit kat one
Oct 19 2011 9:51PM
0 0
profile picture
1337
Posts: 31054 - Karma: 29,232
classic
Oct 19 2011 10:06PM
0 0
profile picture
SeanTom
Posts: 7936 - Karma: 1,747
ahhaha, the e-mail was fucking amazing

and the complaints were almost equally as good.
here's a link to the beiber faces
Oct 19 2011 10:07PM
0 0
profile picture
terrible_skier
Posts: 2066 - Karma: 226
Such epicness.
Oct 19 2011 10:15PM
0 0
profile picture
las.
Posts: 1959 - Karma: 1,455
amazing. those emails were superb
Oct 19 2011 10:30PM
0 0
profile picture
erikK
Posts: 3245 - Karma: 2,328
Man I fucking lost it when I went to "learn more about the justin bieber incident" or whatever
Oct 19 2011 10:35PM
0 0
profile picture
[tk]
Posts: 3863 - Karma: 1,906
Yea definitely too young for this. What does co-worker mean?
Oct 19 2011 10:39PM
0 0
profile picture
Lavieille
Posts: 814 - Karma: 318
i just took a wild ride on the roflcopter!!!
Oct 19 2011 11:11PM
0 0
profile picture
las.
Posts: 1959 - Karma: 1,455
Tim and Gareth*. silly american
Oct 19 2011 11:13PM
0 0
profile picture
SwitchMisty540
Posts: 1862 - Karma: 629
sooooooooooo funny
Oct 19 2011 11:47PM
0 0
profile picture
SwitchMisty540
Posts: 1862 - Karma: 629

ohh shit....now i know why that name was so familiar.  here is another incident involving the famous david thorne

http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=63777

Oct 19 2011 11:52PM
0 0
profile picture
arandomname
Posts: 1989 - Karma: 18

Yeah, that really confused me.  What is there to be too young for?

Anyways, this guy is fucking great.

Oct 19 2011 11:57PM
0 0
profile picture
erikK
Posts: 3245 - Karma: 2,328
oh my god i love this guy. i laughed non-stop throughout that whole thread. can this thread now be about david thorne's work? please?
Oct 20 2011 12:06AM
0 0
profile picture
Lucas
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 1,575
new fav thread
Oct 20 2011 12:37AM
0 0
profile picture
Toasty.
Posts: 6195 - Karma: 2,281
simon dempsey gets shitted on like every other one
Oct 20 2011 12:39AM
0 0
profile picture
B-runge
Posts: 16558 - Karma: 361
those emails were fucking gold.
this guy is a boss
Oct 20 2011 12:50AM
0 0
profile picture
Pool.
Posts: 2820 - Karma: 662
threads
Oct 20 2011 12:52AM
0 0
profile picture
SteezoSaurus
Posts: 2630 - Karma: 2,670
threadz
Oct 20 2011 12:55AM
0 0
profile picture
Lucas
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 1,575
http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html
Oct 20 2011 12:56AM
0 0
profile picture
Lucas
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 1,575
http://27bslash6.com/
Oct 20 2011 12:58AM
0 0
profile picture
steezeknees
Posts: 819 - Karma: 9
threads for sure
Oct 20 2011 1:07AM
0 0
profile picture
jamodeo
Posts: 3040 - Karma: 663
man is a fucking genius
Oct 20 2011 1:19AM
0 0
profile picture
pikupfulofsnow
Posts: 2077 - Karma: 9,696
"too you"= if you are 15 and have never had a desk job, this might not be that entertaining. and. a thread title like that=a for sure click and laugh ;)
Oct 20 2011 2:41AM
0 0
profile picture
Shark.
Posts: 3158 - Karma: 270
fucking hilarious.
Oct 20 2011 2:48AM
0 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51642 - Karma: 162,192
Page two.


Fucking golden. Solid post
Oct 20 2011 4:59AM
0 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51642 - Karma: 162,192
"Sometime this morning or last night David Thorne glued pictures of his face onto the nickleback poster above my desk"

lol, nickleback.
Oct 20 2011 5:05AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)