looking for somewhere to spout my shit, and i guess it's kind of making it hard to sleep so here will do. i dated a girl for 5 months or something, about as serious as i get, and she started getting pretty serious, close to the l word kind of deal. i liked her and all, but wasn't anywhere near that, wasn't in it for the long run, so i jumped ship before i did anymore damage. it felt pretty shitty at first, but after about a week i decided it was the right thing to do, and went on loving the single life.
fast forward 2 months and my lack of any good action had me remembering all the reasons i dated her: gorgeous, loved sex, and all the positives of having a girlfriend, and the time made me forget the reasons i bailed:not much in common, didn't feel anything strong for her, new if i stayed around i'd be playing with her emotions.
we haven't talked much since the split, and tonight i went to a buds house and she was there. ok, fine, won't make it awkward, have a decent time, have a couple beer, whatever. then, she and a buddy of mine are leaving (they take the same bus home). i was gonna stay, but i made the split second decision to sleep in my bed instead of a couch, so i headed to catch up, but they's getting all cuddly and close out on the street.
turns out they're bangin, or if to someone more mature "dating." i headed back to my bud's house since i'm taking the same bus and i'm uninterested in the awkwardness that would be that busride. this is where my current situation comes up: my brain's alright with it: i broke up with her, i've been having the time of my life while she felt like garbage for a month. the dude's also a good guy, way to go, all that noise. but i've still got that bummer of a feeling in my gut that comes from mishaps with the ladies, and as i'm sure a lot of you know at a certain point there's no way for it go away but wait it out, so there i am. feeling shitty (all happened at the end of a shitty day as it was) for what i know isn't a valid reason, but all the same, and i've got nothing to do about it but lie in bed probably think about it.
i apologize for the tl:dr block o' text, but apparently i'm not so good at brevity when i'm 5 beers deep.