WRITTEN BY PO Smeallie
http://posthoughtsandopinions.blogspot.com/
Po recently showed me this article he wrote and I thought it was very interesting (and funny) so i wanted to share it with u guys
1) Diabetes Type 2- La Dolce Vita ("The Sweet Life"), as Fellini titles it, deserves to be lived. May all the pastries and sugars of this world unite atop the taste palettes of humanity and exist peacefully inside our stomachs.
2) Skin Cancer- How the hell am I supposed tan in peace when the sun keeps trying to wage unending biological warfare on me?
3) Lyme Disease- Remember, as a kid, rolling in the grass on a lazy summer day. Well so do those little indestructable bastards who poison your bloodstream and plague your bodily system with high fevers. God, that must really tick you off.
4) Cancer- The Big C, you're a paradigmatic example of victorious imperalism and a festering scar on humanity as nasty as The Nazi Party and Al Quaeda combined. You cells may be able to replicate, mutate, multiply, invade, and conquer. But, alas, we have better technology, and with the incineration of you, no one will shed a single tear. Go to hell, you vile sons of bitches and I hope you die slowly and painfully-- as you've forced us to! (By the way, I really do wonder sometimes what the "C" in your nickname stands for)
5) Venereal Diseases (Especially Syphillus and HIV/AIDS)- Unintended pregnancies and Catholic demonization of Libido-driven urges aren't enough to deal with already?
6) Rabies- "Aww...that cute little dog bit me. Don't worry. It's only a scratch." Seriously, Nature, you really are a bitch!
7) Tetnus- So what if I step on a rusty nail? Is that really worth remaining forever silent?
8) ALS/Lou Gherig's Disease- Anyone disease that messes with our national pasttime will pay!
9) Malaria- If you're known for sucking people's blood, I'm sure you're hated enough already. You mosquitoes really have a lot of nerve.
10) E-Coli- Without you, thousands of irresponsible teenagers could keep their jobs at low-quality, fast food joints. No, but in all seriousness, we really detest you for trying to teach us a lesson about eating red meat.
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