Short Film T2i/7D - How may I help you?

<object width="400" height="225"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=28258642&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=c9ff23&fullscreen=1&autoplay=0&loop=0" /><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=28258642&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=c9ff23&fullscreen=1&autoplay=0&loop=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="225"></embed></object><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/28258642">How May I Help You?</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user4422712">Pit Bredimus</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p><p>A short movie produced during a UNICA youth exchange in Luxembourg, 20-28 August 2011.</p>

How May I Help You? from Pit Bredimus on Vimeo.

There ya go. I'm about to watch it.

Alright so my initial thoughts.

I wish you had a less jarring transition between him sitting and him running, the cut to black was both too long and too abrupt.

You should have either directed him to strengthen his acting or come up with some way to display the growing stress and concern he was feeling. It wasn't really believable that he would all of a sudden run and know exactly where to go.

When you're making a short film the hardest part is developing a storyline that an audience can believe and engage with. I would suggest you go back and shoot a couple more lines from the first scene then edit them in a way that shows the actors growing anxiety.

Other than those small details I really liked the story, very interesting and original.

From a cinematography and editing standpoint:

The voice on the other end of the phone could have been louder in the first scene.

I wish the cut to end the first scene came just after he left the frame, or even a bit before it, if you go back and re edit I would suggest you cut before his exit and continue with him running along the street.

In short films fades are the writing equivalent of saying "however, although, later, etc." Don't use them unless absolutely necessary and even then, I'm sure you can find a more interesting way around them.

I loved the shot of him running through the field at 0:38 however I wish you didn't cut away and back to a similar shot at 0:42, it was just too similar.

Focus pull from the road to the grass was confusing and added nothing to the story, that should be removed.

Shot at 01:00 was phenomenal, I loved that.

Focus pull at 01:16 was on point, nice job there.

Colors were awesome, I didn't see many crushed blacks or any blown out whites.

Really nice job! I look forward to seeing some future work from you!

^^^^ Talk about constructive criticism!

Really liked it, original story line etc.
The acting could've been a bit better, but that's something to work on.