I have a joke (:

how do you mess with helen keller?

why did the plane crash?

mines really mean but its hilarious.

my god that is unfunny

Threads

HAHAHA

a man walks into a bar. he is an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

who likes donuts but doesnt repost












you

I lied about the repost

So this lizard and this monkey are hanging out, and the monkey is rolling up a fat joint. The lizard asks if he can partake in said joint. The monkey says its cool so they climb up onto a tree branch and start blazing. The lizard does not smoke very ofter so about halfway through the joint he has terrible cotton mouth. He tells the monkey that he is going to get a drink, so he climbs down the tree and goes to the nearest pond to get a drink. After sitting and drinking for about 5 minutes an alligator pops out and asks why he is drinking so much. The lizard tells the alligator that a monkey got him super ripped and he would probably hook the gator up with a couple hits off of the joint, so the alligator goes to the tree and yells up to the monkey, "hey, can i get a couple rips off of that joint?" The monkey looks down and goes, "Damn lizard, how much water did you drink?"

lolzzzzzzzzzzz

Thats a pretty good joke.

Why are pessimists like german vegetarians? They fear the wurst.

im sick and tried of jew jokes Anne frankly ill take no part

how many elephants fit in a mini? 4 two in the front 2 in the back

how many giraffes fit in a mini? none its full of elephants

why did the kid fall off his bike? because his mom threw a fridge at him

true or false where is Compton?(let them answer true or false) Wrong its in la

a man walks into a bar...ow....he stepped on a nail

why did the kid fall of his tricycle? he had no arms

what did the police chef say when a elephant walked in? nothing he was on vacation

how do you know their is an elephant in your fridge? you cant shut the door

how do you know there are three elephants in your fridge? you hear giggling when you shut the door

how do you know there are four elephants in your fridge? there's a mini outside

how do you know there are 5 elephants in your fridge? there one empty mini and one mini with 3 elephants and giraffe in it outside your house

What did Agent Dick say to Agent Condom? Cover me, I'm going in.

What do you call a herd of Masturbating cattle?

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Neither did she. Why did Helen Keller get hit by a snow plow? She couldn't tell it to stop because she was wearing mittens.

What's better than winning a gold medal in front of all of your family at the paralympics?


walking.


And i don't normally like dead baby jokes, but i heard this one while driving baked, and it quite literally almost killed me.



What does a baby in the microwave smell like?


Don't Know?


Me neither, i was too busy furiously masturbating.

you sir, have a sick and twisted mind

hahah damn

This thread lol

me Threads

Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you."

So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind."

The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out!

"The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude.'

The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen ATM cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills -- I mean, I was loaded!

"So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my next wish , I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in love and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible.

"The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'"

The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head.

whats a do petaphiles have a hard time doing?


Fitting in

Hey seriously these racist jokes piss me off. Ive got a black guy in my family tree.

                                                                                                                                                                                              and hes still hangin' there.

Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

priceless!!!

Threads for later when I can read straight.

Wanna hear a joke about sodium?

Na...

How about one about potassium?

K.

what do you say when you see your fridge floating at night?
- that's a big fucking _____.


why couldn't hellen keller scream when she fell off a cliff?
-she was wearing mittens.


how do you blindfold an asian?
-dental floss