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November, 2024

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Newschoolers... Teach me how to piss in public

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Smuffy
Posts: 4686 - Karma: 3,408
NS it has been a lifelong plague for me. I can do all kinds of dumb shit that takes balls, but for the life of me i CANNOT PEE IN PUBLIC! i have no prob whippin out my dick, but the piss just dont come.

i need some techniques cause it is the worst thing ever to have a clotted up bladder when theres no bathroom or woods around. i mean, my stage right goes drastically down the more beer i drink, but it fuggin SUCKS

hellllllp
Aug 22 2011 11:08PM
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hellyeaaaah
Posts: 640 - Karma: 8
Aug 22 2011 11:11PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,488
don't think it can be taught. You will either get over it or it will plague you for the rest of your life.
Aug 22 2011 11:11PM
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MANDER
Posts: 4017 - Karma: 2,038
Come back down to toronto and ill teach you smuff. I peed infront of 50+ people on a subway track last week, drunk of course...
Aug 22 2011 11:13PM
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zagfan5
Posts: 2608 - Karma: 144
get drunk and this wont be a problem anymore.
Aug 22 2011 11:16PM
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crab_pretzel
Posts: 3919 - Karma: 622
haha that instructional vid was so great. so worth my 7 minutes
Aug 22 2011 11:19PM
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AndyBoy
Posts: 122 - Karma: 25
the newspaper tube. haha that was good.
Aug 22 2011 11:37PM
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skiskate
Posts: 787 - Karma: 823
Once while watching a rail jam I dug a little hole in tthe ground and laid down on the snow and pissed in the hole. Dont know if anybody saw me.
Aug 22 2011 11:49PM
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maxwell666
Posts: 554 - Karma: 20
[immaturity]
step 1. find a girl
step 2. locate her butt
step 3. insert
step 4. pee in her butt
there is no step 5, you already peed in her butt what more could you want?
[/immaturity]
Aug 23 2011 12:09AM
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OnePlank
Posts: 1212 - Karma: 60
dude i get this all the time. i call it performance anxiety
Aug 23 2011 12:14AM
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hellyeaaaah
Posts: 640 - Karma: 8
hahahaha that's great
Aug 23 2011 12:20AM
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Ribss.
Posts: 3442 - Karma: 3,344
OP - I had the same issue for a long ass time, it just never comes. what I figured out for me is as long i don't feel like theres someone looking at my back im good, so try and keep your back out of sight and just dont be obvioius about it. unless your drunk then you can pee everywhere.

PS - Dont do too much peeing in public, i almost got arrested and marked as a sex offender for peeing in a parking garage
Aug 23 2011 12:28AM
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colleenator
Posts: 885 - Karma: 60
that sucks.. even i can. drunk or not
Aug 23 2011 12:55AM
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rareison
Posts: 10263 - Karma: 219
Lol.
Aug 23 2011 1:02AM
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Ryan.Street
Posts: 444 - Karma: 20
just think about how cool you will look when you pee in pubic... that should help
Aug 23 2011 1:06AM
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Ryan.Street
Posts: 444 - Karma: 20
just think about how cool you will look when you pee in pubic... that should help
Aug 23 2011 1:06AM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
My friend had the same problem, shy bladder. Just try and take all focus of your junk and surroundings while relaxing your pelvic muscles. Sort of when you might read on the toilet to relax when pooping, but now for pissing. When you feel it coming, let it out on it's own a bit and only then start pissing with power.
Aug 23 2011 1:26AM
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cool_name
Posts: 4295 - Karma: 3,131
slowly count to 5 in your head(seriously it works) nothing when you reach to 5 just count again but makes sure you count nice and slow
Aug 23 2011 2:01AM
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Lt-Aldo-Raine
Posts: 2309 - Karma: 120
Youre a shy pisser, I have the same disease.
Aug 23 2011 2:07AM
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POWDER.RANGER
Posts: 1698 - Karma: -24
step 5 is profit
Aug 23 2011 3:01AM
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Static
Posts: 8561 - Karma: 4,139
just wait until you have to pee really bad then if you can't it's like whatever who gives a shit I guess you didn't have to go so bad after all
Aug 23 2011 3:09AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51744 - Karma: 163,523
The more you think about it the harder it will be. Just go with it and try not to worry.


best of luck
Aug 23 2011 3:11AM
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daskis
Posts: 1828 - Karma: 356
i was about to pee in public tonight says rooomie. come to nova. ok?
Aug 23 2011 3:11AM
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icon1234
Posts: 3081 - Karma: 1,475
I hear if you get caught, you can be charged with public indecency and have to register as a sex offender for the rest of your life... Any truth to that or what?
Aug 23 2011 3:16AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51744 - Karma: 163,523
I think you have to get caught like 3 times. But seriously registering as a sex offender is fucking retarded. Even if you get caught pissing on building at night 50 times, you aren't a fucking rapist
Aug 23 2011 7:48AM
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Hoppy
Posts: 685 - Karma: 95
Doesn't work if anyones stood right next to you, but blowing on it helps.
.................................and by blowing, i mean air coming from your lungs and out of your mouth.
Aug 23 2011 1:11PM
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627

I don't even... 

Aug 23 2011 2:39PM
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tall_t
Posts: 1036 - Karma: 15
KUALITEH THREAD BRAHHHHHHH
Aug 23 2011 7:48PM
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nkmo.
Posts: 3994 - Karma: 285
Nope. Not in UT at least. I have a couple friends who have had to register for peeing in public, and one who had to register for sending a pic of tits to a kid he was coaching for football. All so weak.
Aug 23 2011 8:06PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47

and they piss in the streets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aug 23 2011 8:14PM
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emilyiscool
Posts: 1628 - Karma: 60
what station? and wouldnt it electrocute you?
Aug 23 2011 8:20PM
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nkmo.
Posts: 3994 - Karma: 285
Wow.

The only thing with a charge is the third rail, and you can't piss a solid stream to make contact.

Does no one watch Mythbusters?
Aug 23 2011 8:39PM
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emilyiscool
Posts: 1628 - Karma: 60
i do watch mythbusters, now to go online and find this episode i seem to have missed
Aug 23 2011 8:42PM
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BmoChop
Posts: 2071 - Karma: 96
such a classic episode.
Aug 23 2011 9:17PM
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skiminnesota
Posts: 9093 - Karma: 429
this.

kinda makes me worried. ive peed in a walmart parking lot multiple times in the middle of the night.

just pee right on the ground, obviously use the car for "blockage"

forsure the riskiest place though was on black friday camping out all night, just took a little walk to the far side of the building. hahaha
Aug 23 2011 10:06PM
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crab_pretzel
Posts: 3919 - Karma: 622
its the one where they see if you can shoot a taser charge thru a stream out of a squirt gun
Aug 24 2011 12:02AM
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Cufe.
Posts: 1950 - Karma: 262
I just whip it out, scream "I'M A FIRE TRUCK BITCHES!" and then go "WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!" while swinging my piss stream everywhere.

Click for larger image
Aug 24 2011 12:08AM
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JIBpsy^^
Posts: 2851 - Karma: 36
Eh just add alcohol I took a piss on the main vein of our county rgiht after fourth of july fireworks
regardless probably 50 people saw me piss that night. Also there are some weird picture of my pissing in public on facebook.



























LOL WHAT?

Aug 24 2011 12:09AM
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Totes_Magotes
Posts: 2259 - Karma: 870
Owning up to something.... Pissed in a water bottle at an Atmosphere concert 3 days ago in the middle (front rather) of the large crowd. It was so packed and there was no way I was getting out and back to my kickass spot in the front. So when everybody "put their hands up"... mine went down... with a bottle... and I did the deed, dropped it on the ground, and never looked back. Awesome concert b t dubs
Aug 24 2011 12:12AM
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JIBpsy^^
Posts: 2851 - Karma: 36
At Red Rocks?
Aug 24 2011 12:13AM
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Totes_Magotes
Posts: 2259 - Karma: 870
At The Complex in SLC. Saturday night
Aug 24 2011 12:16AM
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JIBpsy^^
Posts: 2851 - Karma: 36
balls i wanted to go to Red Rocks so bad but they sold out. Also 1800th post. ICe Nipz
Aug 24 2011 12:20AM
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GavinW
Posts: 574 - Karma: 89
my friends and i call it the walk and wiz
Aug 24 2011 1:04AM
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emilyiscool
Posts: 1628 - Karma: 60
just watched it, it was epic
Aug 24 2011 1:13AM
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Davy.Crockett
Posts: 5373 - Karma: 324
its because you have years of blocking that action. all your human instincts say no. you need to get in touch with the animal side. animals piss everywhere.
Aug 24 2011 1:18AM
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MANDER
Posts: 4017 - Karma: 2,038
Lawrence!
Aug 24 2011 2:11AM
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emilyiscool
Posts: 1628 - Karma: 60
i was there today! i dont know wehter thats awesome or just really gross :P
Aug 24 2011 4:43PM
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MANDER
Posts: 4017 - Karma: 2,038
awesome
Aug 24 2011 5:38PM
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CAPITA-DEVOURS
Posts: 1968 - Karma: 4
that how to video was amazing..actually worth my time for once.
Aug 24 2011 5:55PM
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Nufity
Posts: 993 - Karma: 171
t
Aug 24 2011 6:51PM
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