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theabortionator
April, 2025

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What's the stupidest way you've injured yourself?

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bdarb207
Posts: 3057 - Karma: 443
I'm kind of curious and I'm sure there is some funny stories out there. My shining moment was being one of two sophomores to make our varsity soccer team only to break my collar bone doing a bicycle kick in warm ups. Face palm much. ++ k for good ones
14 years ago
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Deluge
Posts: 4402 - Karma: 820
one of my friends broke his collar bone doing a handstand before practice and he was on line to fo to nationals for cross country
-ive broke my thumb sledding into a cinder block
-broke my nose because a girl at a rave elbowed me in the face
14 years ago
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midwestpowhunter
Posts: 2198 - Karma: 189
In music class in the fifth grade we had to do this scavenger hunt thing and one of the things we had to do was stab a piece of paper with a pencil a certain number of times. Being smart I sat down, put the paper on my knee and stabbed. I still have a graphite tatoo on my thing right above my knee......
14 years ago
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Crispy.
Posts: 6124 - Karma: 7,745
Broke the growth plate in my left pinky while playing basketball on one of those little kid plastic Fisher Price basketball hoops. I was trying to toss is off the backboard and then dunk but it went right between the ring finger and pinky and just completely broke my growth plate
14 years ago
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Slizger
Posts: 128 - Karma: 11
No idea how but I got my ski stuck in between the other skis bindings right in the middle of the boot and the ski. Hurt like a bitch
14 years ago
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.squirrely.
Posts: 7563 - Karma: 7,546
i tried to switch 9 chads gap and i broke my ankles




































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14 years ago
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remove
Posts: 2566 - Karma: 1,026
tried to clear a fence on a trampoline drunk and broke my arm. awesome shit
14 years ago
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Jimmy.
Posts: 2888 - Karma: 27
haven't read these but mine is pretty bad.

i threw a lax ball at the ground really hard and it came up and hit me in the face fracturing my jaw, breaking two teeth which i'm getting implants for next month and chipping another tooth. this happedned like two years ago and i still have to deal with it.
14 years ago
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Raz.
Posts: 7456 - Karma: 1,611
this is fun!
14 years ago
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bdarb207
Posts: 3057 - Karma: 443
Why thank you.
14 years ago
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Cufe.
Posts: 1950 - Karma: 262
mountain biking.
I had spent the past 3 days in the Whistler Bike Park, hit a few goals for the week (no dabs on crack addict, clean full run of upper whistler DH to lower joyride to 4X, ect..) anyway, after that I decided to go dirt jumping the next day, nothing crazy, just some jumps in a friends back yard.
Near the end of the day I decided to go back to the big ramp to hit some bigger jumps. I get to the top of the ramp, clip my pedal while im rolling in. Flip over the bars fall 20 ft onto my head. leads to 3 fractured vertebrae, lacerated liver, lacerated kidney, concussion, torn muscles all through my back, and I brused half my face (Through my full face helmet) Also I nearly split my helmet in half.

After I woke up on the ground with all my friends telling me they thought i died I told them "Its okay, im dreaming. Just let me walk this off" I walked 20 feet and lay back down. 2 mins later the ambulance arrived.

TL;DR: Best week of riding in my life, clip pedal on steep ramp, break my everything. walk it off.
14 years ago
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Benseleit
Posts: 357 - Karma: 159

this wins.

i backflipped on a minitramp and landed on my shins on the metal frame, 4 puncture wounds 8 stitches on each leg

14 years ago
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Benseleit
Posts: 357 - Karma: 159
ooo and i was walking into school, scoping out a rail to my right and walked directly into a cement pillar. 4 stitches above my  left eye
14 years ago
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buddychaps
Posts: 1817 - Karma: 584
my 17 year old cousin broke his back golfing
14 years ago
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O-A_s
Posts: 373 - Karma: 58
Last summer I was trying a nollie 270 off a rail on a summer setup, and somehow I managed to slice my thumb with my edge resulting in a few stitches and fucked up nerves. From now on I always wear gloves...
14 years ago
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Benseleit
Posts: 357 - Karma: 159
hey at least you know your edges are in prime conditions
14 years ago
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B.Aussie
Posts: 5852 - Karma: 4,531
Tried to do a 540 on flats in my 183 GS skis whilst going along. Made it to 500 and partially tore my lateral ligament haha
14 years ago
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Raz.
Posts: 7456 - Karma: 1,611
I have mannyyyyyy stories with unluck injuries. my favorite is biking down a hill and waving too my neighbors; then proceeding hit there mailbox, sending it flying into their yard 20 feet. that was time #3 I cracked my head open
14 years ago
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[evan]
Posts: 5628 - Karma: 117
I was trimming my pubes and cut my dick.















































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14 years ago
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.frenchy
Posts: 18231 - Karma: 12,398
....BUT WHAT PUBES? TROLOLO
14 years ago
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Raz.
Posts: 7456 - Karma: 1,611
day=made
14 years ago
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eljusto.
Posts: 2163 - Karma: 457
oh god so funny. But yeah Evan you've got a few more years.
14 years ago
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Jaimee.
Posts: 846 - Karma: 87
Jumping off my roof with an umbrella like Mary Poppins. When that didn't work I upgraded to a higher roof and a garbage bag, which resulted in a sprained ankle and a sore face.
14 years ago
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
i was taking a barefoot (waterski) run and hit a water logged 2x4 resulting in a shattered heel. that sucked.
14 years ago
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[evan]
Posts: 5628 - Karma: 117
nah man, i just looked, and theyre definatly there. N/H
14 years ago
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.frenchy
Posts: 18231 - Karma: 12,398

Its a mirage.

bitch

lol

.

14 years ago
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Dan-Man
Posts: 7488 - Karma: 3,630
skiing, or getting closelined by a chain...
14 years ago
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ChucklesNorman.
Posts: 1197 - Karma: 706
Cam here to post this.
14 years ago
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esotericjive
Posts: 1889 - Karma: 1,445
One time, I was extreme pogo-sticking, and my neighbors dog came running at me, and I fell. Broken wrist. It was sick, 'cause when people asked how I broke it, I could say, "Yeah, I fell extreme pogo-sticking, NBD."

14 years ago
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bnewbs6
Posts: 1919 - Karma: 1,463
Broke my toe. Falling off a curb. Needed surgery 6 months later.
14 years ago
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G_Hundo
Posts: 104 - Karma: 50
i was on a rail 4 years ago and started falling back so i leaned forward and landed on the rail with my shin and broke
14 years ago
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G_Hundo
Posts: 104 - Karma: 50
^it
14 years ago
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jewFro
Posts: 562 - Karma: 24
I know a guy who tore his dick playing drunken softball.
14 years ago
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bfulmer
Posts: 3053 - Karma: 1,975
that sucks :( did you over shoot it or something?
14 years ago
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A.Eberhard
Posts: 4426 - Karma: 415
Jumped off a shed probably like 8 ft tall and fell over and hit my thigh on a wheelbarrow that was parked on the lawn. Got a nice big bruise and it is still discolored a bit to this day.
14 years ago
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SlimDunkin.
Posts: 2065 - Karma: 361
I beat fucking all of you. If you have any contact with me you know that I dont have a front tooth due to the fact that when I was 9-10 ish I had to shit so bad and was Prairie dogging and I was sprinting to the toilet and fell and knocked out one of my adult teeth on the seat. I also didnt manage to make it and shit my pants... I was in school.
14 years ago
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las.
Posts: 1959 - Karma: 1,455
lol
14 years ago
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james6345789
Posts: 4763 - Karma: 464
oh, and i shot a lacrosse ball from under my deck sidearm, i shot too high, and it hit the part that hangs down, and it bounced and hit me in the nose. i bled so much. luckily it wasn't broken
14 years ago
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Low.End
Posts: 556 - Karma: 21
when i was 4 and a half I decided to pretend to be rudolph the red-nose reindeer (it was near christmas time). part of this included the plan of jumping off of my couch pretending to be pulling santa's sleigh. i slipped climbing up the couch and broke my elbow. yeahhhhh my family still gives me shit for that one.
14 years ago
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SKIER_666
Posts: 710 - Karma: 173
raining out hanging on a basketball rim slipped off landed wrong broke all of my fingers on my right hand
14 years ago
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Wesley.P
Posts: 1376 - Karma: 89
winner.
14 years ago
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15098 - Karma: 9,330
Well, just today I was trying a toeside standup slide on my longboard. I somehow lost one foot, and kept the other on the board. I ended up doing a split, getting some solid road rash on my heel (my shoe got scraped off first) and pulling my groin. Feelsbadman.
14 years ago
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
I slipped getting out of the shower today, tried to save it, and tweaked the fuck out of my neck. Now I can't look to the left without getting shooting pain. Fuck.
14 years ago
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
this is incredible. i feel awful for you, but that is a hilarious story
14 years ago
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LeBro0
Posts: 154 - Karma: 87
This summer i cut through the closed windells park and went over the bag jump thinking i would catch tranny pon the other side. Turns out it was a 15 shear wall to flat. landed directly on my face and broke my hand.
14 years ago
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kenzieann
Posts: 1535 - Karma: 391
uh i rode a razor scooter off a curb and ate shit into a parked car then fell off onto the ground and broke 3 fingers...

i also broke my collarbone getting pushed over from 4ft...

and.... i was manualing down a hill on my skateboard when i was like 15 and hit a sewer grate and ended up blacking out and ending up in the hospital.

pretty much everytime i hurt myself is stupid though.
14 years ago
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