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Self Surgery

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Leafman
Posts: 2178 - Karma: 251
Anybody ever do a little self surgery? I ripped a few screws out of my collarbone a few millimeters. I'm thinking about re-torquing these puppies myself, or with someone I trust. I need to do it soon though before new bone starts forming around it.

The whole operation seems pretty straight forward. Make an incision along my scar, open everything up, torque down the screws to manufactures specifications and sew my skin back up together. I don't feel pain so I don't need any anesthesia or morphine, just a lot of disinfectant and antibiotics. Seems like a no brainer to me.

A scalpel, disinfectant and screwdriver/allen key is much cheaper then surgery. It would also be pretty sweet to say you preformed surgery on yourself to.
Aug 11 2011 10:54PM
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Blindsurfer
Posts: 2252 - Karma: 2,791
something was said above about using correct grammar if you're insulting someone. Also just please fuck off emilyiscool, you just go around being a giant attention whore and making yourself look stupid, which you most probably are.
Aug 11 2011 11:52PM
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*simba*
Posts: 9125 - Karma: 512
OHHHHHHHHH SHIT


WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IS THIS REAL LIFE
Aug 11 2011 11:52PM
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Funkadelic
Posts: 1967 - Karma: 391
How is this even a question. Definitely do it, no worries.
Aug 11 2011 11:54PM
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CAPITA-DEVOURS
Posts: 1968 - Karma: 4
nuff said
Aug 11 2011 11:55PM
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HermioneGranger
Posts: 1933 - Karma: 101
Plus, he's an MD.
Aug 11 2011 11:59PM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
Listen to this when you do the surgery

Aug 12 2011 12:03AM
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charmander
Posts: 10636 - Karma: 370
And, bone infection could easily end up being fatal.

bad call.
Aug 12 2011 12:04AM
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Obi-Wan-Jenobi
Posts: 951 - Karma: 119
Whoooooooaaaaaaaaaa, STOP! Lets think about this.
Aug 12 2011 12:26AM
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Seth.S
Posts: 630 - Karma: 1,631
Do it, you won't.
Aug 12 2011 12:30AM
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JIBpsy^^
Posts: 2851 - Karma: 36
Wait you are gonna build a sterile room and risk major infection just to save a trip to the doctor?

Aug 12 2011 12:40AM
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Leafman
Posts: 2178 - Karma: 251
Surgeries cost a lot of money, my insurance company wont cover this one
Aug 12 2011 12:42AM
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ski-swagga
Posts: 5276 - Karma: 219
i have scoliosis. i just have to be smarter about where im landing and im fine.
Aug 12 2011 12:49AM
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Brock.
Posts: 5698 - Karma: 1,332
This thread is a new level of insanity.
Aug 12 2011 12:49AM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
I saw you posted and came in to quote you because I loved your old icon
Aug 12 2011 12:50AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51643 - Karma: 162,232
^
Aug 12 2011 12:53AM
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Thick.Black.Gurl
Posts: 492 - Karma: 28
Everyone is a pussy, do it!!! What's the worst that could happen :D you sound cool and you did quite a bit of research, go for it!
Aug 12 2011 1:00AM
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tripnip
Posts: 1882 - Karma: 482
well once i cut into my skin to retreive a bb that my friend shot me with.
but you fried are fucking crazy and i understand about the pain thing
my friend cant feel pain

Aug 12 2011 1:00AM
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.Ian.
Posts: 1568 - Karma: 72
I know what you mean about surgery being a lot of money. It seems like you'd take all the right precautions it's just a sketchy situation to begin with. If your confident I say go for it, and the best of luck to you.
Aug 12 2011 1:14AM
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RubberSoul
Posts: 11249 - Karma: 14,642
you're not gonna not click on a thread called "self surgery"

anyway, if youre serious, i dont think it's too good of an idea? what do you mean by can't feel pain? even if that was true that doesnt make it a good idea

that being said, film it if you do it
Aug 12 2011 1:14AM
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wait.what
Posts: 1694 - Karma: 529
Put video on bestgore.com then give me linkage.
Aug 12 2011 1:22AM
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1337
Posts: 31054 - Karma: 29,234
i see this going well....
Aug 12 2011 1:22AM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
*some more things i thought of:

exfoliate, and shave the incision site(even if you dont think there is any hair there)

wear a bandana/surgical mask around your mouth to eliminate your breath or spittle causing infection.

cover butterfly bandages with steril gauze pads and tape immediately after youre done.






And lastly, why am i the only one who is offering helpful advice? Its hard to believe that i am the only one who wants to see this done...




Aug 12 2011 1:26AM
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Leafman
Posts: 2178 - Karma: 251
Yeah thanks for offering legit help, come to Washington and I might let you operate on me.

And I'm gonna mimic exactly what my surgeon did to cover the incision.
Aug 12 2011 1:30AM
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,860
you're an idiot for even considering it and it probably will end up going horribly wrong, but you should still do it.

and record it
Aug 12 2011 1:33AM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
haha funny you should say that...actually going up on monday to go backpacking in the Olympics with a bunch of bros from college. Im available for a small fee- mainly craft beer and crown royale...

let me know and i might be able to fit you in my busy schedule.
Aug 12 2011 1:35AM
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Inline.
Posts: 4424 - Karma: 432
Wear a gopro
Aug 12 2011 1:35AM
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jahmin44
Posts: 638 - Karma: 37
I cant believe people are actually taking this thread seriously...its fucking ridiculous
Aug 12 2011 1:37AM
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Leafman
Posts: 2178 - Karma: 251
Maybe I'll take you up on it
Aug 12 2011 1:37AM
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bigbromskier
Posts: 1175 - Karma: 330
I mean, they only started doing extensively sterilized surgeries like 100 years ago or so, and like, there was only an exponential growth in population starting like 100 years ago or so, so like, you should totally do it, there's no way people died all the time cause there was no 100% sterilization.

At this point all you need is a knife, a screwdriver, a cork, some whiskey, and some butterfly bandages to package yourself back together afterward! like the good ol' civil war days.

to quote above: do it, you won't. maybe bleach will help, too, I heard it kills germs n stuff
Aug 12 2011 1:37AM
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jkauffman22
Posts: 2592 - Karma: 1,150
I wanna see this. Do it. If it does go badly just go to the ER
Aug 12 2011 1:39AM
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
Post x-rays and pictures, I need more details.
Aug 12 2011 1:40AM
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_Jeffrey_
Posts: 1651 - Karma: 572
sounds pretty retarded to me. but if you can really pull it off you will save a fuckload of money.
Aug 12 2011 1:40AM
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wait.what
Posts: 1694 - Karma: 529
and people wonder "What's wrong with the States?"
Aug 12 2011 1:42AM
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corona
Posts: 12795 - Karma: 32,750
well I don;t want to say it's a bad idea. it just might not be very well thought through. but I will offer a bit of advice:

1- I don't care how little pain you feel, even if you don't feel the initial cut you WILL feel it when you tighten the screws. I was awake and perfectly alert when getting 6 screws and a plate removed from my collar bone. The cutting is all peachy, but as soon as those screws are turned it's such a horrible deep-seated pain that goes right through you. No pain treatment is just dumb.

2- make sure you know what you're doing to prevent infection. some basic info for you; there are both gram positive and gram negative bacteria and they cover a vast spectrum that no individual disinfectant will cover. For instance isopropal doesn't work against most gram negative I think.  The best disinfectant hands down is iodine. But a combination is ideal. For instance using chlorhexidine and iodine would be good. not just cleaning the area, but cleaning you tools and being in an incredibly sanitary environment is critical. the very last think you want is an infection.

3- whoever is sewing you back up, be it yourself or whoever, make sure they know what they're doing. have the, practice with meat or something.

4- bandaging is key for if you've followed through. Make sure to have proper bandaging. I'd recommend a simple gauze dressing with topical antibiotic followed by some padding/absorbent layer and topped off by hypafix. You absolutely do not want an infection.

5- look up a detailed anatomy of the shoulder. things can go wrong. easily. even if you've been cutting people open your whole life.


here's my shoulder after things DID go wrong in I think the exact surgery you're planning. and this was done by a 'professional'. this is what one would call a hematome.

Click for larger image


good luck if you follow through
Aug 12 2011 1:46AM
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Leafman
Posts: 2178 - Karma: 251
Holy fuck giraffes, this is my worst fear, that is why I'm nervous

And to medium thug you should ask yourself what the fuck is wrong with insurance companies, those assholes will take every dollar from you, they don't care about anything and will fuck you over just to get some money.

And Rowen
Click for larger image

It's the four screws on the left
Aug 12 2011 1:54AM
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corona
Posts: 12795 - Karma: 32,750
have you ever thought to just take the whole thing out? how long ago was it put in? if the bone is definitely healed I'd get the whole plate taken out and never have to worry about it again. although I'd highly suggest at least going to the vet for that.
Aug 12 2011 1:57AM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
This is a bit like the Chad's Gap thread.

Someone asks for advice on a controversial subject, most say you "just can't do that", others are helpful but cautious, some point out that only professionals should do it and how it's impossible and tell him to go ahead and get yourself killed.


All this thread needs now is Marc Frank Montoya and dozens of pages.
Aug 12 2011 1:58AM
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Leafman
Posts: 2178 - Karma: 251
Well I'm supposed to keep it in for life, and yeah there's no way I'm taking it out myself, I just want to get in there and give those left screws 2 or 3 good turns and close it all up.
Aug 12 2011 1:59AM
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lineskier10
Posts: 11339 - Karma: 796
this is a fucking awful idea and any retard on here acting like they know what they are talking about is full of shit
Aug 12 2011 2:03AM
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.Apex.
Posts: 2097 - Karma: 1,556
oh canada
Aug 12 2011 2:04AM
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.Apex.
Posts: 2097 - Karma: 1,556
oh canada
Aug 12 2011 2:04AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51643 - Karma: 162,232
Don't forget to shoot up some heroin to numb the pain
Aug 12 2011 2:06AM
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da435
Posts: 1181 - Karma: 358
this thread is gold.
Aug 12 2011 2:06AM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
bahahaha
Aug 12 2011 2:08AM
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corona
Posts: 12795 - Karma: 32,750
get it out. seriously. I had the exact same thing as you. It was in there for a year and a half and I got it taken out. Think, if you're already having problems with it so soon you're almost certainly going to have problems later in life. you don't want that in you for 60+ years. Bite the bullet and go to a hospital and get it out completely once the bone is healed. you'll never have to worry about it again and it feels so much nice to not have it in.
Aug 12 2011 2:12AM
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Funkadelic
Posts: 1967 - Karma: 391
What's wrong with keeping it in for life? I have two screws in my knee cap for life, it's all good.
Aug 12 2011 2:17AM
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Funkadelic
Posts: 1967 - Karma: 391
My bad, I misread the op. Disregard.
Aug 12 2011 2:18AM
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
I seriously dont think those are going to tighten, they're just going to spin. If you did pull those out and they are loose, you've stripped out the threads. I was thinking you could perhaps countersink the bone and try and get those to seat a bit deeper into new material, but those are through the bone... if they've pulled, you need the bone completely redrilled and rethreaded, and new hardware.


Shit city dude. Either pull out the screws and try to immobilize the bone and hope it heals correctly, or get these professionally reseated.
Aug 12 2011 2:31AM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
I'm a little drunk, and didn't read any of the thread (saw the pics of the other guy, awesome!)


...but OP, don't do it. Odds are you don't know jack shit about what you're doing, and it would be well worth your time and money to go see a real doc. Don't be a fucking idiot, and don't listen to what the kids on NS will tell you.



Except me, I guess...


Herp?



Aug 12 2011 2:32AM
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