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Self Surgery

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Leafman
Posts: 2178 - Karma: 251
Anybody ever do a little self surgery? I ripped a few screws out of my collarbone a few millimeters. I'm thinking about re-torquing these puppies myself, or with someone I trust. I need to do it soon though before new bone starts forming around it.

The whole operation seems pretty straight forward. Make an incision along my scar, open everything up, torque down the screws to manufactures specifications and sew my skin back up together. I don't feel pain so I don't need any anesthesia or morphine, just a lot of disinfectant and antibiotics. Seems like a no brainer to me.

A scalpel, disinfectant and screwdriver/allen key is much cheaper then surgery. It would also be pretty sweet to say you preformed surgery on yourself to.
Aug 11 2011 10:54PM
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esotericjive
Posts: 1889 - Karma: 1,445
Less sweet then telling everyone how you got tetanus.
Aug 11 2011 10:56PM
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I.B
Posts: 8137 - Karma: 24,351
wait, what is this fuckery?
Aug 11 2011 10:57PM
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Leafman
Posts: 2178 - Karma: 251
I'm vaccinated
Aug 11 2011 10:58PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,484
can't tell if serious
Aug 11 2011 10:58PM
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No_Dub
Posts: 3357 - Karma: 294
i dont even
Aug 11 2011 10:59PM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
I have.

I had plantar warts, pretty bad ones.

I had the liquid nitrogen freeze treatment from the doctors 3 times, used various ointments and creams and rubbed away with a pumice stone. I tried at home freeze and everything. Then one day I cut my foot with some scissors, a knife, and some other tools. There was a lot of blood. After all of this and about 4 months, a surgeon then performed surgery. The one wart went up in my foot about 1.5-2 inches, and the other two went up about .5-.75 inches. I didn't cut deep enough when I did my own surgery, or else I would have had it he said haha
Aug 11 2011 10:59PM
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marley-skis
Posts: 794 - Karma: 330
When i got my collar bone screws surgically removed, it hurt a whole fucking lot, and that was after it was all sewed up. I would not recommend doing that. Also you will have a hell of an ugly scar if you do it yourself. Honestly you sound like an idiot. Go to a doctor
Aug 11 2011 11:00PM
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Bar_Down
Posts: 5896 - Karma: 395
ahahaha what the fuck bro
Aug 11 2011 11:00PM
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*simba*
Posts: 9125 - Karma: 512
House couldn't even do it and he's on fucking TV
Aug 11 2011 11:00PM
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KevinK.
Posts: 564 - Karma: 209
idk it kinda seems just a lil bit sketchy. Make a video and post it if you do!
Aug 11 2011 11:01PM
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marley-skis
Posts: 794 - Karma: 330
.

Aug 11 2011 11:01PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37350 - Karma: 119,538
Pics or it didn't happen.
Aug 11 2011 11:01PM
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ejm
Posts: 794 - Karma: 196

just dont strip the screws

Aug 11 2011 11:02PM
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Proletariat.
Posts: 1797 - Karma: 45
What is this I dont even...
Aug 11 2011 11:05PM
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Blindsurfer
Posts: 2252 - Karma: 2,790
dude self surgery is easy, I gave myself a third nut just for fun one time. But in all seriousness, just go to a surgeon, it's free...in Canada
Aug 11 2011 11:06PM
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Panda_with_Guns
Posts: 3040 - Karma: 1,620
i can just see someone trying to put a skrew in there neck . the angle is fucked how would you even see? besides that, it is a dipshit idea.
Aug 11 2011 11:08PM
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theline
Posts: 1507 - Karma: 92
oh absolutely dude, that sounds like a flawless plan. a real no brainer.
just take a ton of pictures.
Aug 11 2011 11:09PM
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kamron_708
Posts: 944 - Karma: 1,129
Lol I performed surgery on a chick. Peed in her butt instead of giving her a lollipop
Aug 11 2011 11:11PM
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Leafman
Posts: 2178 - Karma: 251
Everybody likes to think they have a really high pain tolerance, but I literally don't feel pain, there's something with my scoliosis that's linked to it. When I first snapped it, it didn't hurt and hasn't hurt at all since. I wanted to do the surgery awake with no anesthesia or pain killers but the surgeon would't let me to keep my heart rate down. Well he didn't give me any pain killers which was nice. And all the people saying this is bull shit, it isn't.
Aug 11 2011 11:13PM
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Brock.
Posts: 5698 - Karma: 1,332
Just make sure to record the operation on video and post it here when you are done.
Aug 11 2011 11:14PM
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jahmin44
Posts: 638 - Karma: 37
that just makes it even more dangerous. you could fuck something up and not feel it.
Aug 11 2011 11:17PM
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S.C
Posts: 3068 - Karma: 2,285
this haha
Aug 11 2011 11:19PM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
amazing post
Aug 11 2011 11:20PM
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Blindsurfer
Posts: 2252 - Karma: 2,790
freestyle skier with degenerative back problem? I'm so sure
Aug 11 2011 11:21PM
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Proletariat.
Posts: 1797 - Karma: 45
No, just Lupus
Aug 11 2011 11:22PM
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emilyiscool
Posts: 1628 - Karma: 60
golden wheelchair?

natural selection at its finest your an idiot
Aug 11 2011 11:23PM
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SeanTom
Posts: 7936 - Karma: 1,747
http://www.hulu.com/watch/242076/house-after-hours

one of the most relevant things i've ever posted
Aug 11 2011 11:25PM
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SeanTom
Posts: 7936 - Karma: 1,747
WHAT THE FUCK IT'S NOT THE WHOLE VIDEO
Aug 11 2011 11:26PM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
In all honesty its not a horrible idea. Wash the incision area really, really well, then rub it with alcohol swabs. take a box cutter and put it over a flame(not till it turns black), then rub it with an alcohol swab.

Hell just have a bowl of rubbing alcohol and have all the utensils sitting in it.

cut the skin, use disinfected hand to hold cut open, and use disenfected screwdriver to screw in screw. then use butterfly bandages to hold the wound together(will look better than a mcguivered stitch job).


1) make sure you know what kind of screwdriver you need, and size.

2) have everything, especially the butterfly bandages, and surgery utensils all layed out and ready to go.

3) do a dry run before hand, down to the smallest detail to make sure you think of everything before the procedure.

4) have a friend there to help out if need be...and take pictures


the worst that happens is you leave a gnarly scar, and have a good story. If the wound starts turning red at all, immediatly go see your doc because its infected.


good luck, and remeber to post pics

Aug 11 2011 11:27PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,484
*you're

If you insult someone you better at least use correct grammar, now you look like the idiot.
Aug 11 2011 11:27PM
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p-fo
Posts: 9372 - Karma: 6,155
This.
Aug 11 2011 11:27PM
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bigbromskier
Posts: 1175 - Karma: 330
an normal infection is bad but there's nothing worse than an infection in your bone.

my buddy punched some kid and broke his wrist and somehow the bone got infected. well he ended up having to have surgery on it and had to have an iv that he carried around with him 24/7 for two weeks or something.

go for it
Aug 11 2011 11:29PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51582 - Karma: 161,673
^

I also wish this wasn't nans. It'd be sweet to see the epic fail outcome
Aug 11 2011 11:34PM
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.spaghetticat.
Posts: 4283 - Karma: 890
hi rusty
Aug 11 2011 11:35PM
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
Your biggest risk is infection. Even with betadine, a gas sterilizer for your tools and antibiotic course afterwards, I'll bet you first dibs on a Grace Lakes lap on a pow day it'll still get infected. Worse, since you have screws running through your collarbone (I think at least... a full work up of what happened and what was done, including x-rays, would be nice), the infection could travel into your bone easily, and that would really, really, really suck.

Past that, knowing the right torque for the screws will be difficult. I have no idea where you would find out that information, even if you did find a way to measure the torque with a tool that small enough to be completely sterilized. For all we know, you could have stripped the threads, and just like a bad binding mount, you might discover that they just spin when you try to tighten them. The only recourse would be to redrill and rethread the holes with a larger diameter screw, and I doubt you have access to the hardware, bits and taps for this operation. Besides, even if this was all completely sterilized, it would still be your friend manning the drill, and if he overdoes it, you're fucked.

Considering all of the risks involved, I would likely see a doctor, even if I was completely anti-insurance industry and could not feel pain. Let me tell you though, bone pain is no fucking fun.
Aug 11 2011 11:36PM
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Heinzler
Posts: 1931 - Karma: 125
.
Aug 11 2011 11:37PM
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Leafman
Posts: 2178 - Karma: 251
Definitely an essential part of home surgery

This is what I was looking for, thank you

People are dumb, I have though everything out and I'm gonna build an enclosed sterilized room if I do do this. I'm not gonna cut open my skin with a chainsaw and get a bunch of shit in the wound. Somebody said that bones can get infected pretty easily, and my bone is already healed so i'm not concerned about that. Infection is the thing I'm most worried about and I will take the best precaution I can to avoid it. I just need to find someone I trust enough to do this to me.
Aug 11 2011 11:37PM
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PON3
Posts: 3817 - Karma: 783
da fuck? im sorry i cant come up with any thing to comprehend that. sorry i failed.
Aug 11 2011 11:38PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
best of luck, video couldnt hurt
Aug 11 2011 11:38PM
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Leafman
Posts: 2178 - Karma: 251
If if gets that complicated I'm going to go to a doctor, and no power tools will be involved. All my drills are covered with shit and that's a recipe for infection since I don't think I could disinfected it all.
Aug 11 2011 11:40PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51582 - Karma: 161,673
Hello
Aug 11 2011 11:40PM
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Davin
Posts: 669 - Karma: 354
hahaha i had a couple little ones. i used some cream, it worked a little but would take too long so i broke out the knife and went to work. Cut a shitload and used nail clippers too. Shit hurt but a week later it was fine. Went back to the doctors and he was like oh i see the cream worked well i was like naaah knife worked the best.
Aug 11 2011 11:42PM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
I used nail clippers too!!!

Haha, and I tried cutting out the one that went up 1.5 inches. He said had I tried cutting the others I would have gotten them. I dug up about 1 inch in my foot. Hurt so bad haha
Aug 11 2011 11:46PM
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Felix..TG
Posts: 425 - Karma: 273
God bless, I live in Canada...
Aug 11 2011 11:47PM
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jibnut
Posts: 3038 - Karma: 304
How about you go back to your home on whore island?
Aug 11 2011 11:49PM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
not at all equal, but OP asked who else has done self surgery, so i said i have.

My point to be made was it didn't help, it almost did, and mine was very small surgery.
Aug 11 2011 11:49PM
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Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,404
this sounds like a great way to get an infection and die
Aug 11 2011 11:49PM
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*simba*
Posts: 9125 - Karma: 512
ohhhhhhhh shit
Aug 11 2011 11:50PM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
IS that next to Penn Island?
Aug 11 2011 11:50PM
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jibnut
Posts: 3038 - Karma: 304
ecstasy sounds like a great way to get holes in your brain and die
Aug 11 2011 11:51PM
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