Joe Democrat wakes up at 6am. He gets in the shower but it takes forever to wash the natural soap out of his hair because he refuses to buy shampoo made with chemicals from "evil" profit-seeking corporations. He lives in the Los Angeles area so his water is still shitty. Joe's house is powered by solar panels which were heavily subsidized by the government because they're actually way more expensive than traditional energy production.
Joe believes he is helping the environment by driving an electric car. He is completely oblivious to the fact that he is simply transferring the externalites. The process required to mine lithium for the battery is one of the most environmentally destructive ever. Even if Joe did know this, he wouldn't care because driving his car isn't actually about helping the environment, its about promoting an image. On the way to work a jack-ass Republican in his Mercedes cuts Joe off. Everyone who makes over $250,000 needs to have their taxes jacked up, he muses. They don't need that money anyway. It could be better used to pay for someone else's retirement or subsidize high speed rail. Someone who makes $250,000 is clearly ultra-rich, regardless of their situation.
Joe stops at a quickie-mart to pick up a news paper. All of the sudden some Crips bust in and demand his wallet. The legal-immigrant behind the counter who applied for a visa and waited years to be selected in the lottery and feels undermined by all the illegal immigrants, pulls out a Remington pump-action shot gun and tells the criminals to get out or he's gonna turn em' into swiss cheese. The criminals flee and Joe woefully thanks the store clerk.
Once at work, Joe's building isn't bombed by Osama bin Laden's terrorist organization because of Seal Team 6 and the military's fucking massive R&D budget....
I'm tired of writing this but you get the point.
