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Touchy situation

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GSPhotography
Posts: 838 - Karma: 1,373
So, in all seriousness rite now i really dont know what to do:
Here is the situation:
Me and my older sister who is 23 dont get along very well, but its not the regular sister hating each other thing. We really dont talk to each other because since she was a little girl she had been stealing stuff from me and that is still happening rite now but with much more valuable items.
She also is a compulsive liar, and that really makes me sad because she is blowing up her life really hard rite now.
I went through her stuff on my way back from hood , and of course she had a few pieces of clothing in her room ( regular sister problem ) but I found a letter from her school.
I know its really bad to look into peoples stuff, and I dont feel rite about it, but that letter said that she has not been showing up to school and therefor failed all her classes and was expelled. She also has not passed any class since her first semester....
I was kinda choked since my parents have been paying for her studies and also her apartment.

But i questioned my mom about it and i wasnt surprise to find out that she had lied to them, in fact she told them she only had a few more exams to do to graduate.

I feel very bad for my mom because shes spending all this money on her and i feel like I should tell her but at the same time, both of them will get really mad at me if they found out i went in her room and went through her stuff....


What would you do, its really touchy ...

Aug 1 2011 10:21PM
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cultrara
Posts: 5147 - Karma: 46,849
sounds like you are having a hard time... rite now
Aug 1 2011 10:22PM
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Jabe
Posts: 567 - Karma: 240
uhh i dont know talk to her one on one about it.
Aug 1 2011 10:23PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
Definitely tell your mom. Your sister has obviously not learned her lesson yet and no matter how mad she will get, this will be good for her. Another penny spent on her is a waste so do it ASAP.
Aug 1 2011 10:24PM
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GSPhotography
Posts: 838 - Karma: 1,373
I though about leaving the letter on the kitchen counter for my mom to find. But I am not looking forward to my moms reaction.... shes gonna be so sad
Aug 1 2011 10:24PM
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TheHamburglar
Posts: 3895 - Karma: 3,317
instigate, and show parents the letter?
Aug 1 2011 10:26PM
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Park_Ranger
Posts: 3825 - Karma: 8,635
fuck that. tell your mom
Aug 1 2011 10:26PM
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beowulf
Posts: 893 - Karma: 164
She's going to have to find out sometime. It's better your rents find out now from you rather than later from some other person or incident.
Aug 1 2011 10:27PM
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Scott0_robot0
Posts: 3291 - Karma: 212
your parents need to know this. especially with the money they are putting out, thats kinda messed up but whatevs. and just talk to her about it and see what she says.
Aug 1 2011 10:27PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
Yes, I know why this seems really hard because of your mom, but the quicker you do it, the quicker she will stop spending money on your sister. It will be good for both of them. I wouldn't doubt it if your mom makes your sister pay her back, but I do not know your family as well as you do. Anyway, good luck! Hope all goes well.
Aug 1 2011 10:27PM
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GSPhotography
Posts: 838 - Karma: 1,373
My sister has done some really bad stuff in the last 2 years, shes far from being close to paying, Its messed up, I wanna kick her ass so bad. She has to stop ruining her life like that. As if my parents would never find out
Aug 1 2011 10:28PM
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GSPhotography
Posts: 838 - Karma: 1,373
My sister has done some really bad stuff in the last 2 years, shes far from being close to paying, Its messed up, I wanna kick her ass so bad. She has to stop ruining her life like that. As if my parents would never find out
Aug 1 2011 10:28PM
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Oldmann1584
Posts: 1399 - Karma: 95
dude tell your mom, she shouldnt have to go through that
Aug 1 2011 10:29PM
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bromigo
Posts: 630 - Karma: 20
defiantly tell your mom, shes going to get nowhere.
Aug 1 2011 10:29PM
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GSPhotography
Posts: 838 - Karma: 1,373
She already is going to be so sad.... You cant even imagine. So much fucking drama coming my way again
Aug 1 2011 10:30PM
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240sxKid
Posts: 733 - Karma: 3
Great post, A+

But in all seriousness, Theres not much we can tell you. My moms boyfriends 26 year old son has stolen thousands of dollars worth of stuff from their family and im living there right now. and its big stuff like xbox's and tv's. He even stole a booklet with all the states quarters from his 11 year old BROTHER. the brother is still really good friends with him too even though they both know about it. I want to beat the shit out of this guy and tell my moms boyfriend he needs to do something but i cant because ive never had a kid and i dont know what it feels like. and hes using that privilege to steal more. I have to keep my damn T2i in a fucking safe so he wont steal it. shits super gay. my point is, NS cant tell you much about your sister or the things you should do because we dont know your family. but Its a good thing youre telling someone so its not dwelling inside of you.
Aug 1 2011 10:30PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
Ahh, I see. Sorry to post-whore, but maybe it would be best if your sister moved back in with you guys for a while until she gets back on her feet? I don't know, but it would seem helpful. That way, you can keep a better eye on her.
Aug 1 2011 10:30PM
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beowulf
Posts: 893 - Karma: 164
It sounds like your parents don't know anything about the life she's living which is a major problem. In a twisted sort of way it sounds as if she is being rewarded for her mistakes. As in, she's messing up in life but due to your parents being unaware she's still receiving money. As hard as it may be the best thing in this situation is to try to sit your whole family down, including her, and have a talk about this.
Aug 1 2011 10:32PM
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GSPhotography
Posts: 838 - Karma: 1,373
Anybody who has even been to my house while she was there know how much its a nightmare when she comes here. Shes the reason why i moved out at 16. The thing is, she went to this private girl school until she graduated and never experienced what a teenager was until she turned 19. I was more of the trouble maker , so I think she envyed that, the thing is its ok to do shitty things when ur 16, but not when ur 22. Example, stealing ur friends car when shes on vacation and getting cough drunk at the wheel. Trying to cash one of my tax receipt . And lying on top of all that.
Aug 1 2011 10:33PM
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BIGben*
Posts: 1942 - Karma: 8
Sad but not wasting her hard earned cash...
Aug 1 2011 10:36PM
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blackmamba.
Posts: 969 - Karma: 56
you've got one option and one option only; tell your parents. you gotta squash this sooner rather than later.
Aug 1 2011 10:38PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,510
i have a sister who steals shit from me too. if you really hate her like i do hate mine fuck her shes a fuck up and thats all she's ever going to be.
Aug 1 2011 10:38PM
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GSPhotography
Posts: 838 - Karma: 1,373
I hate her a lot. She has done the shadiest things to me. But she is still my sister, I dont want her to live a miserable life. Nobody wishes that to someone in their family.
She really needs to get her shit together, its depressing to watch. And so sad for my parents.
Aug 1 2011 10:40PM
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introvert
Posts: 4718 - Karma: 1,482
Just tell your parents. It's the only option.
Aug 1 2011 10:41PM
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CKpolicy
Posts: 2587 - Karma: 2,463
its not like shes helping herself by hiding it. youre helping her in the long run.
Aug 1 2011 10:43PM
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GSPhotography
Posts: 838 - Karma: 1,373
I just left the letter on the kitchen counter upstairs beside my moms phone. Hopefully she sees it and wont question me in the morning when we wake up to go to work.
I feel terrible for her...
Aug 1 2011 10:43PM
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introvert
Posts: 4718 - Karma: 1,482
Good choice
Aug 1 2011 10:45PM
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GSPhotography
Posts: 838 - Karma: 1,373
Im preparing myself to one of the worst mornings in my life...
Aug 1 2011 10:46PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
You did the right thing. I know you're probably feeling nervous and shit, but trust me, this is for the best.
Aug 1 2011 10:46PM
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.tenderman
Posts: 124 - Karma: 11
reminds me of that episode of fresh prince when hillary drops out of collage and will finds out then carlton finds out then they blackmail her and eventually her parents find out and get mad.

i dunno lol, but just get her to the therapist or something. my sister also steals things. she freaks out like one of those kids on supernanny like an attention whore. it sucks
Aug 1 2011 10:48PM
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dresserski
Posts: 1039 - Karma: 1,727
honestly u need to tell somebody. like to be honest, im not the best student either, i failed out of montana state university, and as much as i wanted to hide and never talk about it, i had to tell my rents because they had spent that much money on that year. And like honest, if ur sis failed out, she shouldnt be going to hood and stuff. im sorry, your sis isnt dumb or weird in that way at all, trust me nobody wants to tell anybody that they failed and esp if they have to tell somebody who has invested in them. you will be doing your sis a favor by starting that convo, she will not thank you for it, but deep down she will know that she does not have to start the convo, which is the scarist part. anyways i wish you, ur sis, and your rents luck with this whole situation. and i hope u liked it out west
Aug 1 2011 10:52PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,510
is it bad that i do, i really do hate her and honestly if shed died i prob wouldn't even go to her funereal.
Aug 1 2011 10:59PM
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Poikenz
Posts: 1492 - Karma: 3,867
You shouldn't feel bad about it. Yes your Mom will be sad possibly angry, but not as sad or angry when she doesn't find out and ends up spending more money on her, which would be a hell of a lot worse. The sooner the better.

Now about your sister, she isn't ruining her life, you might think she is because she isn't doing so well in school and steals, but if that's what she likes to do and that's what she wants to do for the rest of her life then you shouldn't feel bad for her. If she is happy then there really isn't a problem. Sure you know when she gets a shit job and hates her life she might not be overly happy but she put herself in that situation, nothing to feel bad about. Same goes for hardcore drug addicts or drunks. They do it because it makes them happy, so why want to make someone not so happy? Sure they can go get help but they can choose when they need help and are no longer happy, some of them think they don't need help, so why force it on them? Let them "ruin" their lives as long as they are happy doing it.
Aug 1 2011 11:33PM
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GSPhotography
Posts: 838 - Karma: 1,373
They are not happy thats the problem. Its not a healty way of living mentally
Aug 1 2011 11:35PM
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PJS.
Posts: 11943 - Karma: 895
whats she done?
Aug 1 2011 11:38PM
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the.cheat
Posts: 2859 - Karma: 171
you made the right call, good luck!
Aug 1 2011 11:40PM
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Poikenz
Posts: 1492 - Karma: 3,867
I am not talking about your parents but your sister. If she is happy doing fuck all, and not giving a shit about who she hurts in the process then she doesn't have a problem. It's everyone else who has the problem and the problem is her, so don't let her be in your life.
Aug 1 2011 11:42PM
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plaire
Posts: 161 - Karma: 29
 
Aug 1 2011 11:50PM
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plaire
Posts: 161 - Karma: 29
 
Aug 1 2011 11:50PM
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chardi
Posts: 5040 - Karma: 59
i would touch YOUR situation
Aug 1 2011 11:50PM
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plaire
Posts: 161 - Karma: 29
 
Aug 1 2011 11:50PM
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plaire
Posts: 161 - Karma: 29
 
Aug 1 2011 11:54PM
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Cannaburner
Posts: 1007 - Karma: 785
if i were you i would tell your mom asap because shes losing money and giving it away to a daughter who is not deserving of it. ik itll be hard because you know itll upset your mom but she shouldnt be suffering cash wise too. its not fair to her.
Aug 1 2011 11:56PM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
i had an "aquaintence" at school who we later learned hadnt actually taken a college class in 2 yyears. He had been forging his transcrips etc. He was a close friend, but hell, we dont even actually know if he was who he said he was. When we confronted him about it, he made up an even crazier story to explain it. He ended up moving home to "start a 5 star restaurant with his mom in dwntwn portland".


Compulsive lying is very serious. You NEED to tell your parents and try and get her help. the best thing you can do for her is to force her to get help. They wont stop unless yo do something.
Aug 2 2011 12:00AM
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Lagoon
Posts: 175 - Karma: 409
what happened.......
Aug 2 2011 1:29AM
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maxwell666
Posts: 554 - Karma: 20
i was in a similar situation a few years ago with my sister, she would come home and storm into my room and tell me all her problems, she always had, the problems were getting more and more outrageous like started with stuff like her and her friend were in an argument or something like that in grade six then and by grade 9 it was drugs, sex and rock and roll.  shes moved out on my parents coin by now, (she is older than me and i am already graduated, figure out the time gap) and i am still cleaning up her messes, i am living in her old room and was cleaning her shit out of the closet, during a whole house cleanup with my parents, and i have to sneak her old booze bottles and shit out and as i go deeper into the closet i start to find shit like old sandwich bags with half caps of E left in them and lots of random unknown pills and powders  she is a mature and wonderful woman now, on the straight and narrow (living properly and being healthy), but it took a huge confrontation and a massive blowup in highschool before she really calmed down.

I had the unfortunate task of instigating that blowup with our parents, it wasn't fun, my dad has quite a temper on him, it was scary but it needed to be done. at some points it involved running and hiding but you have to stick it through. I was sick of having money and things go missing from my room and sick of seeing her go lower and lower.

you owe it to your mom and your family to sort things out if you can, its a slippery slope, and you can only catch people as far as you can reach.
Aug 2 2011 4:07AM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
unless your sister is like the most insensitive sociopath ever even a compulsive liar feels guilt. She is probably so deep in her lies she has no idea how to even tell your parents. Just tell them. Help her out. Get her on the right track. she is 23 which sucks cuz its a little late to be failing out of college. like i can understand a freshman flunking out and being scared to tell mom and dad but your sisters a woman. She needs to figure out her shit.
Aug 2 2011 4:33AM
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razors-chaz
Posts: 2255 - Karma: 1,250
Dont know if somebody has said this yet as i didnt read all the posts but if you dont want to bring the shit storm to you say to your sister you found the letter and that she has to tell her because it seems to me not really your place to grass up your sister. Just lay it out and just explain that its not fair on your parents that they are paying for all this stuff for her and she is just blatently lying about it. Tell her its for the benefit of your family as coming clean about it will come off better than your parents finding out about some other way.
Aug 2 2011 7:26AM
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GSPhotography
Posts: 838 - Karma: 1,373
Well , on an excepting turn of the situation. my mom woke up this morning and saw the letter i layed on purpose on the counter for her to see. She read it and came down to my mom and asked calmly if i were the one who left it there, I said yes.

I cant believe she would turn this around and start yelling at me for looking through her stuff like she did. Needless to say I lost all respect I had in her this morning. She wouldnt let me say a word.

Life is fucked
Aug 2 2011 8:06AM
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GSPhotography
Posts: 838 - Karma: 1,373
Came down to my room ***
Aug 2 2011 8:06AM
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Gmart
Posts: 1634 - Karma: 273
no lie shes just mad that your sister is failing outta school, i think in the end of things she'll say you didnt have the right to look thru your sisters stuff but she'll be happy you did because now she knows the truth
Aug 2 2011 8:17AM
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