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You've obviously felt someone else's penis.
Um that is the worst fucking description of Brooks Brothers i've ever heard. Like, ever. Literally ever. That would describe, like, Gareth Pugh or something super avant. Nothing about Brooks Brothers is fashion, except Black Fleece, and even that isn't very fashion, it's just a little bit more idiosyncratically styled and cut.
Anyway, IME, the only reasons to own Brooks Brothers are a) Black Fleece and a distant b) the slim fit and extra slim fit shirts. Everything else is pretty balls but that stuff is pretty good. I have 4 suits, a jacket, couple pairs of pants, some shoes, about a dozen shirts and almost as many ties, all Black Fleece. I am wearing a Caruso-era double breasted navy linen BBBF blazer right now, actually.
Lolol
Whatever. You're smarter than me. Sometimes I think of what I could do with the thousands and thousands of dollars I spend on clothing and facepalm. Especially since if I just bought everything at Club Monaco I would still be outdressing 95% of people in this city. BUT I JUS' CAN'T STOP KOPPIN'
Hate to say it but...
5 blazers
3 suits
15+ dress shirts
countless chinos and shorts
5 or so ties
couple belts
3 polos
Prep school was so great.