If you were a door i would slam you
If you were paper i would tear you up
If you were a wolf i would make you howl
If you were a chimney, i would come down inside and leave presents at the bottom
Do i owe you 5$, because you just gave me a foot long
If you were a ship i would board your poop deck
If you were a gun i would make you go bang bang
If you were a wild horse i would break you
If you were a restaurant i would dine and dash
Will you tone my banjo?
Are you a plumber, because i just leaked a little
Are you a gardener, because you just turned my sprinkler on
If you were a slot machine i would blow my load in you
Do you own a barn, because my cock needs a place to stay the night
If you were lewis and i was clark i would let you eat my seaman
If you were a cup of hot water i would teabag you
If you were a bowl of soup i would spoon you
If you were a punching bag i would you all night
If you were a lug nu, i would lubricate your hole
If you were an engine i would get you with my dipstick
If i were a lightbulb you would turn me on at the speed of light
If you were mining cave there would be explosions in your shaft
If you were a dumbwaiter i would send my meat up you
If you were broken i would wacky glue you
If you were english i would give you a lot of pounds
My name is nostril, will you blow me?
If you were a pickup truck i would ride in the back
If you were sawmill, i would send my log down your wet trench
If you were a cave, i would go spelunking inside
If you were a christmas soldier, i would put my nuts in your mouth
Are you albino, because i'm about to stick it where the sun don't shine
Are you an ocean, because i'm about to free my willy
If you were a car i would put my junk in your trunk
If you were a widow i would break you from the inside
If i was Bob Marley i would jam all over you
If i worked at Panda Express you could lick my egg role and wantons
If you were a gopher i would put my hose in your hole
If i was NASA i would send a probe deep into Uranus
If i was a train robber i would raid your caboose
those are were all thought of by me and a few friends
