An actual stalker, let me enlighten you:
A fortnight ago I met this incredibly fit bird at a club, being me I seduced her with my fatal allure and my profound knowledge of the Pantera Uncia. We went back to her place, where I shagged her brains out.
The next morning came, I woke up at 9:00 and I had this lecture at ten and the door was locked. She was still vast asleep and since you don't wake up a fair maiden but nor did i want to miss this lecture, I did what any Casanova what do and disembarked via the window.(Don't worry I was courteous and wrote a note which I planted on her nightstand.) With hindsight this was a bad idea, despite my ever so graceful landing I did land in a pile of sick thus ruining my suede monks.
Now skip to today:
At 6am, someone rang the bell continuously, since I wasn't there but at some rave frolicking with young chicks in an otherwise abounded mortuary she picked up the doorphone. And saw this girl standing on the screen who yelled: Tell him to get down! Who are you slut? He is mine! and more along those lines.
My roommate was nice and she called me immediately advising me not to go home. So now I'm sitting at a friends place one block away too scared to go home because apparently she is still there.
