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October, 2024

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boozer
Posts: 521 - Karma: 35,623
Baby monkey riding on a pig, with a doughnut
Jul 12 2011 10:11PM
45979 9689
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cbj
Posts: 2114 - Karma: 1,136
Flaming ass o
Feb 6 2013 4:42PM
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Caspaaa
Posts: 4830 - Karma: 1,466
P.S., school, in the case of a lockdown no I will not be shutting off my phone. That is probably the worst advice unless I am hiding in a closet alone in a pitch black building so silent you can hear a pin drop.
Feb 6 2013 4:58PM
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Randy_Quench
Posts: 5447 - Karma: 4,343
Not motivated at all to start homework due tomorrow, not even coffee has helped my laziness.
Feb 6 2013 7:07PM
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benji.walts
Posts: 29 - Karma: 11
i want a new hoodie
Feb 6 2013 7:52PM
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Toasty.
Posts: 6196 - Karma: 2,302
The new Tosh.O with Cooper Cab... tooo funny
Feb 6 2013 8:14PM
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cbj
Posts: 2114 - Karma: 1,136
Well, 6 hours later and my lab is done. Time to relax, pow tomorrow :)
Feb 6 2013 8:50PM
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t.dough
Posts: 413 - Karma: 1,090
I'm not expecting anyone to read this. I just need to get it out.
If you do read it, it's just a stream of consciousness with little to no organization.

I'm a huge pussy. I can't get up the courage to try anything new on skis, I just got up the courage to ask a girl out to lunch for the first time in my life (over text, we live about a half hour away). I got worse than a rejection; she didn't even respond.
Over the past months I've lost all interest in everything. I was an AP, honor roll student until this year. Now I'm failing three classes. I stopped working out, I've lost any shred of confidence I had before. My relationship with my parents is dying. The worst part is I'm completely apathetic about it all. Once in a while I'll get this wave of self-hatred, but it's not enough to push me to do anything.
I feel completely disconnected from everyone, including myself. I know this sounds cheesy but when I look in the mirror something doesn't seem right. I know it's me but for some reason I don't think the image looks like me. The only way to describe what I see is "not human." I honestly can't put it into words. I'm not myself, I'm completely artificial. I don't like who I am. I was bullied until freshman year by the kids I consider to be my current best friends. I changed everything; my personality, the way I dressed, the way I talked. I changed everything to make them like me. To be one of the popular kids. I'm not who I was.
My day consists of getting up, fighting with my parents, going to school, fighting with my parents, and bed. Sometimes I fall asleep right after school, sometimes I can't fall asleep until 5 in the morning.
I don't think I'm suicidal, but the thought is always in the back of my mind. I can't picture myself anywhere beyond graduation.
My friends are all moving ahead... they've been accepted to some of the top colleges like Bowdoin and Tufts. They're star athletes. They get girls. I'm that one friend who sits on the sideline. The guy they can brag to. I'm mediocre at sports. I'm getting into mediocre colleges. The occasional girl I hook up with is mediocre at best.
Is this going to be the rest of my life? If so, I don't want to live it.

Somethings fucking wrong with me.
Feb 6 2013 9:26PM
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panojibber.
Posts: 1041 - Karma: 683
Duuuude, I feel you. Been there, done that. Vibes.

If you don't care about college... Don't go. If your friends are shitty... Find new ones. If you're doing things to please other people... Stop. High school (and college, really..) aren't really friendly places for people that don't fit inside the convenient little "high achievers" box.

My high school experience was pretty much the same. I think by grade 9 I was the only kid in my grade that consistently skied every weekend. I also played piano... Neither of those hobbies were exactly things that people understood or had a lot of respect for.

What do you love doing? What do you want to do in your spare time, or even for the rest of your life? What would you do if there were no obstacles, no objections from your parents, nobody trying to push you in one direction or another?
Figure out what that thing is, and go do it. Surround yourself with like-minded people.

Don't get caught up in judging yourself based on athletic performance and the number-rating of the girls you hook up with. What matters to YOU? Chances are, its not what people are telling you to care about. Don't let other people tell you what to value in your life. Thats easier said than done though, especially in high school.

I'm guessing you're 18? If so, you have approximately 80 years to do what you want to in life. And when you graduate from high school... Freedom! So take a deep breath, relax, and realize that the last 3 years you've spent in high school are a blink of the eye. Your life is just beginning man, you can do ANYTHING you want.

Hope that helped. Feel better bro.
Feb 6 2013 9:51PM
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Plankton
Posts: 3226 - Karma: 6,840
Girls basketball coach was datibg and sextjng the players at our school we just found out...what the
Feb 6 2013 10:12PM
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t.dough
Posts: 413 - Karma: 1,090
I completely agree with everything you said. In those periods of self hatred I think exactly that, but I can never find the motivation to change my life. That's where there's something wrong with me. It's my inability to push myself.

panojibber.- thanks so much man. That really made my night a lot better. It's comforting to hear that other people have pulled themselves through the same thing. I don't think other people really understand.

It's just that little things constantly eat at me. I know for a fact I have a pretty damn good life and I'm super fortunate compared to some and I feel shitty for feeling shitty. It's just that no matter how hard I try to stop, I'm always comparing myself to my peers.

As for the friends, I really do enjoy spending time with them, it's just I don't like myself for changing to become like them. Also, my school's tiny. No option for a friend-swap. I was just using them to try to explain how I've changed.

Feb 6 2013 10:25PM
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t.dough
Posts: 413 - Karma: 1,090
Sorry for the double post but the link doesn't work... probably because I'm not in whatever cult the thread's from.
Feb 6 2013 10:28PM
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84891jnf92048
Posts: 11552 - Karma: 2,550
Getting super stoked about heading out west this march. It's looking like a week with homies in Utah, and then hopping on a plane and heading to Portland for 3-5 days to check out schools and maybe go skiing.

Hopefully it all works out and I'll have one hell of a trip.
Feb 6 2013 11:02PM
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ALMIGHTYSOSA
Posts: 2800 - Karma: 2,102
Hit up Hood for a day if you can!
Feb 6 2013 11:05PM
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skeedle
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 628
Why has it taken me this long to watch macgruber?!
Feb 6 2013 11:32PM
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84891jnf92048
Posts: 11552 - Karma: 2,550
definitely want to. never skied there in the winter, kind of think it's an important thing to check out if I might be living there for four years.
Feb 6 2013 11:34PM
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NinetyFour
Posts: 8650 - Karma: 13,409
No clue..

Related: I've been watching the show Intervention lately. I enjoy watching it; first TV show I've followed to an extent in probably over a year. Puzzled as fuck as to why I enjoy it though...
Feb 7 2013 12:39AM
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skeedle
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 628
Probably because it makes you feel that much better about your life.
Feb 7 2013 1:03AM
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holytoast
Posts: 683 - Karma: 301
I can relate to this, im probably worse though with the girls part but i have plenty of other friends. The one thing i learned is that no matter how good you look you will still be the same person on the inside. Now that being said, i knew that i had to change and i am so fucking depressed that i know i have to change again, in one form or another.
Feb 7 2013 1:30AM
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*ninja*
Posts: 2108 - Karma: 1,143
i hate school and love to ski!
Feb 7 2013 1:46AM
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panojibber.
Posts: 1041 - Karma: 683
I just got asked to play keyboards for a gig.
I have 9 days to learn 31 songs.
The next week or so is going to be very busy.
Feb 7 2013 2:00AM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
the guy in this gif symbolizes my motivation.
Click for larger image

And the more I watch it, it just gets more funny.
Feb 7 2013 10:35AM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,273
we're supposed to get tons of snow but i can't go home and ski because of fucking practice
Feb 7 2013 11:07AM
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NinetyFour
Posts: 8650 - Karma: 13,409
Ha maybe. Definatley for the crackheads and drug addicts and everything. Then there's some food disorder one and Im looking around the room, watching the show, look around the room again... Holy SHIT I'm BINGE eating.

Then I eat and dgaf. Lol.


Also my parents are in Cali, house to myself accept when my sister is around... So nice.
Feb 7 2013 11:12AM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
Fart war with the guy in the stall next to me, I'm gonna scare him off.


also: people named Gary probably get pissed when they type the word 'fart' and autocorrect changes it to their name
Feb 7 2013 11:26AM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
Well then...
Feb 7 2013 12:01PM
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Laurent.
Posts: 10056 - Karma: 25,313
Stomach ache coming in twenty minutes, I just made a brownie in a mug.


Click for larger image
Feb 7 2013 12:11PM
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Rachy
Posts: 4355 - Karma: 2,761
Want.

I don't know if I'm ready to go back to my pseudo reality tomorrow. I've become very attached to this couch.

This is also the entirely wrong place to say this.... But it's on my mind. I think I want to try the boyfriend thing again. It's been nearly 4 years now. I think I've rebounded. I should watch less chick flicks. My head is getting filled with silly ideas.
Feb 7 2013 12:31PM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
It would be cool to be a voice over for a cartoon
Feb 7 2013 12:39PM
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Caspaaa
Posts: 4830 - Karma: 1,466
need to find a place to kick it in VT while this storm DUMPS on the east coast...

probably headed up tomorrow morning or tonight if they call off school tonight. hopefully things can work out cause it would be insane.
Feb 7 2013 1:08PM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
I agree. If you get that job let me know how you did. I want to do that.
Feb 7 2013 1:13PM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
you have to take like classes and shit apparently
Feb 7 2013 1:20PM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
Fuck that. Lets just make a show ourselves called "Classless" and its about people who have class but dont come from class. They live in shitholes but are the classiest people in town. Classier than the people who are in the high class areas who have taken classes on class.... "Classless"
Feb 7 2013 1:23PM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
ok the main character can be named Reginald VonStimperston IV and he will be the classiest mother fucker there is.
Feb 7 2013 1:27PM
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NinetyFour
Posts: 8650 - Karma: 13,409
This is hilarious if you ignore the C and L in class and any variation of class.
Feb 7 2013 1:28PM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
Thats me, Reginald. And you can be Elizabeth VonStimperston, my classy wife.
Feb 7 2013 1:30PM
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Stickity
Posts: 7750 - Karma: 769
the girls i'm friends with from home are so hot
Feb 7 2013 1:44PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37397 - Karma: 120,257
Oh man I fucking slayed that test, I know it.
Feb 7 2013 1:45PM
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Caspaaa
Posts: 4830 - Karma: 1,466
great fucking feeling

even better when you fucked up the test and you get it back with a big fat "88" written on the top.


fucking calculus man, how does it work?
Feb 7 2013 2:25PM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
redneck classy*
Feb 7 2013 2:27PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37397 - Karma: 120,257
It was a nice history test. My teacher is critical as all hell though when it comes to his test. Almost lost a bunch of points because i wasn't "in deph"about some answers. I had the right ideas though.
Feb 7 2013 2:36PM
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Caspaaa
Posts: 4830 - Karma: 1,466
so stoked, no school tomorrow so i'm going to chill at a friends place. then setting up a huge urban gap and potentially hitting some urban rails on saturday and sunday!
Feb 7 2013 5:08PM
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Caspaaa
Posts: 4830 - Karma: 1,466
so stoked, no school tomorrow so i'm going to chill at a friends place. then setting up a huge urban gap and potentially hitting some urban rails on saturday and sunday!

and of course some quality time to spend with the lady :)
Feb 7 2013 5:09PM
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roddy116
Posts: 10630 - Karma: 7,456
last day of swimming :(, and inspired is coming to my home hill valentines day which will make this sad day better. and i think im going to colorado over prezzie day :D
Feb 7 2013 5:16PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37397 - Karma: 120,257
So theres a Detroit-themed restaurant going in down the street called the "Motor City Grill Burger and Taco Garage." I'm fine with it except the factual incorrectness they have in their name. I don't recollect eating tacos when I was at a wings, lions or tigers game for that matter. They aren't a Detroit food if that was what he was going for.
Feb 7 2013 5:32PM
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Bar_Down
Posts: 5896 - Karma: 395
I love how Torontonians freak the fuck out every time it snows a little bit, might have the day off tomorrow because of it
Feb 7 2013 7:58PM
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*N_Wist*
Posts: 422 - Karma: 79
ya its pretty jokes, but the upside is if I get a day off tomorrow that means I get to go ski
Feb 7 2013 8:07PM
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NinetyFour
Posts: 8650 - Karma: 13,409
Aha I watch Toronto's BT every morning (Winnipegs is beyond laughable) and seriously, like a wee bit of snow and they go ape, or when anything is colder than -10C Franko freaks the fuck out and makes sure that we know to go all out when dressing for the weather.
Feb 7 2013 8:10PM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
One of my kiddos accidentally popped the 'end' key off my laptop keyboard and I cannot get it back on. Tried and tried, its super simple and should just snap on but it won't! No part on it is damaged and its irritating me! bahhhhhhh haha
Feb 7 2013 8:27PM
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panojibber.
Posts: 1041 - Karma: 683
I FUCKING LOVE THE MARS VOLTA.

All I want in life is to play guitar like Omar Rodriguez Lopez.
The man is a BEAST of a musician. I think he used to smoke a lot of meth though.
Feb 7 2013 9:22PM
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PJS.
Posts: 11943 - Karma: 895
How fucking awesome would it be to be a member of the AF Pararescuemen?
Feb 7 2013 9:23PM
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