In a restroom:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER.
PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES
WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK
THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY
PLEASE BRING IT BACK
OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In another office:
AFTER TEA BREAK,
STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT
AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN
ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING -
BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.
WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG
AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN
AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS
TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE,
BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ,
THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU
HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING
(PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR -
THE BELL DOESN'T WORK
**************************************
Great Movie Quotes:
Look at the funbags on that hose hound-Harry-Dumb and Dumber
I desperatley want to make love to a school boy-Loyd-Dumb and Dumber
The Chiles Babyback Ribs Theme Song-Fat Bastard-Austin Powers in the Spy Who Shagged Me
The Dick and Boob Sequence-Several Citizens-Austin Powers in Goldmember and The Spy Who Shagged Me
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