I only have
one story, sparknotes at the bottom.
A while ago,
my teammates and I were on route to our field hockey match, my friend drove his
mom’s Range Rover, I was sitting shotgun and the other guys were being a bit
gay in the back.
When we
stopped for a red light, one of my friends thought it would be funny to moon at
a (ugly & fat) woman in the lane next to us that went right. Just moments
after he took of his pants and showed his hairy chasm of impending doom, we
heard a loud honk and the fat bastard stepped out of her car and slammed on my
window. The light went to green and my friend quickly sped away.
Little did
we know but the fat blob had crawled behind her steering wheel again and was
now chasing us, something we only discovered miles later. When we found out it
was hard to get away from her due to all the speed cameras, so we just simply did
not worry about her anymore until we arrived at the hockey club were we were
going to play, she was still behind us and followed us for 40 miles away from
where the mooning took place.
She got out
and started to scream and speak unintelligible jiberish. Saying that we fucked
up her kids who were in the backseat for life etc. We just did not care and
walked through the gate of the Hockey club, which she was not allowed to enter.
We thought
this hissy fit was all over, but we got an unpleasant surprise when we returned
from the match, which we off course had won. She had scratched up the Range
Rover really bad and broke the headlights, and scratched “kuthomo’s” in the
side. (Kuthomo’s is Dutch and literally translates to “Cuntfags”.)
Of course,
she was nowhere to be found, at least that is what she thought but she and her
car were caught on 12 different security cameras off the hockey club so she was
traced easily. Moreover, since my friend’s dad is a lawyer so the outcome was in
his favor: she had to pay for an entire
respray of the car and new headlight units.
Sparknotes:
Friend
mooned fat woman, she scratched up friends Range Rover, and she lost in court.
