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Son: 'Dad, I had sex at the party last night.'
Dad: 'Well, did you use protection?'
Son: (sighs) 'No.'
Dad: 'Thats my boy, those condoms take away all the feeling!'
Lateralis, on his turn-ons:
'a shaved box, i dont want no fucken rain forest greeting me when i tear off those little cotton panties, id much rather have a nice gaping axe wound that is dripping with wetness while i stare at it in amazement and eat that shit like its elephant food!'