Replying to The BEAT (Boobville Entrance Aptitude Test)

The BEAT (Boobville Entrance Aptitude Test)

Give yourself...
•2 points for each of the following publications which you currently subscribe to:

Bigtop
Gent
Field & Stream
Press Bonanza
Popular Mechanics
Bra Buster
Friskee Cut
Melon Town
D-Cup
Milkin' Poppin'

•Give yourself 5 points if you've ever been to Russ Mire's Bra Museum;
•10 points if you cried when you had to leave;
•15 points if you tried to hide so that you could run amuck with your pants down around your ankles after it closed;
•1 point for every time you've yearned to break free of the shackles of the oppressive man and start fresh in a place with a boob-shaped roller coaster;
•5 points for every time you've killed half a day at Victoria's Secret pricing bras for your girlfriend;
•3 points if you took home a catalog;
•10 points if you lied about the whole girlfriend part;
•5 points if you had your mom waiting out in the car the whole time;
•3 points if you brought a sack lunch
•give yourself 10 points if you can fart on command
•deduct 3 points if you haven’t masturbated in the last 2 days
•deduct 5 points if you eat yogurt more than twice a week
•deduct 3 points if you wrap gifts in anything other than newspaper or tin foil
•deduct 1 point for every room you have potpourri in
•deduct 1 point for every skin care product you own
•7 points if you know what you can take off of an 83 camaro to make it faster
•5 points if you know what dragonfly is ( hint: trucker lingo)
•Give yourself 1 point for each of the following skills you possess:

sheet rocking
tin knocking
tub caulking
street walking
trash talking
sheer walling
grab-a-hauling
tree falling
towel installing
hog calling
CPR



65+ points- welcome to hooterville
55-64 points- No touchy!! You must be 20% more man to ride Boob Mountain
54 points or less- see GAT (Gay Aptitude Test)
81 points- you must work round a lot of metal, or a least your in construction




It was a foursome if you go by weight, but it was a two-and-a-half-some if you go by actual sexual activity