Member of the Month

hi_vis360
November, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

What is the best way to annoy telemarketers?

profile picture
mkuczmarski11
Posts: 103 - Karma: 8
So I keep on getting a call from telemarketers asking for a deborah. Well my name isn't deborah and I keep on asking to be put on their do not call list. Anyways I always get called from a different strange number always asking for a deborah. Last time I asked to be put on a do not call list, the telemarketer said I will call you every fifteen minutes until Jesus comes. So anyways how can I annoy the shit out of a telemarketer. I need good Idea.
Jun 8 2011 10:32AM
0 0
profile picture
tall_pants
Posts: 663 - Karma: 446
I love this. I use a western accent and say im gay and stuff.. Or use a madeup language like Chinese
Jun 8 2011 10:33AM
0 0
profile picture
1337
Posts: 31059 - Karma: 29,329
keep talking to them and asking them questions. they are obligated not to hang up on a potential customer.
Jun 8 2011 10:33AM
0 0
profile picture
mkuczmarski11
Posts: 103 - Karma: 8
haha those are pretty good
Jun 8 2011 10:35AM
0 0
profile picture
soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2Findex%3Fdesktop_uri%3D%252F%26gl%3DUS&desktop_uri=%2F&gl=US#/watch?v=mkdoogjic4I and other tom mabe videos
Jun 8 2011 10:35AM
0 0
profile picture
CliffyByro
Posts: 5678 - Karma: 3,903
that sounds more like a stalker to me...
Jun 8 2011 10:36AM
0 0
profile picture
mkuczmarski11
Posts: 103 - Karma: 8
Yeah it does. But it's weird because when I called back I got the answering machine to like internet marketing partners or something like that.
Jun 8 2011 10:38AM
0 0
profile picture
CliffyByro
Posts: 5678 - Karma: 3,903
hmm that is weird. next time they call just pretend to be deborah?
Jun 8 2011 10:40AM
0 0
profile picture
.frenchy
Posts: 18227 - Karma: 12,372
Ask personal, or awkward questions. Use lisps and shit too
Jun 8 2011 10:41AM
0 0
profile picture
ski_cartel
Posts: 6598 - Karma: 18
telemarketer cant hang up on you, if you express serious interest in their product they have to stay on the phone. So what you do is say something like "Oh yea absolutely just hold on Il go get her" then put down the phone and walk away for 3-4h. The only downside is that your phone stays tied up
Jun 8 2011 10:44AM
0 0
profile picture
LittleFoot
Posts: 1667 - Karma: 57
take a dump while youre on the phone with them and talk ina fat bastard voice.
Jun 8 2011 10:47AM
0 0
profile picture
.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Pretend you're interested, keep them on the phone for a long time, and then tell them you're not interested. It pisses them off beyond belief.
Jun 8 2011 10:51AM
0 0
profile picture
monkatizer
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 1,518
take a really long time to act like your buying somthing, then when they ask for info and credit card stuff, just give them random numbers over and over so it wont work, they will get pissed real fast
Jun 8 2011 10:59AM
0 0
profile picture
mkuczmarski11
Posts: 103 - Karma: 8
Jun 8 2011 11:00AM
0 0
profile picture
.Roockley.
Posts: 3866 - Karma: 4,089
ask if you can call them back, they freak out cause you can be taken off the database and the company can be fined
Jun 8 2011 11:01AM
0 0
profile picture
Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
talk like this
Jun 8 2011 11:03AM
0 0
profile picture
mkuczmarski11
Posts: 103 - Karma: 8
now that's a good idea
Jun 8 2011 11:09AM
0 0
profile picture
mountbroski
Posts: 23 - Karma: 58

whenever i get a call from a telemarketer the first thing i do is go take a piss.... it's funny because i know they can hear it. 

I also talk like stans dad in southpark... i'm pretty good at it

Jun 8 2011 11:10AM
0 0
profile picture
I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
talk very slowly and make grunting noises between every word

or try to sell them a vacuum cleaner or a shakeweight over the phone :)
Jun 8 2011 12:15PM
0 0
profile picture
WakeBakeFapNap
Posts: 258 - Karma: 28

i once convinced a telemarketer that my line of work was me and my wife had made our own prostitution business btw im not a whore and im 17 so i dont have a wife

Jun 8 2011 12:28PM
0 0
profile picture
mkuczmarski11
Posts: 103 - Karma: 8
haha that is the best thing ever. I need to try that. Ill say Im deborahs husband. lol
Jun 8 2011 1:02PM
0 0
profile picture
.Blake.
Posts: 1911 - Karma: 38

Jun 8 2011 1:04PM
0 0
profile picture
Imagination
Posts: 2501 - Karma: 73
Use a soundboard, only option
Jun 8 2011 1:12PM
0 0
profile picture
BenWhit
Posts: 4654 - Karma: 3,257
start watching porn really loud, like raunchy, hardcore porn. put the phone on speaker and take a nasty dump and/or piss.
Jun 8 2011 1:18PM
0 0
profile picture
DirtyDan
Posts: 1576 - Karma: 158
Same thing happened to me except it was Chris, and it was insurance companies. First, I asked for as much information about "me" as I could. I got the guys email adress, full name, street adress, birthday and a bunch of other shit. I then proceeded to use this info to sign him up with tons of insurance companies. I'm a dick.
Jun 8 2011 1:20PM
0 0
profile picture
Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,902
Do not call registry: https://www.donotcall.gov/

Or if you just want to fuck with them, carry on a completely different conversation. Pretend like you can't hear them and are having a phone conversation with someone else. They will think you are insane and leave you alone. Make sure to include bizarre details: "Sure honey, I won't forget to pick up your super absorbent maxi pads at the store. Do you need more Preparation H too?"
Jun 8 2011 1:20PM
0 0
profile picture
EC-Skier
Posts: 3899 - Karma: 668
just keep saying yes, they get pissed, but they cant hang up
Jun 8 2011 1:23PM
0 0
profile picture
RalphLauren.
Posts: 710 - Karma: 106
be really vague and talk in a really light voice or speak Spanish or scream at them through the phone, say they murdered your kids or rant about global warming
Jun 8 2011 1:27PM
0 0
profile picture
mkuczmarski11
Posts: 103 - Karma: 8
that is the best idea ever. lol. I am going to screw deborah
Jun 8 2011 1:28PM
0 0
profile picture
Scott0_robot0
Posts: 3291 - Karma: 212
i tried to sell random stuff in my room to the guy, and kept talking over him. he was pissed.
Jun 8 2011 1:29PM
0 0
profile picture
mkuczmarski11
Posts: 103 - Karma: 8
Haha I love it. I could try to sell him my used toilet paper, a broken CD, some used dirty socks. lol
Jun 8 2011 1:40PM
0 0
profile picture
corona
Posts: 12804 - Karma: 32,823
just asked my friend who's a telemarketer and here are some things that are really annoying.

-play dumb, always effective.

-talk reaaaaally really slow. like drag out each word where it's just painfully slow

-ask a lot of personal questions, like what they're wearing and stuff like that
Jun 8 2011 1:49PM
0 0
profile picture
Darth_Veeder
Posts: 1054 - Karma: -26
...because Chinese is made up.
Jun 8 2011 1:51PM
0 0
profile picture
DERS.
Posts: 6299 - Karma: 1,293
thought i was in sg and read how to annoy one of these guys...

Click for larger image
Jun 8 2011 1:53PM
0 0
profile picture
Phil-X-
Posts: 7205 - Karma: 14,399
chinese is a made up language?
Jun 8 2011 1:55PM
0 0
profile picture
Craze
Posts: 1132 - Karma: 423
No but im sure none of use can speak Chinese he meant try to speak Chinese lol ive done that a lot. Also iv acted like a little kid freaking out cause i cant find my grandma and keep asking if they know her and where shes at its fucking hilarious cause you'll get some people that really wana try and help.
Jun 8 2011 2:16PM
0 0
profile picture
colleenator
Posts: 885 - Karma: 60
what i do is say no before they finish asking a question. for example, "hello, is miss.some-no-" they totally dont expect and they shut up in less than 30 seconds. skillz.
Jun 8 2011 2:26PM
0 0
profile picture
ski-or-die
Posts: 770 - Karma: 17
Damn Norwegians " your stance is too wide i cant follows this skin track"
Jun 8 2011 2:33PM
0 0
profile picture
mkuczmarski11
Posts: 103 - Karma: 8
I really like that advice. playing dumb seems so effective
Jun 8 2011 2:39PM
0 0
profile picture
skiblandford
Posts: 1503 - Karma: 2
ive never actually done it, i think im on the no call list, but if one ever calls me i will just ask them to hold and make some obscene noises in the back round like swearing and gun shots and then police sirens
Jun 8 2011 2:43PM
0 0
profile picture
ferrariowner123
Posts: 1623 - Karma: 28
Threads for after school.
Jun 8 2011 2:53PM
0 0
profile picture
garret.
Posts: 1173 - Karma: 585
i would say either use a really annoying soundboard, act stupid as fuck or get angry at them
Jun 8 2011 2:58PM
0 0
profile picture
CliffyByro
Posts: 5678 - Karma: 3,903
holy shit you just reminded me, i had a dream last night i was trying to telemark, but i sucked so bad at it.

/cool story bro
Jun 8 2011 3:09PM
0 0
profile picture
Mr.Huck
Posts: 6096 - Karma: 14,902
As soon as they start talking, scream and throw the phone down, but don't hang up. Continue to run around the house screaming. Make some loud sounds, then stop screaming. Walk up to the phone on the floor stomping loudly so they can hear. Pick up the phone, breath heavily into the phone for a few seconds, then hang up.
Jun 8 2011 3:22PM
0 0
profile picture
[evan]
Posts: 5628 - Karma: 117
Haha this would be hilarious. Thanks for that do not call registry above as well.
Jun 8 2011 3:37PM
0 0
profile picture
trettzilla
Posts: 931 - Karma: 29
thats wat i do. get them started explaining it and leave come back everycouple minutes and see if they are still talking and ask some questions and walk away again. then after a while just hang up

Jun 8 2011 3:49PM
0 0
profile picture
ChrisSkisChronic
Posts: 1128 - Karma: 230
I can make a ridiculously loud and piercing banshee scream. It actually sounds evil. I've scared the living fuck out of people with it. Anyways... I pick up the phone, give it a second or 2 and then let fly. Every time I've done it I either hear a shout on the other end or silence to hang up
Jun 8 2011 3:52PM
0 0
profile picture
sndyrvr
Posts: 684 - Karma: 119
I usually tell them to get a better job
Jun 8 2011 3:57PM
0 0
profile picture
PASKIINGSUCKS
Posts: 9097 - Karma: 777
carry on the conversation as if you're very interested but don't oversell it. after a couple minutes start making soft fapping noises with your hand. Slide a little soft moan here and there in the conversation. Increase pace of fapping noises until you let out a final satisfying moan. Proceed to ask them if that was as good for them as it was for you.

subtle fucking around is always more funny(awkward). Never tell them what you're doing, but make it painfully obvious.


Or you could always keep a baby crying on a recording. "could you hold on a second please" "SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU'RE MOTHERS NOT HERE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU NOW" while shaking the phone violently. Do this well enough and you might even be rewarded with a visit from child services.
Jun 8 2011 3:59PM
0 0
profile picture
chill_davis
Posts: 2107 - Karma: 650
this is what I say, I live in CT btw "Connecticut state police, colchester berrics" They hang up and never call back.
Jun 8 2011 4:00PM
0 0
profile picture
Geb
Posts: 114 - Karma: 50
haha what do they even want to sell? and either say "hi this is debrah" or talk to them and interrupt there sentences and fuck with them, i want one to call me :(
Jun 8 2011 4:01PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)