Well first you have to make the fibers. Pick the butt hair surrounding the anus in the region commonly referred to as the gooch until you have roughly 3.2 kg of fiber. (This should be about 100 cubic feet) After that you need to locate a spinning wheel or a car. Raise the back of the car up and tie the fibers to the spokes of the wheel. You're gonna want a car that can get atleast 36,000 RPM for this next part. Put the car in park and then hit the gas as hard as you can. Your pile of fiber should now be string. After you have the string you must locate the nearest China. Once you are there, present the string to man who lives on top of the mountain with no name. Only he will be able to complete your request. You must nod your head three times (no more, no less) and rub mustard on your nipples. He will nod in response and mutter 性交. This means "come back in 2-3 business years" in english. You must come back in only 1.5. This will suprise him. He will see you are truly gifted with the wu-tang style, and present you with the steeziest fucking tall hoodie you have every laid eyes on. You will cry. He will cry. Everyone who sees you wearing this hoodie will cry instantly. Even Allah and Buddah and Jesus. You will ask him for the zipper length, and he will mutter "tall as fuck". The bad thing is that you can't ski with this hoodie on because if you wear it on the mountain, the snow will melt instantly.
So yeah, that's pretty much it.
