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Fuck, NS I need serious help right now

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futbol
Posts: 319 - Karma: 10

ok so I went to this meet up like a month ago and this girl and I had been flirting a little bit. My friend that I know had this huuuuge thing for said girl. This girl has been talking to me like non stop for the past month and my buddy is just devastated. I think he's dropping hints of suicide and it's freaking me the fuck out. I'm telling him to not give up on her and that he can have her, but what else can I say?

May 16 2011 11:19PM
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Bar_Down
Posts: 5896 - Karma: 395
tell him to grow a pair. maybe not in those words but ya. not trying to be a dick, but your boy is being a pussy
May 16 2011 11:21PM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
It'll suck for him right now, i'm fairly sure most people have been there. Into someone who was not into them. He'll be a better person for it. Just talk to him now, cheer him up, and let him know that your friendship is more important than that girl.

Oh, and you'll get a lot of bad responses in this forum.
May 16 2011 11:22PM
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jeremy.g
Posts: 4931 - Karma: 459
i would be pretty straight up with him and figure out if he is serious. if you think he is i would tell someone as soon as possible
May 16 2011 11:22PM
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TonyMacaroni
Posts: 1310 - Karma: 34
your friends gotta realize that there are more fish in the sea. and even if its rough now, things do get better
May 16 2011 11:23PM
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futbol
Posts: 319 - Karma: 10
I mean he has been in love with this girl forever. And I know I might get a lot of bad responses, but hopefully NS isn't like other places where they troll the living shit out of suicidal people..
May 16 2011 11:24PM
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theJones
Posts: 676 - Karma: 158
it would be a dick move to go and hook up with the girl he likes, but buddy has to move on. Too many other girls out there to get stuck on one that doesn't want you.
May 16 2011 11:27PM
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StevenR
Posts: 1372 - Karma: 33
This. Seriously. DON'T let it go.
May 16 2011 11:27PM
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Bar_Down
Posts: 5896 - Karma: 395
you need to make him realize that just crying/quitting/suicide just because one girl doesnt feel exactly the way he would want her to feel is just being a huge bitch. im honestly not even trying to troll or anything, but thats just life, thats the way she goes; enough times in life you'll have feelings for someone and they wont have them back for you, you just gotta move on, you cant control how ppl feel and just sitting there bitching and whining and wishing for them to change their mind isnt gonna do fuck all
May 16 2011 11:29PM
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S.P
Posts: 207 - Karma: 26
do this
May 16 2011 11:30PM
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los.pinguinos
Posts: 555 - Karma: 34
anti depressants?? this guys sounds like he needs help
May 16 2011 11:34PM
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JKill
Posts: 626 - Karma: 67
For sure sounds like he needs outside help man. School therapist and parents.
May 17 2011 12:28AM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
first and foremost sit him down and ask him how he is dealing with his issues. reitterate how important he is to you, and that he should lean on you if it gets too much for him to handle. let him know that he NEEDS to let you know if he actually is having serious thoughts of killing himself.


that being said first and foremost, he needs to either let this girl know how he feels, or accept that she isnt into him. if she isnt into him romantically, but is still friends with him, he needs to realize that he is better off having a good friend in his life than not.


My two favorite quotes right now(kinda going through the same thing), are this


"No one gets out of this world alive"

"If i fall if i die, know i lived it to the fullest
If i fall if i die, know i lived and missed some bullets"

these quotes, for me, really reinforce the idea that you cannot go on living life timidly, and safely. if you see something that you want, go out and get it. If you do fall down, thats part of life, get back up and keep living life to its fullest, because in all honesty, know matter how hard it is to see it in the tough times, life is beautiful.

What helped me get over some shit, is focusing on really trying to improve myself, physically, emotionally, professionally, intellectually. part of improving yourself is going out and trying new things, and just like learning something in school, you are not going to great at it the first time around, but you will get it. dont be ashamed of failure...ever, be ashamed of not trying and lack opf effort. When you are activly trying to improve yourself, you will meet new people and have new experiences, that help you move on a lot quicker.
May 17 2011 12:44AM
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Chubz.
Posts: 13918 - Karma: 25,661
I can kinda relate to the dude your talking about. Lately my best friend took the girl I was absolutely head over heals for. But I realized the girl wasn't for me. I ended my friendship with her and got her completely out of my life. Now, this might not be the case for your friend, but it sure as hell worked for me. Just take your friend out and party get his mind of the girl and get him to start flirting with some ladies. Should work.
May 17 2011 12:45AM
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derpina
Posts: 2186 - Karma: 55
Girls aren't things to be "had". It's not up to either of you who she falls for, so don't tell someone who is deeply depressed that he can "have her". You have to treat the depression, not the issue that caused it.
May 17 2011 12:47AM
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DISKHNT
Posts: 63 - Karma: 11
your mates gotta realize life is full of this sort of stuff. Can't live your life being a sad ass and hope for shit to come to you. I know that sounds really crude considering hes threatening to do himself in but is the reality of the situation.
You get knocked down 8 times, you get 9. Someones gotta make that clear to him and hopefully he will wake up. If he doesn't, seek the man some help

Best of luck
May 17 2011 12:49AM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
exactly. you know what? sometimes the girl just isnt into you and it is not your fault, theres nothing wrong with you.

rejection sucks, especially when you dont understand why it happened. The best way for me to deal with it, is to go out and improve myself, not to attract "her", but to attract a better version of her.

you really need to create healthy coping mechanisms. for some its exercise, others it talking it out with a friend, others still its through art. whatever it is, you need to find what works for you and is healthy.
May 17 2011 12:55AM
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snowdon
Posts: 2480 - Karma: 391
This. Besides, if he's really that depressed and bad off, she's unlikely to want to be with him anyway.
May 17 2011 12:57AM
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derpina
Posts: 2186 - Karma: 55
But really, there's nothing more you can say. There was nothing you could have ever said. In the situation when someone is depressed to the point of contemplating suicide, it's not about words, it's about action. You need to get him help, end of story. Whether he is bluffing or not, he is seeking some kind of help and for whatever reason can't get it himself. When someone gets depressed over a girl they never even dated, there is more of a deep-seated problem... whether it's genetics or other issues in his life. It was more than likely going to be triggered at some point in his life, and it needs to be acknowledged.

Consider the fact that this girl and you are flirting instead of her and him completely unrelated. He's depressed and that's all that matters.




... Ask me how I know.
May 17 2011 1:04AM
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RoofDaRoofieDogg
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 1,989
pee in her butt
May 17 2011 2:43AM
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AGOF
Posts: 2038 - Karma: 3,602
*his
May 17 2011 2:47AM
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klayer_9
Posts: 2037 - Karma: 188
i feel like this would solve the problem.
May 17 2011 2:51AM
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Pool.
Posts: 2820 - Karma: 662
yeah seriously but if ur freind is serious u guys really gotta talk cuz something mite happen that no one wants
May 17 2011 3:30AM
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HalfandHalf
Posts: 1216 - Karma: 207
homie of mine killed himself over girl issues a month ago, nobody knew so nobody was there for him to talk/help him through it. Trust me, dont be intrusive but if you cant get through to him find help for him.
May 17 2011 3:40AM
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PON3
Posts: 3817 - Karma: 783
just give him the girl. honestly what is one girl out of a billion over your best friends life. just think about it.
May 17 2011 3:43AM
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
I was waiting for this.
May 17 2011 3:57AM
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nickyp
Posts: 5673 - Karma: 215
This. He doesn't have a right to her, so if she doesn't like him, that's the end of it. He needs to move on, and deal with his overly emotional attachment.
May 17 2011 4:02AM
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Jahseph.
Posts: 1315 - Karma: 267

This.

Also taking this question to Ladies Men will get you some serious insight on how you might approach talking to him, NSG will only get you shorter responses and trolls trying to be funny.

May 17 2011 6:17AM
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TonKwon
Posts: 1013 - Karma: 54
Damn man i feel for friend on that one. I'll be honest with you, i've had a situation like this happen to me, MINUS the suicide.

During my junior year, there was this one girl i've always been pretty tight with. Her name was Erica, and she was a real good looking girl to me way back in the day and i had extensive feelings for her. Throughout the year, this girl would always be by my side and wait for me at my locker, greet me with hugs, come cuddle with me on occasions and what not. But, this girls priorities were not very clear at the time. I chased her for so long and fell for her really bad when i needed someone there for me, and she just kept coming and going.
I eventually told myself this is not the girl i SHOULD be gaining feelings for, even though i could not help myself in any way possible. At the end of the year, she threw some rough things at me and played me really REALLY badly. I was devastated, i was hurt, i was emotionless, i was BROKEN. Throughout time though, i moved on and became stronger within myself, manned up and stopped being a little bitch.
Now, i've been dating my girlfreind Nicole for over a year now.
So, my point is tell your freind to keep his head up. I know for a fact that it hurts, but tell him there are other fish in the sea. At first, hes not going to believe you, but over time he will because its so true. Also, if this relationship between you and your friend is serious, you would drop this girl like a bad habit, clearly her priorities arent clear either am i right??
May 17 2011 8:18AM
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Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
i dont have anything useful to say so im just going to be an ass and call you out on being redundant.
May 17 2011 9:22AM
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caliskigirl
Posts: 393 - Karma: 67
Word. And I agree....he has way bigger issues then a girl that need to be addressed. He needs to deal with his underlying issues first, and your best move as his friend is to help him out with his depression/suicidal thoughts/etc, even if that means getting him to work with a professional.
May 17 2011 12:45PM
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futbol
Posts: 319 - Karma: 10

Somewhat of an oxymoron but it's cool, I realize that now. My bad.

I stayed up and talked to him until like 3 in the morning. He was like crying and shit and I just calmed him down. All seems well so far...

May 17 2011 12:47PM
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Jib-Ninja
Posts: 2819 - Karma: 20
Back in like 8th grade my best friend and his hot ass girlfriend broke up, i swear she was the hottest girl i have seen in my life up to this point. i fell head over heels for her, and then we ended up dating..i was so happy/amazed i was actually dating her. We dated for like 3 days, then she broke up with me and ended up dating my best friend again that same day. Turns out she was just dating me to get back at him.

I was so fucking upset/depressed. The girl of my dreams was just using me to get back at my best friend. But that helped me out in the long run, you just have to learn to fuck over bitches before they can fuck you over. I dont get attached to any girl that i feel will fuck me over in any way.
May 17 2011 1:12PM
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Jib-Ninja
Posts: 2819 - Karma: 20
Back in like 8th grade my best friend and his hot ass girlfriend broke up, i swear she was the hottest girl i have seen in my life up to this point. i fell head over heels for her, and then we ended up dating..i was so happy/amazed i was actually dating her. We dated for like 3 days, then she broke up with me and ended up dating my best friend again that same day. Turns out she was just dating me to get back at him.

I was so fucking upset/depressed. The girl of my dreams was just using me to get back at my best friend. But that helped me out in the long run, you just have to learn to fuck over bitches before they can fuck you over. I dont get attached to any girl that i feel will fuck me over in any way.
May 17 2011 1:12PM
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Cufe.
Posts: 1950 - Karma: 262
Click for larger image
May 17 2011 1:33PM
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Steve-Brown
Posts: 1894 - Karma: 810

how old are you guys?

like highschool, college..?

ive kinda gone through that, but i just decided i can slave over that and beat a dead horse, or i could just go on with my life and know that in the long run this wont matter in a while, cause im in highschool, but when im 30 who's gonna give  fuck if i got with one girl or another, so i just worry about what will really matter in my life, like friends, and yes im saying this, grades.

for me girls are just icing on the cake, not really crucial, but since he wants this girl so bad, that must mean there’s something missing, not enough love in his fam or something soo...yah thats my rambling response

May 17 2011 1:54PM
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Chubz.
Posts: 13918 - Karma: 25,661
I kinda really agree with this. I did this with the girl i liked (she was my bestfriend, emphasis on was) and i told my friend that she liked, to ask her out. Made her extremely happy and it got her out of my life.
May 17 2011 7:36PM
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*Dos*Planker*
Posts: 2983 - Karma: 168
this
May 17 2011 7:38PM
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AWALLRUS.
Posts: 5762 - Karma: 223
give your friend some weed.

or all 3 of you could smoke some weed together and have a 3some? remember not to make eye contact
May 17 2011 7:40PM
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ORDEAL
Posts: 6386 - Karma: 75
Basically this
May 17 2011 7:42PM
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MiraFFe
Posts: 177 - Karma: 12
Send him a pic of your cock in her mouth...
May 17 2011 8:06PM
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Obi-Wan-Jenobi
Posts: 951 - Karma: 119
your probably not the best guy to talk to him right now. get another close friend or parent. or tell her to talk to him. or the best option say shes not that great anyway.
May 17 2011 9:11PM
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