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Rate Funny Smoking Stories Thread

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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252

This might be a repost, but I searched and found things similar, but not what I had in mind.

I had an idea where everyone would post their favorite personal smoking story and then the person below them would rate it (similar to the Rate A Newschooler, and Rate My Icon threads). They don't have to be funny, but anything that was memorable can be posted.

Go.

May 8 2011 7:19PM
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Nathn
Posts: 2408 - Karma: 63
I hot boxed an 8-person tent on friday.
May 8 2011 7:27PM
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ElbridgeGerry
Posts: 5902 - Karma: -27
I got high last night and watched The Watchmen.


I ate macaroni. That is all.

zomfgsofunnyraite?
May 8 2011 7:28PM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
I smoked behind a police station.
May 8 2011 7:29PM
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skijunkiedtm
Posts: 9229 - Karma: 61
I did coke.
May 8 2011 7:31PM
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860_Shred.
Posts: 58 - Karma: 10

Ballsy.. do we rate out of 10? if so, 6/10

i have no fun smoking stories i can think of...... besides just smoking a ton the last weekend the home mountain was open

May 8 2011 7:32PM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
I did meth
May 8 2011 7:33PM
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OhGoodLawd
Posts: 73 - Karma: 10
I'll start it off. Me and my two friends walked to another friend's house to see if he wanted to blaze. He came outside when we were just about to get him and says "Yo, I'm actually about to leave and go to the smoke shop, you guys wanna go?" We all got in this guy's car who we somewhat knew and drove off. It was a pretty long drive so we hit a few bowls and I ended up eating some weed and resin from the bowl for no reason (I guess I just wanted to get real baked). So we get to the smoke shop and we're moderately high (Just chillin' I guess) and go inside. The driver ends up buying a highlighter batty which is a batty inside a regular-looking highlighter. One of the coolest things I've ever seen. So we get back in the car and head home.We hit some more bowls and then it starts raining. Really hard. By this point, my phone is dead (remember that) and we get back to our friend's house with everyone and start hitting more bowls with some kids that were showing up for this party at the house. We're pretty high at this point and are just chilling eating cookies (regular cookies) and a few hours go by. Now, by this point the rain has gotten worse and tornado sirens start going off. Well, I was too high to think to plug my phone in and let my parents know where I was, but I didn't care, I had cookies. We end up hitting more bowls and even my friend's bong which he keeps in an old trash can that's never used. It's about 10:00 pm at this point and we are ripped. We decide to head home. The driver drives us back to a neighborhood next to my friend's while playing "Lights" by Bassnectar and we're going nuts just laughing our asses off and each other. We got dropped off at the neighborhood next to my friend's because we needed to sober up a little because my friend's parents were home. So we give the driver some weed for the rides (a little bit) and I guess the house closest to his car so us giving him weed when we got out and they came out yelling. I have no idea what they said, but we started hauling ass to the nearest house we knew. We end up at this girl's house. Well, she wasn't home yet so we chilled in her backyard for about 45 minutes. She finally gets home and lets us in and we end up passing out in her basement for the night. The next day my parents are pissed and end up telliing me that there was a huge storm and a tornado that ripped apart a county close to us. Pretty successful night.
May 8 2011 7:38PM
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ShredThePowdah.
Posts: 394 - Karma: 19

Sure you did..

ha

May 8 2011 7:38PM
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skijunkiedtm
Posts: 9229 - Karma: 61
I wake up with meth.
May 8 2011 7:41PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
Yes.
May 8 2011 7:41PM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
I wake up with meth as my sugar for my coffee. I also use meth as a condom when I have sex.
May 8 2011 7:43PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
Remember when you told me that everything you say on NS is the complete truth?
May 8 2011 7:44PM
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pomme-de-terre
Posts: 3915 - Karma: 703
what the fuck is a "smoking story"? are we supposed to just all post shit like "yeah, this one time i got high, went 54-0 in black ops and killed an entire bag of Doritos, then my mom asked me why i didnt do the dishes and i said "i forgot", cause i was so high bro."?

May 8 2011 7:45PM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
No, 90 percent. You can figure out which 90 percent.
May 8 2011 7:46PM
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860_Shred.
Posts: 58 - Karma: 10

who are you again?

May 8 2011 7:48PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
It's whatever you want it to be. Just something memorable.
May 8 2011 7:48PM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
You're karma is the same as your post! Jerk off right now to reward yourself!
May 8 2011 7:50PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
He deserves it.
May 8 2011 7:51PM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
Anytime any number in my karma matches any number in my post count I reward myself with a free jerk
May 8 2011 7:54PM
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860_Shred.
Posts: 58 - Karma: 10

WHOA!!!!! my karmas been at 0 for almost a year and ahalf!!!!

May 8 2011 7:58PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51661 - Karma: 162,374
I smoked weed with my friend jason and pete. We sat on petes couch. Nothing exciting happened, nobody died. It was nothing like that, we just, well, we just sat there. I for one choose to live my life dangerously. No seatbelt, no condoms, jaywalking, double corking my way through life, but I'm above the influence of sitting on petes couch
May 8 2011 7:59PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
Obviously a 10
May 8 2011 8:00PM
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JeremyClarkson
Posts: 1599 - Karma: 1,934

i cleared a bong of hash from a motel in eugene, oregon today. i live in massachusetts.

May 8 2011 8:06PM
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11954 - Karma: 12,298
I smoked a weed plant once. I felt funny afterwards. I ate a bunch of food and never got full. It was awesome.
May 8 2011 8:07PM
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Craze
Posts: 1132 - Karma: 423

After police walked into our baked out house looking for a runaway we bounced to hit taco where we know the whole staff. Smoked my first Roor in the ladies restroom of TBell with the whole crew including managers while my brother was still taking orders on his headset.

also my first month smoking a gravity bong was the first month i smoked kind bud. Put two and two together and i think it was a great month couldnt tell you tho it was a hazy one.

May 8 2011 8:25PM
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860_Shred.
Posts: 58 - Karma: 10
whoa you should write a script for a movie about that!
May 8 2011 8:43PM
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C00N3Y
Posts: 563 - Karma: 12
woh woh woh what?
May 8 2011 9:10PM
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Motes
Posts: 1840 - Karma: 90
I deffently have some better ones but last night was a pretty good night.  Started up going to pick up from my homie, smoked a pack of his true bong.  Then went back and chilled at my friends house for a little bit.  We went to another friends house because he was back from his track meet around 8 and smoked more bong loads.  Then we decided to go on a night longboarding sesh which was mad fun.  Hit up mcdonallds for some muchies and the manager knew, and he goes, "I have to help out my fellow somkers" and hooked us up with anything we wanted for the 7 dollers we had left.  Met up with a few kids after and smoked more bong packs on a closed golf course in our town.  Such a great night haha. 
May 8 2011 9:12PM
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ShredThePowdah.
Posts: 394 - Karma: 19
haha :O
May 8 2011 9:16PM
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IanAvery-Leaf
Posts: 9931 - Karma: 9,399
.
May 8 2011 9:17PM
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Swaggermager
Posts: 2576 - Karma: 950
I lol't
May 8 2011 9:26PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
Haha what's so suprising about that? Dude wanted to get baked.
May 8 2011 9:44PM
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ShredThePowdah.
Posts: 394 - Karma: 19
hahahhha this
May 8 2011 9:47PM
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Big_Spence
Posts: 16177 - Karma: 4,352
real story:


i was skiing with a group of friends at a resort we'd never been to. we met up with a fellow group of ns'ers, talked for a while, skied some laps, the usual. after a few runs the topic of weed came up and as luck would have it, we were all smokers. so they told us to follow them in to the trees and they took us to a bomb little smoke shack balls deep in the woods. we all unclick, go inside and proceed to arrange ourselves in a circle. finally once we all get situated we realize that the only piece we have is my bubbler. normally this wouldn't be a problem at all, but none of us had any water. for whatever reason we decided that someone should melt snow in their mouths and spit it back into the piece. in theory, it sounded great; snow always melts in your mouth right?


well we load a couple bowls, smoke them and then get up to leave. i blow the ash out, then turn the bubbler upside down to clear the water. all that slowly drips out is a flem-like liquid that made us all gag. true story.
May 9 2011 1:09AM
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killabees
Posts: 8558 - Karma: 494
i got arrested. i lold
May 9 2011 1:24AM
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Big_Spence
Posts: 16177 - Karma: 4,352
i honestly don't remember.
just being stupid idiot kids i suppose.

can't claim to be much smarter now, but i promise you will never do that again. haha
May 9 2011 1:27AM
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dex.
Posts: 2973 - Karma: 62
ultimate lels right jea >>> https://newschoolers.com/ns/forums/readthread/thread_id/500817/page/9/


but this one time i got so high i became a shoe
May 9 2011 1:28AM
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uosdwiSrjewoH
Posts: 4220 - Karma: 122
best smoking story of the whole year: i couldn't find my phone, looked for it for about 10 minutes. finally found it under a blanket. retrieved phone and replaced blanket. then my friend couldn't find his controller. turns out i had it. proceeded to look for my controller for 5 minutes. found under the same blanket as before. i laughed, i ate, then i went home.

Click for larger image
May 9 2011 1:39AM
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wait.what
Posts: 1694 - Karma: 529
My friend had just purchased a '78 Pontiac Catalina, blood red, pulls up in my neighborhood, gas mask bong on. I knew then it was going to be a fucked afternoon. This was at 2pm. We hit a few fat bowls and head back to his house, pickup his skinhead brother and black friend (irony*) and then smoke some more. We have 4 people, need +1 for the full experience, so we pick up our friends dealer, who is younger than us all. His dad comes out to the car to see if we all have seatbelts(wtf?) anyways, this guy hasn't slept in 36 hours, so he's pretty tired, but still down to get high. We drive around for 5 hours getting getting high until it's dark. By then it's like, 9 at night. I'm ripped right. So I text my parents with a text whic what I thought said I was sleeping at my friends house. We end up hotboxing the car with weed and cig smoke and getting mcdicks while cruising the highway for 4 hours, now. I have a history of stomach issues and I was feeling a bit funky. But we pull over beside a forest and have a nap, I was freaking out because I thought the spiders were telling me jokes about Jews in gas chambers. So I made the driver move us to a church parking lot. We sleep for a few hours, and then the sun rises, still baked out of our minds we decide to head back to my friends house, the sleepy drug dealer was so far gone that we would put joints in his mouth, let him inhale and then poke his stomach so he'd exhale... Hilarious. Anywho, my stomach is feeling mad nasty, and my friend is telling me he has to wait an hour until his mom leaves. I'm litterally shitting myself. It was horrible. So when she eventually leaves I get up his front porch, his fat little brother answers the door eating bacon, and I lose it, green all over his porch, his kidbrother asks, why's he puking? "food poisoning" was the excuse. After that I slept for 5 days, it was horriible
May 9 2011 1:40AM
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BravoWhiskey5280
Posts: 4020 - Karma: 520
I was smoking the other day with my buddy Freddy and I looked over at him and he was drooling on himself. Funniest shit ever lol
May 9 2011 4:53AM
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killabees
Posts: 8558 - Karma: 494
nec
May 9 2011 8:00AM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
Haha so great. I laughed pretty hard at some parts. 10/10
May 9 2011 7:44PM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
I used to a bowl, but then I was walking and I was wondering how I fires rats?
May 9 2011 9:33PM
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EthanJPAskier
Posts: 1668 - Karma: 248
Saturday night, decided to try and shotgun into a girl's mouth...J rolled with receipt paper basically started to engulf my hand in flames as i was about to exhale to her and i coughed smoke all over her face as my hand began to light aflame... good times.
May 9 2011 9:48PM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
what happens to me if I piss in a fire?
May 9 2011 9:53PM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
Oh yeah that might gross
May 9 2011 10:35PM
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SPskier543
Posts: 2413 - Karma: 324
That's debatable. Perhaps if you drink really alcoholic stuff it may intensify the flame.
May 9 2011 10:44PM
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AGOF
Posts: 2038 - Karma: 3,602
what if your piss was alcoholic, and the flame rushed up the stream and into your dick? This is the primary reason i dont drink
May 9 2011 11:15PM
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SPskier543
Posts: 2413 - Karma: 324
Just don't drink and piss into flames, or try not to. I think there may be a treadmill kind of affect though, so it may take a good amount of time for the flame to reach your genitalia, giving you some time to react maybe? Who knows...
May 9 2011 11:17PM
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D3NZ3L
Posts: 556 - Karma: 37
We were at mt hood meadows, it was night and 3 of us had just smoked alot. We were walking to go buy fries cuz we were fucking hungry. The guy new we were stoned so he was chill and gave us a ton of fries for very cheap. One friend is infront of us and turns around puts his hood on and yells "i am a syth lord!!" we laugh hard and he turns around with the fries in his hands and hits a pole tht was in the middle of the hallway. He spills the fries everywhere and my other friend jumps on the floor and starts eating the fries off of the floor. They were everywhere. it was funny
May 9 2011 11:34PM
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