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Death by puking.

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PagesHouse
Posts: 6024 - Karma: 104
Pretty sure death by puking will be the result of my night. I was poisoned by food this morning in combination with getting excessively drunk last night and can't even keep liquids in my stomach. The only thing that was successfully digested was one orange popsicle today at approximately 3:30pm.

My blood sugar is so low that I fainted today, but I CANNOT EAT.... or really move around at all.



Moral of the story is..... I need some laughs. Prreeeeeese help meh smile?
May 7 2011 10:34PM
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Get.Kronk
Posts: 2543 - Karma: 226
last time i puked that much i died too...
May 7 2011 10:36PM
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ReignMan
Posts: 1852 - Karma: 226
http://www.ratemyteachers.com/david-levine/2287753-t
May 7 2011 10:39PM
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Jane6
Posts: 5359 - Karma: 4,506
May 7 2011 10:41PM
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AWALLRUS.
Posts: 5762 - Karma: 223
can you still fap?
May 7 2011 10:43PM
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chuck_testa
Posts: 1469 - Karma: 52
you could come up with a new animal for the "cool animal of the day" thread
May 7 2011 10:49PM
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panojibber
Posts: 3382 - Karma: 216


Seems appropriate.

: )
May 7 2011 10:50PM
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Brenone
Posts: 4944 - Karma: 296
May 7 2011 10:51PM
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PagesHouse
Posts: 6024 - Karma: 104
You're so right! I've been slacking..... I'll do that now!


OH and this thread might've been a really bad idea because I just found out laughing makes me feel like I need to puke.
May 7 2011 10:53PM
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Jane6
Posts: 5359 - Karma: 4,506
hahahah omg I laughed so much at the fat kid my face is hurting
May 7 2011 10:55PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
3:07 of your shake weight video

i love the way she sticks her tongue out and says "GLAD YOURE BACK" ....shakeshakeshakeshake
May 7 2011 10:56PM
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Rosbif
Posts: 2543 - Karma: 930
I love how much the lady is laughing too! Ahh fatkids, natures chubby little comedians.
May 7 2011 11:01PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,273
eat some ritz crackers or saltines. put them in your mouth in small bites and chew the fuck out of the tiny bite until it's basically just paste that you can swallow. eat in serious moderation for a little while and if it gets better eat some more crackers and drink some gatorade. once crackers and gatorade go down okay try to eat some ramen noodles
May 7 2011 11:11PM
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PagesHouse
Posts: 6024 - Karma: 104
Trust me I've tried everything : / and in very tiny small slow bites..... I can get it down but once it hits my stomach it comes right back up. Even liquids other than water.... ginger ale and OJ were huge failures.
May 7 2011 11:14PM
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The_Big_Tuna
Posts: 799 - Karma: 75
Some jack daniels oughta do the trick
May 7 2011 11:15PM
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DsMoK3
Posts: 467 - Karma: 198
The best detox is retox brah
May 7 2011 11:17PM
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Mr.Gaga
Posts: 2021 - Karma: 542
Yeah I remember some bad nights, felt bad and couldn't eat untill like 5-6pm the day after, just wait drink a bit of water just to keep you hydrated but realy no that much or you'll puke it. oh yeah and man^
May 7 2011 11:21PM
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DW.
Posts: 2683 - Karma: 74
threads
May 7 2011 11:32PM
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Happy.
Posts: 1248 - Karma: 9
So I was in a public restroom at the mall yesterday. I saw a guy's feet in a stall when I walked in...and there was a very stinky smell, so I assumed he was taking a major dump. So I got real quiet for a little bit and let everything settle down. You could hear a faint grunting sound and the ever so slightly "kerplunk" of a turd dropping from the anus. Other that this guys shut you could hear a pin drop.

Then I let out a war cry as loud as possible and threw myself against the stall door as hard as I could, causing a loud bang. I bet that guy hasn't been that scared in this life because he yelled in a very surprised fashion and said, "WHAT THE FoCK!" really loud, and stated to try to stand up. I could hear him fumbling with his pants because his belt buckle was making noise.

I was long gone before he made it out of the stall though.
May 7 2011 11:36PM
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Travapple.
Posts: 6787 - Karma: 88
ganja
May 8 2011 12:15AM
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jca
Posts: 4171 - Karma: 6,311
May 8 2011 12:20AM
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lineskier10
Posts: 11339 - Karma: 796
buy some pedialyte, its for kids but it works for adults too and it is made for your exact situation
May 8 2011 12:21AM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287
used to drink that shit by the oz in 9th grade haha re-hydrates you real nice with those electrolytes
May 8 2011 12:59AM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
I know it sounds fucking stupid and like a typical NS response but...

Have you tried smoking maybe a leeeetle bit of green? Not too long ago I came home from school and was barfing a shit ton, and that night I felt sick so I lit up a bowl and did not feel like I had to puke at all. That was the first time I had ever used weed for anything medically related.

It worked wonders.
May 8 2011 1:10AM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
also for lols


Blackout Baseball brought to you by Funny Tube
May 8 2011 1:13AM
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POWDER.RANGER
Posts: 1698 - Karma: -24
quote for epicness
May 8 2011 1:21AM
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Brenone
Posts: 4944 - Karma: 296
I dont even.....
May 8 2011 1:25AM
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HKrass
Posts: 396 - Karma: 43
Click for larger image
May 8 2011 1:31AM
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Broseph_Stalin
Posts: 3745 - Karma: 178
hahaha o wow
May 8 2011 1:39AM
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Dwarftosser1
Posts: 2602 - Karma: 951
hahah a little on the strange side
May 8 2011 1:42AM
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hot.pocket
Posts: 4226 - Karma: 10,626
I haven't laughed that hard at something on NS in forever
May 8 2011 2:25AM
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KillaSteeze
Posts: 3329 - Karma: 351
haha what about the little white one
May 8 2011 2:29AM
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fuck.your.tits
Posts: 935 - Karma: 20
Ha! I was puking all night at morning to, then I had to go to work.
May 8 2011 2:43AM
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gnarles.
Posts: 2587 - Karma: 130
that blackout baseball was pretty funny
May 8 2011 2:47AM
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Conker
Posts: 1379 - Karma: 6
that kid drinking milk was a pusss i woulda drank that whole fucking thing
May 8 2011 3:24AM
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hoodratz47
Posts: 12020 - Karma: 9,475
BHAAAA


that reminds me of one time up at timber line i was taking a shit and a guy came in and in the stall next to mine he ran in. and started taking a power shit. like. soo loud and smelly and hes grunting and saying things in German. and hes flushing whilst shiting... and i just burst out in laugher.. and he is shiting like no tomrow.. man....fun times.
May 8 2011 5:36AM
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cwillygood
Posts: 6831 - Karma: 1,829
hahahaha sounds awful
May 8 2011 8:34AM
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PagesHouse
Posts: 6024 - Karma: 104
I smoke everyday so yes.... I kept up with my normal routine. Helps stop the actual act of puking for sure but I still have the constant feeling in my stomach.




p.s. thanks for the laughs brothas : )
May 8 2011 9:24AM
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PagesHouse
Posts: 6024 - Karma: 104
OH and one thing I didn't mention last night because I couldn't think about food....


I've been a vegetarian for awhile. I love bacon. The ONE TIME I decide to get bacon on my egg & cheese breakfast sandwich yesterday morning and BAM food poisoning. I'm so sad that bacon is now ruined for me : ( So so so so so sad.
May 8 2011 11:03AM
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Jane6
Posts: 5359 - Karma: 4,506
I'm so sorry to hear that :(((

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May 8 2011 11:35AM
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belden...
Posts: 2914 - Karma: 1,274
Dont you get sick from meat if you have gone without it for a long time?
May 8 2011 11:51AM
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PagesHouse
Posts: 6024 - Karma: 104
Yes, but my vegetarianism has kind of been withering away in the past few months.... I've eaten turkey that my friends shot and a little bit of chicken and was absolutely fine. This was definitely something contaminated.
May 8 2011 12:01PM
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Travapple.
Posts: 6787 - Karma: 88
May 8 2011 12:10PM
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hoodratz47
Posts: 12020 - Karma: 9,475
it was a bad egg... that would be my guess.. or you got nasty bug. just a conencadence



never give up the bacon.
May 8 2011 1:48PM
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PagesHouse
Posts: 6024 - Karma: 104
I actually just talked to someone who said it couldn't have been the bacon because bacon is cured or something. It was either a bad egg or it was contaminated with something else (like it touched raw chicken or something). I also know there were issues with bad eggs a couple months ago so I'll blame the eggs, but you know when you get really sick after eating something how it kind of just ruins it for you? It's so sad.
May 8 2011 2:20PM
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Jane6
Posts: 5359 - Karma: 4,506
hahaha pic related

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May 8 2011 3:39PM
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ECBJERKOFF
Posts: 16 - Karma: 10
+1 for me in the count
May 8 2011 3:49PM
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ECBJERKOFF
Posts: 16 - Karma: 10
Actually +2 because I haven't been on the internet since last night, the shower this morning resulted in two
May 8 2011 3:49PM
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HKrass
Posts: 396 - Karma: 43
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May 8 2011 4:31PM
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