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Ski Jokes

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Most-D
Posts: 729 - Karma: 1,088
NS,

I need your best ski-related jokes or puns.

Thanks!
May 5 2011 5:30PM
16 5
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Crispy.
Posts: 6109 - Karma: 7,683
Pee in her butt


How do you get to Chads from the bottom of Alta?
Ski Patrol Blew it up
May 5 2011 5:58PM
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plorr
Posts: 3131 - Karma: 528
I'll nosepress your box if you lipslide my rail.
May 5 2011 6:59PM
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.jersey
Posts: 1925 - Karma: 9
whats the difference between a ski instructor and God?

God doesn't think he is a ski instructor.



How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

3. One to film it, one to screw it in, and one to sit on the side and scream obnoxiously.
May 5 2011 7:05PM
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Toby.Dickson
Posts: 317 - Karma: 679
hahaha gold
May 6 2011 2:30AM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
-Knock knock.
-Who's there?
-B.
-B who?
-YEZZZUUUR B ARF ARF IN DA BUILDIN
May 6 2011 2:39AM
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wesley.
Posts: 6483 - Karma: 1,049
HAHA HOLY CRAP YES
"KILLA BEEZ ON DA SWURMM"
May 6 2011 3:14PM
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Maximumsushi
Posts: 7837 - Karma: 3,351
How do you know if a ski guide is sitting next to you in a bar?
Don't worry, he'll tell you.

What did the telemarker say when he ran out of pot?
"Dude these bindings suck."

Telemark is Norwegian for "Hey guys! Wait up!"
May 6 2011 3:21PM
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RubberSoul
Posts: 11249 - Karma: 14,642
hahaha
May 6 2011 3:26PM
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cultrara
Posts: 5147 - Karma: 46,850

how does a snowboarder introduce himself?

"sorry bro"

May 6 2011 3:30PM
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Baskilla
Posts: 409 - Karma: 201
GET BLUNTED
May 6 2011 4:48PM
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Baskilla
Posts: 409 - Karma: 201
...AND GET REAL HIGH HITTING THE PIPE...THOSE ARE BOTH WEED JOKES
May 6 2011 4:49PM
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esotericjive
Posts: 1889 - Karma: 1,445
What do ski instructors and snowboard instrutors have in common?
They both can't snowboard.

What is the difference between a beginning snowboarder and a snowboard instructor?
An hour and a half.

Why'd the skier cross the road?
To go to a restaurant, he was hungry.


May 6 2011 10:08PM
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cultrara
Posts: 5147 - Karma: 46,850
he was doin a hand drag!
May 6 2011 10:11PM
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.squirrely.
Posts: 7563 - Karma: 7,546

How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

27.  One to do it, 8 to say they can do it better, and the rest to sit in the landing.


What do you call a snowboarder with no girlfriend/boyfriend?
 Homeless

if you have a car with 3 snowboarders in the back seat, what do you call the driver?
 Officer!

What's the difference between a pizza and a snowboarder?

 A pizza can feed a family.


What's the difference between a snowboarder and a bag of shit?
the bag


there is a snowboard jokes cult, but i think its dead

https://www.newschoolers.com/ns/cult/home/id/4174/t/Snowboard+Jokes!!!/





May 6 2011 10:33PM
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a_pla5tic_bag
Posts: 9215 - Karma: 5,398
those are just black people jokes with black people replaced with snowboarders.
May 6 2011 10:35PM
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[evan]
Posts: 5628 - Karma: 117
its funny cause its black
May 6 2011 10:37PM
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.squirrely.
Posts: 7563 - Karma: 7,546
you got it
May 6 2011 10:40PM
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james6345789
Posts: 4763 - Karma: 467
Threads
May 6 2011 11:16PM
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.jersey
Posts: 1925 - Karma: 9
hahahahahahaha i lol'd
May 7 2011 12:48AM
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ukskier999
Posts: 58 - Karma: 13
What's the worst thing about snowblading? Telling your parents that you're gay
May 7 2011 3:55AM
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Jabe
Posts: 567 - Karma: 240
wasnt taht from tosh.0
May 7 2011 11:51AM
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Mr.Turtle
Posts: 3690 - Karma: 96
this is gold
May 7 2011 12:24PM
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WikiWiki
Posts: 5584 - Karma: 426
womens competitive skiing is a joke





right guys?
May 7 2011 12:30PM
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kingskier
Posts: 1045 - Karma: 11
i dont find it funny. just plain unfair that they get paid to ski. why the fuck cant i have a vagina!
May 7 2011 3:53PM
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GNARwalls
Posts: 1287 - Karma: 528
i literally loled at all of them! haha
May 7 2011 4:46PM
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ski@jaypeak2
Posts: 2802 - Karma: 429
whats the difference between a snowboarder and a vaccuum?

Where you attach the dirtbag
May 7 2011 4:50PM
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skiierman
Posts: 28699 - Karma: -5,563
jon's gay looking outerwear.
May 7 2011 4:55PM
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AWALLRUS.
Posts: 5762 - Karma: 223
hah this is funny
May 7 2011 5:55PM
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15081 - Karma: 9,158
WHOA REALLY I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED
May 7 2011 6:58PM
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snowbombz
Posts: 2456 - Karma: 96
why do women skiers spin left?


because they have no rights
May 7 2011 8:15PM
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.RYAN66
Posts: 5381 - Karma: 235
haha this is my favorite so far.
May 7 2011 8:38PM
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p-fo
Posts: 9372 - Karma: 6,155
I'll straightline your chute if you lipslide my rail.
May 7 2011 8:41PM
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PJS.
Posts: 11943 - Karma: 895
its funny because its true
May 7 2011 8:50PM
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Z-Juice
Posts: 3151 - Karma: 1,504
attention lindsayjibber
May 7 2011 9:34PM
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justinstlaurent
Posts: 654 - Karma: 27
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
May 7 2011 10:14PM
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skitheWest.
Posts: 2304 - Karma: 1,276
ahahah this.
May 7 2011 10:28PM
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skitheWest.
Posts: 2304 - Karma: 1,276
ahahaahah
May 7 2011 10:31PM
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skitheWest.
Posts: 2304 - Karma: 1,276
ahahaha definetly one of the best ones
May 7 2011 10:34PM
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mikem
Posts: 898 - Karma: 8,311
Let's keep this going this is hilarious
May 7 2011 10:51PM
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kzrstf
Posts: 2778 - Karma: 695
hahahaha
May 8 2011 1:51AM
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BASEDRILEY
Posts: 1451 - Karma: 898
Woman's skiing.





Sorry OP.
May 8 2011 2:29AM
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Karkoskier
Posts: 2999 - Karma: 4,661
Why couldn't Helen Keller ski?

Because she was a woman...
May 8 2011 9:43AM
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geet
Posts: 2436 - Karma: 6
yes. daniel tosh invented that joke


...are you fucking kidding me?
May 8 2011 5:49PM
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kirbstopper
Posts: 322 - Karma: 662
Why do lifties only get 30 minute breaks?

Because any longer and you'd have to re-train them.
May 8 2011 6:05PM
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Most-D
Posts: 729 - Karma: 1,088
Quite like this.
May 8 2011 6:56PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
AHAHAHAHAHAHA no.
May 8 2011 7:02PM
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emilyskis
Posts: 326 - Karma: 119
hahahahaha
May 8 2011 7:18PM
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BillyDwyre
Posts: 124 - Karma: 10
i thought that was pretty funny, +k
May 8 2011 9:33PM
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Bi-ShredinalGuy
Posts: 1075 - Karma: 321
how many skiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
6: 1 to do it and 5 to critique the turns
May 8 2011 10:02PM
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Powderhauser
Posts: 546 - Karma: 38
Whats the difference between a skihill and a hotel room bed?

You grind rails on one and _ in the other
May 8 2011 10:16PM
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