Replying to Questioning myself

So I'm sitting here after my last day of skiing of this season yesterday. It lasted 2.5 hours before I re-tore the thing in my shoulder thats been re-injured about 6 times this season...but whos counting. Anyways skiing to me right now is at an all time low even though my progression was at a high.

Not to be melodramatic or anything...I just need some advice, reasoning, philosophy..anything really. I'll even take hate. Just want someone to lift me up I guess.

This season was my second in the park on twin tips. I snow bladed for a year before but that doesn't count. My progression has been decent I guess considering the parks i ride on are not very big.

This last season i didn't progress much at all really..no new rail tricks down and jump game went from pencil 5s to pencil 7s on bigger jumps. Now riding through the park doing my pretzel 2's out and 3's off small jumps with no grabs had been fun and all, but like you I want to progress.

So first this year I targeted rails only to destroy my shoulder on an unlucky fall. Took it easy for a month but periodically tweaked it ending a few nights in the lodge. When it got better I had mental blocks on rails sometimes not even getting up on them. Screw em till next year.Then I tried progression on jumps. got a pencil 7 without being able to grab 3 or 5. This lead to a concussion...out again for a while.

By this time it's spring and I see my season melting away. Go a few times and get the 720 down again but few to little rails. Yesterday I graduated from 20ish foot jumps to spinning 35-40 footers taking it easy trying to get my grab 360s down. Ended up pooping my shoulder again in the air and landed the trick. So my seasons now over whether I like it or not.

Now I'm sitting here thinking...is it worth it? The sport I love more than anything is eating me away. I love going for chill rides but as you all know progression is whats so addicting. With my progression being limited and weak as it is...I'm finding my self questioning myself as a skier. i wear the clothes, act the part, and now i want to perform.

I want to keep with it but my thought is..."how am i ever going to be as good as the guys I watch if I'm getting hurt on simple small things."

Just need some love I guess...maybe its post season PMS...I don't know. Any reply is +k really. Thanks to any one that cares.