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EXPELLING THC OUT OF YOUR BODY

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ImNotARacist
Posts: 5136 - Karma: -1,030
Does anyone know a sure fire way of getting thc out of you system. There is a possibility of me taking a drug test. I smoked a small amount of weed today from a bong (less than your pinky in diameter) and 2 hits from a joint. The test could occur on monday.

I was thinking as long as I go skateboarding all day sunday and drink lots of water the whole weekend I would be golden. Im also going to be drinking a good amount of beer this weekend so that will make me piss a lot

+++K for anyone who has some information for me on whether Im going to be fine or not and anyone who has some tips on speeding up the process.
Mar 11 2011 4:08PM
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zagfan5
Posts: 2608 - Karma: 144
if it happens monday. you wont pass.
Mar 11 2011 4:11PM
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corona
Posts: 12803 - Karma: 32,817
drink battery acid.
Mar 11 2011 4:12PM
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fireballin
Posts: 392 - Karma: 13
Were u clean before u smoked today
Mar 11 2011 4:12PM
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Winston_Smith
Posts: 722 - Karma: 35
^^this it works for me all the time
Mar 11 2011 4:14PM
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gregorio
Posts: 2372 - Karma: 151
just give yourself an enema once an hour every hour for the next two days.
Mar 11 2011 4:15PM
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m.brus
Posts: 1597 - Karma: 103
why would it matter? there is no chance they would believe him if he said it was his first time.
Mar 11 2011 4:15PM
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DIX~
Posts: 4695 - Karma: 6,502
You're fucked, enjoy
Mar 11 2011 4:16PM
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iggs
Posts: 827 - Karma: 39
eat your poop
Mar 11 2011 4:16PM
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yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
drink shit tons of water, and cranberry juice. just flush your system by peeing as much as possible. pee pee pee.

i dont know why cranberry juice works, but apparently it does
Mar 11 2011 4:16PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51738 - Karma: 163,427
Call a priest and have an exorcism
Mar 11 2011 4:26PM
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artfullydodged
Posts: 8358 - Karma: 1,674
drink a lot, exercise, hope for the best
Mar 11 2011 4:27PM
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Mr.Turtle
Posts: 3690 - Karma: 96
this. and exercise
Mar 11 2011 4:27PM
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sherwood4099
Posts: 1173 - Karma: 22
Skateboarding wont do anything... you will fail. Try saunaing multiple times at the gym and sweatign it out.

You might not be able to do anything though
Mar 11 2011 4:28PM
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notadoctor
Posts: 408 - Karma: 661
i don't know about the validity of this but a friend told me THC is fat soluble so people with less fat have an easier time getting it out of their systems. are you a fatty?
Mar 11 2011 4:29PM
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japanada
Posts: 13785 - Karma: 1,956
h2o, a lot of it. Sweat and work out. And spend some bones on a detrox drink and follow the directions. If that was your 1st time, you should be fine.
Mar 11 2011 4:30PM
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ALaw
Posts: 2616 - Karma: 1,552
Sweat a shit ton, eat greasy foods, drink shit tons of water and cranberry juice and you might pass
Mar 11 2011 4:30PM
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LAME.
Posts: 5795 - Karma: 2,446
1.Water
2.Cranberry juice
3.Sauna
...Repeat...
My friend smoked and did a drug test 3 days after(he smoked daily), and drank a bunch and saunaed a bunch and it came back clean.
Mar 11 2011 4:31PM
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ImNotARacist
Posts: 5136 - Karma: -1,030
7 months clean.


The post in this thread are horrible. Good ol NSG

If anything I will just dilute my piss.
Mar 11 2011 4:32PM
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BravoWhiskey5280
Posts: 4020 - Karma: 520
Go to your local smoothie place and take a fuck ton of wheat grass shots. Best natural detox for your body. My buddy got clean in two days from wheat grass, so it works for sure.
Mar 11 2011 4:32PM
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introvert
Posts: 4718 - Karma: 1,482
This.


Mar 11 2011 4:33PM
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ImNotARacist
Posts: 5136 - Karma: -1,030
I read this at a couple places.
Mar 11 2011 4:33PM
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pr4l
Posts: 348 - Karma: 56
If where you pee in the cup is private and youre alone you can always piss half in the cup/fill the rest with warm water. My friend did that once when his parents tested him and it came back clean. I'd use this as a last resort though and he was high when he took the drug test.....so I guess it works?
Mar 11 2011 5:03PM
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dex.
Posts: 2973 - Karma: 62
go to a smoke shop and buy niacin. shit burns but will clean you out in one day
Mar 11 2011 5:04PM
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RubberSoul
Posts: 11249 - Karma: 14,642
because how much you have smoked has everything to do with how fast it gets out of your system. if you dont smoke then smoked once and tried to get clean itd take a very short time. if someone told me they were gonna drug test me itd take forever
Mar 11 2011 5:06PM
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qbehr
Posts: 1044 - Karma: 686
take an eyedrop fill it with chlorine, tape it under your nuts and when your done peeing drop two drops in the cup and it should be negative
Mar 11 2011 5:08PM
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Cthulhu
Posts: 528 - Karma: 21
thats not the point, if he hasnt burned before that day than the traces in his system are going to be far smaller and thus dissapear far quicker.
Mar 11 2011 6:27PM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
pretty much all the advice here is urban legend with little to no actual scientific theory backing it.

basically, do cardio super hard, burning as much fat as you can until about 24 hours before the test. then start pounding food. Start eating hella food, doesnt matter what, just eat. the reason is that you dont want your body to have to burn any fat for energy, you want your body to just be burning off the calories that you consumed. this will inhibit thc from being released from where it is stored, in your fat, into your body.


At home test: just pound water, till your pissing clear, and then pop a multi-vitamin with a bunch of b-vitamins in it about 30-45 mins before the test. the b vitamins will turn your piss yellow, making it look like normal, not dilluted piss.

Lab Test: do everything above but start loading creatine right now. 5 grams 4 times a day. creatine concentration is one of the things that labs test to see if piss is diluted.

the mass majority of detox drinks are just high carb drinks. they perform the same function as the pound water- b vitamin- pound food routine.


Cranberry juice does nothing. it makes you piss because it is a diuretic just like caffeine. it does nothing to flush thc from your fat.


any more questions PM me and i can go into detail.
Mar 11 2011 6:37PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
alcohol/pee in 5 minute intervals
Mar 11 2011 6:41PM
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meth_time.
Posts: 5 - Karma: 10
Masturbation.


Non stop.
Mar 11 2011 6:42PM
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JIBpsy^^
Posts: 2851 - Karma: 36

Perform home Liposuction get that fat that has the THC in it outta there.

Mar 11 2011 6:44PM
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derbski
Posts: 3173 - Karma: 62
so this has to be the 50th thread I have seen on this topic, same story as the flying with weed one. Anyways, do everything that people have been saying and make sure that you tank water the day of the test. to make sure that your piss is still kinda yellow, drink cranberry juice so it doesn't look dilute (vitamin b12 will make it yellow).
Probably most importantly though, make sure that when you pee in the cup that it isnt your first piss that day. Also, don't start peeing in the cup, let out a few seconds of stream before you start going in the cup. A lot of detox kits are bogus, but they can't hurt.
Mar 11 2011 6:51PM
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Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,404
burns calories...
Mar 11 2011 6:52PM
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207
Posts: 8969 - Karma: 3,846
cut a hole in yourself, get a vaccum and suck it out
Mar 11 2011 6:54PM
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Right.Meow
Posts: 107 - Karma: 10
To all people saying water, drinking water days before the test will do nothing, because THC is not water-soluble, it only dilutes water temporarily. Right before you go to take test, drink 8 glasses(ish) of water and take a 50-100mg vitamin b vitamin( B-2 or B-12 are the best) right before you leave to take the test. Also, as someone before said, pee a little bit before aiming towards the cup and also pee outside of the cup at the end, try to only pee mid-stream.
Also, if the test is not monitored, smuggle in some clean urine. that'll work 100% if the donor is not a user.
Mar 11 2011 7:08PM
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squibble
Posts: 4569 - Karma: 104
and blueberries, only eat blueberries and cranberry juice
Mar 11 2011 7:09PM
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WillStart
Posts: 3955 - Karma: 3,192
as has been said, drinking water WON'T HELP. neither will cranberry juice or anything else. weed is not water soluble, no matter how much you pee it won't help.

weed is, however, fat soluble. so exercising can help you burn the fat that the THC has absorbed into. also, if you drink a lot of water right before the test, that can actually help just because it dilutes the levels of THC to undetectable levels. be careful though because if you drink too much water your test results will come up as too diluted and you'll have to retake the test.
Mar 11 2011 7:13PM
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WillStart
Posts: 3955 - Karma: 3,192
because if you smoke habitually it can take 14-30 days for THC to leave your system. but if you smoke only once it's like 5-14 days or something i believe.


Mar 11 2011 7:15PM
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Skittle.
Posts: 2537 - Karma: 718
just take a shit in the cup and say "test this bitch!". boom automatic pass
Mar 11 2011 7:17PM
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saranac_tortex
Posts: 518 - Karma: 14
Drink 3 urban detoxs a day for 3 days. you will be fine. One for breakfast, one for lunch, one for dinner.
Mar 11 2011 7:19PM
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84891jnf92048
Posts: 11552 - Karma: 2,550
this is why i only do heroin; its gone in 72 hours.
Mar 11 2011 7:19PM
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derbski
Posts: 3173 - Karma: 62
just because it isn't water soluble doesn't mean that drinking water won't help. There is no way in hell to get rid of all of the fat reserves in your body that have had pot in them at some point, if that would be the case it would take years for pot to get out of your system. think about it, if THC is testable in your piss, which has little to no fat content, it must be getting out of there somehow. There are plenty of other non-polar molecules besides fat in which THC will act like a solute. Not to mention the far less scientific fact that the more water you drink, the more your kidneys or liver (forgot which one gets rid of THC) will be removing from your body.

Anyways, niacin (effectiveness disputed, but it can't hurt), tons of water, lots of exercise, and a whole ton of water and vitamin B12 on the day of your test so your pee stays yellow.
Mar 11 2011 7:25PM
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Spic-N-SpaN
Posts: 2002 - Karma: 1,465
i don't know if it really works or not, but this kid in my electronics class swore by this drink a 2 Liter of diet mountain dew about 1-3 hours before the test, then drink more for how ever much you pee before the test. he said that the diet stuff in the dew froze your fat cells, so they don't release the thc into your urine. this seems really fishy and i don't know if i would trust it but he was on probation and said he tested clean every time.
Mar 11 2011 7:25PM
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Scrambles
Posts: 2270 - Karma: 63
your icon...
Mar 11 2011 7:27PM
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blatt
Posts: 5584 - Karma: 3,097
Drink bleach. the basic content from it removes the THC from your fat
Mar 11 2011 7:29PM
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derbski
Posts: 3173 - Karma: 62
no, not really, the reason that it would be helpful is because caffeine is a diuretic and bladder irritant, so it will make sure that you are peeing a lot while still having yellow piss that doesnt seem dilute because of the sodium and other shit that will keep your piss yellow
Mar 11 2011 7:34PM
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moarplease
Posts: 293 - Karma: 15
go to a smoke shop and buy their system cleaners. it works every time. read the directions. if i can remember correctly you drink it 1 or 2 hours before the test and you are golden.
Mar 11 2011 7:42PM
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basedjase
Posts: 2510 - Karma: 640
Except that you practically have to be a chemist to know what you are doing with this. So no. Don't drink bleach.
Mar 11 2011 8:52PM
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t3hb055
Posts: 813 - Karma: 15
Word, niacin pills will clean that shit out fast. That's what the detox pills for THC are.
Mar 11 2011 9:06PM
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CANBUS
Posts: 177 - Karma: 225
haha
Mar 11 2011 9:18PM
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Brock.
Posts: 5698 - Karma: 1,332
Jesus christ, has anybody in this thread even taken a test?



You will not pass if they test your urine.

The only sure way to pass is to get someone else's urine and fashion some kind of makeshift external bladder and fill the cup with it.
Mar 11 2011 9:37PM
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