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This is now my quote/ cool story thread.
backstory/setting: In a teacher's lounge in the english/business building getting water out of one of those jug things because grimy water fountains are grimy.
Her (middle aged woman of color): Are you a student?? (in bitchy annoyed tone)
Me: Yes
Her: (turns on air of superiority) We don't provide water to students.
Me: Are you a teacher?
Her: Yes I am. (remember the smug from south park? shit was emanating from her. Starts trying to turn the water off.)
Me: I pay your salary.
Her: Oh nah, nah (drops all pretenses and gets fully mad)
Me: (walks away with water in hand)