best drunken story

there are like 300 other posts about this kind of stuff. but its summer so i guess one more couldn't hurt. i passed out in a pile of dog shit. hows that for a drunken story.





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Good Fun With A Hand Gun.

MiKeE: If Shaun White is hot I hope I'm ugly.
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hoodratz47: sweet your now black....

here's a good one: I got drunk. Then I woke up the next day and din't remember a thing.


in the year 3030, everyone wants to be an MC

in the year three thousand and thirty, everbody want to be a D J.....

anyway, the key is to not remember anything...... and then hear about it from other people.
___________________

- Ian
That's Mr. Bangor to you!

~~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~~

woke up wearing a girls shirt beeing spooned by a guy in the back of a truck in the middle of a parkin lot which was 30 miles from where i last rember


RRRRRAAAAZZZZMAAATAAAAZZZ
Matty Jeronimo: maybe he will give us magic fairy dust
Matty Jeronimo: skiing fairy dust of course

my friend tried to kill himself... 3 times...





To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

I had a bet that i couldnt drink a 12 pack in under an hour!




...I have Dated a girl for her brains Big, HUGE Brains!!

The catch i had to do it without my hands and drink it froma a dog bowl!




...I have Dated a girl for her brains Big, HUGE Brains!!

waking up in a giant hole
________________________________________

---Chloe---
skiing=radical

Probably when I puked all over my friends car, got dropped off at a beach, punched in the face by a friend, and then had to walk about a mile half naked in the middle of winter to my friends house on a road that cops patrol every weekend.




'No its okay, I'm shaved' White Women
'I heard of Trimin the hedges, but you done scorched the earth..' Dave Chapelle.

patj

I passed out in a gravel field at my old elementary school and my friends buried me in gravel and grass and lit me on fire, it was rad

'You think you're too cool for school, but I've got a newsflash for you Walter Kronkite...You aren't' - Zoolander

^ u got any third degree burns
'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee go nads' the squirle

haha luckily no, they were somehow considerate enough to keep the fire away from my face and bury me in enough gravel that the fire was never close enough to me to actually burn me, supposedly I woke up about half way through and laughed my ass off the entire time

'You think you're too cool for school, but I've got a newsflash for you Walter Kronkite...You aren't' - Zoolander

o then ur friends r pretty cool and nice but it woulda kinda been cool to get some first degree cuz third dregee ones r nasty lookin
'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee go nads' the squirle

i went outside in my front yard with my skis and puked everywhere sat down in the snow and slept there till my brother came and got me






i was going to go for a quad daffy but i was like, why huck? -mommy

this happend last night. I was at a freinds house in the middle of the woods. no houses around for like a mile. we have a good size party. then a bunch of 25 year old hicks show up no one knows then besides on other hick that was already at the party. they drink out beer and leave, and when they are leaving they do burn outs and make a shit load of noise which gets reported to the cops. We didnt know this until we see the cop cars pulling in so every runs upstairs and hides. the cops knock on the door and ask to come in. after a while they got in some how and took down everyones names. have a ticket to the kid that lives there. and took all our alc. and they called every one that was under 18 parents.

when the cop asked for my name and # and all of that shit i told him it. and then he was like how many have you had to night son. i was like 5 or 6 and said well you sound a bit drunk there, you speech is pretty bad. then everyone told them no thats how he talks. what a great cop making fun of the way i talk. those piggys pissed me off



some christian kid today: 'Get drunk off jesus'


acholcol makes me its bitch

We were skiing in in Val d'Isere, France. A few of my friends had a day off skiing/snowboarding because it was a whiteout so they didn't want to go up the mountain so they just drank instead. Completely drunk and wearing a tweed jacket and flat cap, one of them tried to mount a dog that was wandering around. End result is he got bitten on the shoulder and had to have rabies shots.

i ate a big bowl full of grapes then on the way home i felt like i was going to puke... i didnt. then i got in to bed and it hit me, so i started running to the bathroom but i puked all down the hall, on the light switch and all over the bathroom, then i passed out naked in the bathtub

i puked grape skins everywhere

i was getting all plowed one night and a buddy wanted ot go skiing at like 6 in the morning, it was probably 3 or 4 a.m. my drunk ass decided 'alright i'll go' he comes to my house like two hours later and i'm on the verge of puking....and he's like 'just pull the trigger man' so im out in front of his car pukin and it starts this chain reaction that just sucked man, i was pukin the whole way up I-70 to breck hangin my head out the window and shit, the i fuckin stop at a gas station and start pukin in there and then i take a shit cuz that was needed too and then i end up puking off of the smell of my shit and then i get up there to brekc and i'm skiing hung over trying raisl and shit and jsut getting wrecked. had no balance or anything. so my buddy is like yo lets goto the car and hit the bong. so we go and do that and after a bowl to the dome i am fucked up again........everything is all flashin and shit, like strobe pictures or something. so i go skiing like that, it was probably the best day of skiing i've ever had....it was jsut like a video game.


[Necro - Get On Ya Knees]
I'll hit that pussy up with a nasty attack
Get on your knees like your looking for the last piece of crack
Filthy like Al Louis, jerking off at seventy
Or senerity, swallowing my twenty inches of obscenity
I'm paying a good buck
So slut, you better fuck as good as you look and suck as good as you fuck
When it comes to this porn shit you know who the master is
Bitch I'll leave Necro tagged on your ass with jizz

I smacked a window out of my friends car with a baseball bat. I would have smacked out another one but I fell and sprained my ankle and spilled black russian all over myself.

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'Dude, check out this nasty gouge.'
'Your mom has a nasty gouge.'

'221 is fucking hilarious'
~221

this one time,at bandcamp, I stuck a foot in my pussy's ass.
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Hummingbird style: 70 times in one second.

Does Crichton smoke? Does a bear shit in the woods? -Rex

you guys are the pride of our race. I tripped on my own feet and smashed my face on a tree stump.



“Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit�

Activism without chaos? or Chaos without activism?


'The problem with today's youth is not that our fathers don't believe in us, but that we do not believe in our fathers.' - Me.

oh i got a fire one too, so we're like 16 or something and we got a cabin in the woods somewhere. kids are fuckin boxing over where they're gonna sleep and shit we were so fucked up, but ya, so a couple kids brought some coke up and this one kid trys it for the first time. he gets fucked up, then he decideds well i tried that so he takes a chew for the first time.....the kid is jsut lookin like shit and he starts pukin and everything.....so he passes out on the couch. well that's at about 10 so we're all still partying hard and shit, this crazy little coke head decides to spary the passed out one with some flamible shit in a hairspray type of can. so we light the kids pants on fire. and he doesn't wake up, so we do it again, and the third time we're like shit lets jsut cover all his clothes with this shit, and so this kid is fuckin passed out on the couch completely on fire except his head and neck and he fuckin' wakes up. runs outside and jumps in the snow and passes out there. while this kid is running out the crazy little fucker with the hairspray bottle sprays another kid in the back and lights him on fire, he has absolutely no idea, so he's walkin about with his back ragin' in flames and everyone like lookin at him like 'oh fuck!' and he's just like waving at people thinking they're jsut talking to him or something.....so me and my buddy who are sitting at the coffee table jump up to put his back out, we were currently takin flamin shots of bacardi 151, my buddy at the coffe table knocks over the flaming shot on his pants, shoe and the carpet of the cabin and fuckin runs outside to put his shoe out, i run to put out jordans back, and the crazy little coke head with the hairspray can puts out the fire on the carpet......man that was one fun night.


[Necro - Get On Ya Knees]
I'll hit that pussy up with a nasty attack
Get on your knees like your looking for the last piece of crack
Filthy like Al Louis, jerking off at seventy
Or senerity, swallowing my twenty inches of obscenity
I'm paying a good buck
So slut, you better fuck as good as you look and suck as good as you fuck
When it comes to this porn shit you know who the master is
Bitch I'll leave Necro tagged on your ass with jizz

fire is definately fun.

setting people on fire's a little twisted though.



“Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit�

Activism without chaos? or Chaos without activism?


'The problem with today's youth is not that our fathers don't believe in us, but that we do not believe in our fathers.' - Me.

one kid when he gets drunk he gets violent, so we said to him that one of his friends fucked his girlfriend and we gave him a spray can and a lighter. he sneeks up on his friend who is soo drunk that all hes doing is walking around aimlessly, and sprays fire into the kids face. it was awsome.





To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

also twisted.



“Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit�

Activism without chaos? or Chaos without activism?


'The problem with today's youth is not that our fathers don't believe in us, but that we do not believe in our fathers.' - Me.

me and a friend stole 3 40's from my brother, chugged em down, then drank a 20 oz bottle of everclear mixed with hawaiin punch (about 80%everclear 20%hawaiin punch) then we snuck out and went to another friends backyard to go get him, but instead we sat down, smoked a few bowls, then passed out for about 2 hours
then we woke up and my friend started puking. Then we started to jump the fence to go home the shortcut way, and he fell and bruised his back. Then as I was jumping the fence, I landed funny and broke my leg just above the ankle. I was like 'oh fuck i broke my leg!!!' My friend was just like, 'no you didnt' so I said ok and managed to stumble home. The next morning my leg hurt like a bitch and my mom asked what happened and i said i tripped and fell down.....Somehow she believed me....my leg is still in the cast, but it was a damn fun night, so it was worth it 8-)