Member of the Month

KilaTsunami
October, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Instant Story Generator

profile picture
katie.
Posts: 2833 - Karma: 874

http://www.guywiththecoat.com/truestories.html

here's what mine said:

Once upon a time, as I was infiltrating New York's underground disco ring, I happened to notice that my present company was slowing transforming into werewolves! I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Nope - it was just like I said. So I took a deep breath, turned the tables and took control of the situation.

But then, I was sleepwalking dangerously close to a cliff this whole time. Luckily, I had been trained for just this type of thing in grade school and so I was able to make the world a better place for all the little children.

And, to make a long story short, I haven't been to Switzerland since.

Jan 23 2011 5:28PM
0 0
profile picture
skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349

One time, while appearing on a game show, I happened to look down and notice that my legs were completely gone. Yeah - it surprised me too. Of course, I really didn't have much of a choice, so I went shopping and built an empire.

Now you may not believe this next part, but I assure you that I couldn't find my underpants, and my only pants had a large hole in a senstive area. Luckily, I had just bought insurance for this type of thing the day before and so I was able to defuse the entire bad situation.

And, to make a long story short, that's where the world 'butter' comes from.

Jan 23 2011 5:29PM
0 0
profile picture
Winston_Smith
Posts: 722 - Karma: 35

Have I ever told you about the time that, as I was fluffing my pillows before bed, I happened to stumble upon a secret government conspiracy involving tacos and the Amazon Rainforest! So you see, truth really is stranger than fiction. No rational mind can comprehend what I did next: I shook my toosh around to drive the ladies wild and rented a movie.

But the weird part was that the neighborhood kids were watching TV in the living room. Luckily, I can kill a yak with mind bullets and so I was able to make it to the ocean, where I had a playdate with some dolphin philosophers.

And, to make a long story short, that's how I learned to use chopsticks.

Jan 23 2011 5:30PM
0 0
profile picture
1337
Posts: 31053 - Karma: 29,223
One time while I was in 'Nam, as I was having a pillow fight with The Dixie Chicks, I happened to slip and hit my head on a counter, completely re-writing my memory so that I was completely convinced that I was a seven-foot-tall woman named Agnes! I was so stunned that I very nearly walked straight into a pole. The good news was that I swerved in time. The bad news is that I swerved right into an open manhole. After a split second of hesitation I leapt into action and turned this to my advantage and took a bathroom break.

All was going according to plan, until my car broke down. And when I say broke down, I mean that when I turned it on, it exploded in a huge ball of fire that caused millions of dollars in property damage. It's just a good thing I had my seatbelt on, or I could have died right then. Luckily, this was my area of expertise and so I was able to settle things once and for all.

And, to make a long story short, that's what this trophy is for.
Jan 23 2011 5:33PM
0 0
profile picture
soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
i dont know what this is, but i like it! Have I ever told you about the time that, as I was in the middle of the Ultimate Fighting Championship final round, I happened to come across the winning lotto ticket. It was just like in that movie with that actor, except this was real life. So I took a deep breath, struggled to go on and played solitaire. But that was the easy part! To make things worse, my mother-in-law was staying over. Luckily, this was my area of expertise and so I was able to make the world a better place for all the little children. And, to make a long story short, now I can't hear out of my left ear.
Jan 23 2011 5:34PM
0 0
profile picture
SickNameHere
Posts: 113 - Karma: 14
I remember this one time, as I was dancing the lumbago with Peter Sellers, I happened to die suddenly due to spontaneous human combustion! And I was like, 'geeze, not again.' To be honest, I was surprised. But I knew what I had to do, so I shook my toosh around to drive the ladies wild and learned to speak Spanish.

And just when I thought I had things under control I came to the realization that my mother-in-law was staying over. Luckily, I was wearing my lucky underoos and so I was able to make it to the ocean, where I had a playdate with some dolphin philosophers.

And, to make a long story short, that's why the dinosaurs died.

Jan 23 2011 5:37PM
0 0
profile picture
giantsrock28
Posts: 115 - Karma: 31

One time at band camp, as I was debating politics with Bill O'Reilly, I happened to be kidnapped by the Russian Mafia! I thought somebody was playing a trick on me, but no! To be honest, I was surprised. But I knew what I had to do, so I checked the mail and overpowered my enemies.

All was going according to plan, until my internet was down, the cable was out, my dvd player was broken and all my books had been destroyed by the fire, so I had absolutely no form of entertainment during this whole thing. Luckily, I have great skills and so I was able to do everything I set out to do - and more.

And, to make a long story short, I learned my lesson, let me assure you.

Jan 23 2011 6:59PM
0 0
profile picture
yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
i lol'd

One time, while reminiscing about days past, I happened to feel the pain of two angry dwarves gnawing at my ankles! I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Nope - it was just like I said. No rational mind can comprehend what I did next: I tossed all incriminating evidence out the window and went fishing.

And just when I thought I had things under control I came to the realization that my robolegs were malfuntioning something crazy, and making me walk around to all sorts of interesting places that were fun but had nothing to do with the situation at hand Luckily, I had been reading about this very thing online the night before and so I was able to become rich and famous.

And, to make a long story short, that's why the dinosaurs died.
Jan 23 2011 7:08PM
0 0
profile picture
Burrrlapz
Posts: 371 - Karma: 6,788
This is an interesting thing that happened to me on the way to work this morning: while fighting a dragon, I happened to completely forget who I was or what I was doing. Oh yeah! So then I did what any person would have done: I flexed my muscles and checked my e-mail again.

But the real show stopper was this: I got lost in a bad part of town, and I was stuck holding a big sign that said 'I'm rich dumb and defenseless. And I hate minorities. Luckily, my animal instinct is immense and so I was able to become rich and famous.

And, to make a long story short, now there are many more warning lables than there used to be.

Jan 23 2011 7:11PM
0 0
profile picture
CKpolicy
Posts: 2587 - Karma: 2,463
Another interesting thing to happen to me was, while at a sexy party, I happened to realize that I was an hour late for my daughter's graduation! Normally, that kind of thing only happens on Thursdays. After that my animal instinct kicked in and I checked my e-mail and wrote a poem.

And if that wasn't rough enough, I was sick as a dog. Luckily, nobody can deny that what I got is fly and so I was able to save the day once again.

And, to make a long story short, now I can't hear out of my left ear.

Jan 23 2011 7:19PM
0 0
profile picture
soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
haha, i just found this thread open in a tab and spent too much time trying to find how that last post could be relevant to anything, ever.
Jan 23 2011 10:20PM
0 0
profile picture
.newman.
Posts: 1552 - Karma: 236
I remember this one time, as I looked to the sky in awe at the glory of the earth, I happened to be seduced by a a rich widow! It was intense. At this point I decided to forget about common sense and go with my gut feeling: I did the funky chicken and impressed everyone with my singing ability. But then, my boss was over for dinner. Luckily, nobody can deny that what I got is fly and so I was able to regain my consciousness before walking over a cliff. And, to make a long story short, that's why we can never go to sleep.
Jan 23 2011 11:57PM
0 0
profile picture
.jesus.
Posts: 2288 - Karma: 22
this one time in prison......
Jan 24 2011 12:00AM
0 0
profile picture
Yung_Gnarley
Posts: 9092 - Karma: 3,022
All of these are pure gold.
Jan 24 2011 12:01AM
0 0
profile picture
introvert
Posts: 4718 - Karma: 1,482

One day after school, while riding a rollercoaster, I happened to slip and hit my head on a counter, completely re-writing my memory so that I was completely convinced that I was a seven-foot-tall woman named Agnes!And I was like, 'WTF, mate?' Of course, I really didn't have much of a choice, so I dug a hole and hid in it andtwiddled my thumbs.

Piece of cake, right? I'm afraid not, because The earth was splitting in two right between my legs. Luckily, I had just bought insurance for this type of thing the day before and so I was able to make it through with nary a scratch on my body.

And, to make a long story short, I will never look at balogna the same way.

Jan 24 2011 12:26AM
0 0
profile picture
hokkanee
Posts: 1800 - Karma: 435
I remember this one time, as I was exploring the remains of the Titanic, I happened to be seduced by a a rich widow! And the funny thing was, that's exactly what it said in my horoscope that morning! So what could I do to get out of this mess? I learned Kung Fu and impressed everyone with my singing ability. And then, when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I slept through my alarm. Not my morning alarm, either. My alarm that tells me that there's nuclear war going on. Luckily, I had a secret weapon hidden in my back pocket and so I was able to escape just in time. And, to make a long story short, now I'm legally the owner of a small tribe of natives in the Arctic. These are gold hahaha. I'm telling one of these next time my friends are all drinking
Jan 24 2011 1:36AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)