Replying to Epic soliliquy time and NS gets to help yo!(mad karmaz)

Here's the deal.


We're writing a play for senior drama, and it's about pirates. For my character(s) I need to write a soliliquy explaining to the audience what I'm about to do as the character.

Before we do that I guess you guys would need some background. The play is basically this girl Clairetta gets kidnapped by pirates, and she's my wife. I go on to the pirate ship to get her back, and get the shit killed out of me. My brother(who I also play, they're twins) decides to rescue her so he can impersonate me and fuck the shit out of her for the rest of his life. I need a speech for my character Markus/Barkus to explain to the audience what I'm about to do. The awesome/dumb thing about them is that their soliliquy is basically going to be the exact same but I'd just change lines like 'I must save my wife' to 'I must save my brother's wife'

I'm not really good at writing epic 18th century speeches about killing pirates and defending honor. That's where I need your help NS.

Mad karmaz if you do!