ARE YOU TIRED OF FEELING LIKE A FUCKING HOMO? ARE YOU TIRED OF HAVING PEOPLE KICK YOU IN THE SHINS AND STEAL YOUR LUNCH MONEY? ARE YOU HAVING MARITAL PROBLEMS DUE TO YOUR FUCKING LAME ASS ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION?
WELL IMPRESS THOSE AROUND YOU WITH SOME DANK ASS MOTHERFUCKING GEAR. SURE, I COULD MARKET THIS SHIT AS NORMAL ASS MOTHERFUCKING GEAR BUT IT'S FUCKING NOT. THIS SHIT IS FUCKING WAY MORE CA$H THAN NORMAL GEAR. YOU WANNA KNOW WHY? I BET YOU DO.
BEFORE WE START: ANY OF YOU DRUG DEALING PANSY MOTHERFUCKING SKETCH ASSES WHO WANT TO PAY VIA CASH OR MONEY ORDER THEN GTFO. THIS SALE ACCEPTS PAPYAL ONLY BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS FUCKING SAFE. I'LL GLADLY SHIP TO THE UNITED STATES OF FUCKING AMERICA AND I'LL SEND THE JIBERISH TO CANADA BUT NOT THE FUCKING SKIS. THOSE GODDAM CANUCKISTANIAN NIGGARDLY BORDER PATROL ASSHOLES BREAK MY SKIS ALL THE TIME AND FUCKING USPS (NO DISRESPECT AMERICA) WONT GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY BACK.
ITEM #1: IF ORGASMS COULD PRODUCE PRODUCTS OTHER THAN BLOOD AND SEMEN, THEY WOULD GENERATE THIS MOTHERFUCKING XL JIBERISH GREEN LIQUID SWORDS. THIS SHIT WAS WORN LIKE 15 TIMES IN MY HOUSE AND I TOOK THIS SHIT SKIING ONCE BUT DIDN'T FUCK IT UP BECAUSE I DON'T FUCKING FALL. SHIT'S FUCKING MINT. $90
ITEM #2: CLASSIEST PIECE OF MERCHANDISE EVER RIGHT HERE. ORIGINAL LEVEL 1 JIBERISH COLLAB CREW IN XL. TIRED OF HAVING YOUR GAY ASS CREW THAT SAYS LEVE L 1? WELL GET SOMETHING THAT'S NOT SEWED BY A BLIND RETARDED INBRED MIDGET THAT CAN'T COMPLETE A WORD. YEAH THIS SHIT HAS A LOT OF FUCKING CRACKING BUT IT BUILDS CHARACTER AND BITCHES WILL KNOW THAT YOU GET OUT THERE AND WEAR DOWN YOUR SHIT AND THEREFORE WANT TO SUCK YOUR DICK DESPITE THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A 5" 14 YEAR OLD PIECE OF FAILURE. $40
ITEM #3: EVER WONDER WHAT A FLANNEL WOULD LOOK LIKE IF A UNICORN EJACULATED ON IT? ME NEITHER, I'M NOT FUCKING WEIRD. ALTHOUGH THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS IS. NO, THIS SHIT IS CLASSY. XL BLUEBERRY FLANNEL. BRAND FUCKING NEW WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING TAG STILL ON. $80
FINAL MOTHERFUCKING SHIT: OG, ORIGINAL FUCKING GANGSTER, MOMENT TAHOES. THESE SKIS HAVE A LOT OF CONNECTION TO ME SINCE THEY'RE 180CM WHICH IS THE SAME LENGTH AS MY COCK. EVER WONDER WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE AS GOOD AT SKIING AS I AM? WELL THIS IS THE CLOSEST YOU'LL GET. THESE STICKS ARE OLD BUT INDESTRUCTIBLE. BOUGHT THESE OF A MOMENT REP. THEY HAVE SOME TOPSHEET CHIPPING FROM DUMBASS WEEKEND WARRIORS WHO FUCKED THEM BUT OTHER THAN THAT THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL. MOUNTED ONCE FOR DUMBASS WEEKEND WARRIOR DEMO BINDINGS AND AGAIN FOR FKS AT +2 FROM RECOMMENDED FOR A 313 BSL. NO BASE DAMAGE. NO TOPSHEET DAMAGE. EDGES ARE RACE TUNED AT A 3 DEGREE BEVEL FOR MAXIMUM SLAYAGE. $120
PM ME WITH QUESTIONS BUT IF YOU'RE A FUCKING NOOB I WON'T RESPOND
