funny jokes

yout mom

girls poo, but they are giftwrapped, have a little bow on them, and smell like cinnimon and vanilla

WORLD FREERIDE CAMP SESSION 3 BIOTCHES

whats worse than a worm in your apple?






The holocaust.
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'I am so smart, I am so smart. S-M-R-T, wait no, S-M-A-R-T!'

Here's a joke...








...Women's rights

^ HAHAHHAA LOGAN lol you little fag hahahah

girls poo, but they are giftwrapped, have a little bow on them, and smell like cinnimon and vanilla

WORLD FREERIDE CAMP SESSION 3 BIOTCHES

This is a long one, but just read the damn thing
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the
local church. 'Reverend,' she said, 'I have a problem, my
husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very
embarrassing. What should I do?'

'I have an idea,' said the minister. 'Take this hatpin with you.
I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will
motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a
good poke in the leg.'

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing
this, the preacher put his plan to work. 'And who made the
ultimate sacrifice for you?' he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

'Jesus!', Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the
hatpin.

'Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones,' said the minister. Soon, Mr.
Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. 'Who is
your redeemer?' he asked the congregation, motioning towards
Mrs. Jones.

'God!' Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

'Right again,' said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.
Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not
notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few
motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her
husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, 'And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore
him his 99th son?'

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, 'You stick that
goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half
and shove it up your ass!'

'Amen,' replied the congregation.





Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.


-Not enough money for a summer camp this year-session 4

_-_-_-_Scoot4Life_-_-_-_

Q: how do you sit 4 gay guys on one chair?

A: turn the chair over.


3 guys all die on the same day and find themselves facing the enterance to heaven. St. whoever comes up and says 'men, dont you find it strange that you all died on the same day, and the same time? how did you die?'
the first man replies, 'well, one night i got off work early. i walked up the 23 flights of stairs in my apartment complex to get to my room. i wanted to surprise my wife, so i bought flowers. but when i got to the room, i heard noises coming from my bedroom that sounded like my wife and some other man. so i burst in and saw my wife naked on the bed and saw a naked man hanging on the balcony rail hiding so i wouldnt see him. i grabbed a baseball bad and started smashing his fingers so he would fall. but when he fell, he hit another balcony and landed gracefully in a bush, unharmed. so i freaked out again and went into my kitchen and pushed the refridgerator over the balcony and it landed on him and killed him. but right then, i started to have a heart attack and then i died. i guess it was from all the excitement.'
the second guy replies to that. 'i live on the 25th floor of my apartment complex and was stepping out of the shower and walked out onto the balcony. but i slipped when i got out outside and fell over the balcony. i started screaming for help, and i see a man coming straight at me and i get excited because i think hes going to help me. but instead he starts wailing on my hands with a baseball bat and i fall. but luckily i hit another balcony and fall gracefully in a bush. but then i open my eyes and see a refridgerator coming straight at me.'

'how strange' st whoever responds. 'how about you?'
the 3rd man replies 'i work for room service at an apartment complex. when i was bringing up a meal to a room, a womans voice called for me and told me to come on in. when i walked into the bedroom, she was laying naked on the bed, telling me to do what i wanted. but then i heard someone coming, and i knew it couldnt be good. so i hid in the refridgerator.'

sorry that was long.


I dont want a large Farva!

haha i have another one too...not that funny though.

so on a transatlantic flight, a 747 hits a lot of turbulance and then one of the wings gets struck by lightning. there is a lot of panic, but one woman in particular is just freaking out.
'IM TOO YOUNG TO DIE! I AM TOO INEXPERIENCED! IM NOT READY YET! IVE HAD SEX BEFORE, BUT NO MAN HAS EVER MADE ME FEEL LIKE A WOMAN!'
hearing this, everyone goes silent. but then this dark, handsome, sexy man with flowing black hair, jet eyes, just gorgeous man slowly walks down the isle to where the freaky woman is. she becomes silent, and gets excited with anticipation. the man is still walking, but starts to unbutton his shirt. he stops right in front of her, slips off his shirt and whispers...

'iron this.'


I dont want a large Farva!

So this guy and his buddy are sitting down in the the kitchen playing a gmae of cards when one of this guys kids walks into the room and asks if she can go out and play. 'Do you have your homework done rosepeddle' the guy asked his daughter. she said yes, and he let her go out to play. His buddy said ' rose peddle, thats a strange name... why did you chose that?' The guy told him the story. 'When we had her, we had no idea what to call her. Then when we left the hospital, a rosepeddle fell on her forhead and we decided to name her rosepeddle, never looked back either' his buddy was kinda weirded out but was thinking what ever floats your boat. So they kept playing cards. then another one of his kids walks into the room and asks to go the to movies. 'did you finish that essay snowflake?' asked the guy and his daughter said she did so he let her go. His buddy was like 'snowflake? let me guess, you walked out of the hospital in the middle of december and a snowflake fell on her head?' the guy was like 'yah, that about covers it' and they kept playing their card game. Then another kid walks into the room and says 'guuhhhnaaabuhhhlaa' and the guy said 'SHUT UP FRIDGE'

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
--->CCR*
theres an ilovemen.com? damn. see you guys later -skierdudeguy

why cant helin keller drive?


because she is a women



some christian kid today: 'Get drunk off jesus'


acholcol makes me its bitch