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partyandBS
December, 2024

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Wanna hear a couple jokes?

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trippysheep
Posts: 63 - Karma: 10
how do you become a millionaire in Aspen?

start off as a billionaire


How does a snowboarder first introduce himself?

sorry bro
Dec 26 2010 9:18PM
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switchington
Posts: 277 - Karma: 14
on a scale from anne frank to osama bin laden,


how good was my hiding place?
Jan 11 2011 6:23PM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
A hunter goes into the woods and sees a bear, he brings up his rifle, aims at the bear and squeezes the trigger...

BANG!

the hunter goes out to take a look at his fresh, kill but there's no sign of the bear !?
suddenly he gets tapped on the shoulder, it's the bear and he says, get on your knees and suck it !
the hunter does as he's told and after swallowing he runs home.

next day the hunter decides to try it again and brings a machine-gun to make sure he gets the bear this time !

he sees the dirty bear and squeezes off a whole 30 round cartridge !
he goes out to take a look, but once again no dead bear :(

he gets tapped on the shoulder once again.
the bear says, get on ya knees and suck it, bitch!
the hunter does as he's told ... (you don't argue with a 600pound grizzly)

next day the hunter returns and he brings an RPG rocket launcher.
he sees the bear, squeezes the trigger and ....
BAM!
half of the forest is obliterated !

the hunter goes looking for a smouldering bear carcass, but once again, no luck :(

once more he gets tapped on the shoulder and looks around.
there's the dirty bear and he says:
"You ain't just here for the hunting, are you ?" :)

Apologies for my bad English im a Belgian doing my best :)
Jan 11 2011 6:38PM
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kardaddy
Posts: 435 - Karma: 10
i see many flaws in this...
Jan 11 2011 8:16PM
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kardaddy
Posts: 435 - Karma: 10
you do if you have a gun...
Jan 11 2011 8:19PM
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floop
Posts: 137 - Karma: 10
did you guys hear about the corduroy pillows?

There making headlines
Jan 11 2011 11:27PM
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Krotchs_Brother
Posts: 1133 - Karma: 3,006
win
Jan 12 2011 4:21PM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
would you "argue" with a bear if you knew it would result in you gargeling the sticky bearjuice ?
Jan 12 2011 4:52PM
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Davy.Crockett
Posts: 5373 - Karma: 324
knock knock.

whose there?

Fedex. we have a package for you.


why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

repeated absence and stealing.


Jan 12 2011 5:13PM
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POWDER.RANGER
Posts: 1698 - Karma: -24
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHA i just DIED
Jan 13 2011 12:05AM
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=^]
Posts: 231 - Karma: 13
this is why i ride alone or with mixed
Jan 13 2011 8:44AM
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alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
why can't stevie wonder read?


because he's black
Jan 13 2011 8:48AM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
so not all of your friends are sitting on the landing while you're changing a lightbulb ?
Jan 13 2011 8:48AM
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=^]
Posts: 231 - Karma: 13
Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
A: "Where's my tractor?"

A Black man, a mexican and a russian walk into a bar. What a great example of a united society.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.


What did the homeless man get for Christmas?
Nothing


Q: What do you call a Mexican flying a plane?
A: A pilot.


Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.


Why did the sheep dog count 40 sheep when there were only 38

He rounded them up.


A seal walks into a club. However, the particular club he entered had a no animals policy and he was turned away.


Two porn stars, a man and a woman, are going at it during a shoot. They're doing it doggy style, and the director keeps urging them to do it faster, since they're in sort of a homestretch two-shot. So they're really going at it, and the woman kind of looks over her shoulder at the man and says, "Ooh, you feel so good inside me!" And the man thinks to himself, I choose to believe you.

A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. When the judges had inspected all of the competing dogs, they remarked about the boy's dog: "He's not so shaggy."


Two light bulbs are lying in their cardboard sleeve on a shelf somewhere. The first light bulb is a real nervous type. He's been going on and on. "What if I don't light up? Seriously, what if I don't? I will just m'kaying die! God, I'm freaking out. And thanks to our m'kaying packaging, we don't know whether we're in a store or a warehouse, or if we're sitting under someone's kitchen sink moments away from being screwed in and turned on. What if there's something wrong with my filament? I mean, it feels OK to me, but there's not really any way of knowing for sure until I get hit with some current. Sure, I passed the factory test and lit up just fine, but what if ..." The second light bulb has had enough. "Will you shut the m'kay up! Just shut up!" There is a long awkward silence. Then the first light bulb says, "Well, what else are we supposed to talk about?"


What did the aborted baby say to it's mother?

Nothing. Dead babies can't speak, and even if they could it takes at least a year or so for babies to learn how and because this particular baby was aborted and you can only be aborted if you're younger than about four months it wouldn't have had the time.


A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.
Jan 13 2011 8:55AM
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=^]
Posts: 231 - Karma: 13
ya basically
Jan 13 2011 8:56AM
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FreeskierRocco.
Posts: 3740 - Karma: 91
Were those supposed to be funny?
Jan 13 2011 6:22PM
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aquinn
Posts: 824 - Karma: 217
didn't read the whole thread, but...

what happens when a jew with a boner walks into a wall.

he breaks his nose
Jan 13 2011 6:38PM
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Hristo
Posts: 78 - Karma: 9
What's the difference between a black guy and a tire?




when you put chains on the tire it doesn't start to rap
Jan 13 2011 6:38PM
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Tall_Paul
Posts: 958 - Karma: 57
+k for sure
Jan 13 2011 7:08PM
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=^]
Posts: 231 - Karma: 13
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Domestic violence is a crime. She should leave her abusive partner and seek help.

Jan 13 2011 7:13PM
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=^]
Posts: 231 - Karma: 13
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Domestic violence is a crime. She should leave her abusive partner and seek help.

Jan 13 2011 7:13PM
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Ski_Alot
Posts: 5900 - Karma: 3,658
did you know helen keller had a dog
no
neither did she
Jan 13 2011 7:37PM
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TROLLED.HARD
Posts: 1032 - Karma: -11
stop telling holocaust jokes. can you nazi how hurtful they are?

:'D
Jan 15 2011 12:31AM
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twin-tip-hero
Posts: 2896 - Karma: 277
and i thought i was the only one that knew that joke!!!!
Jan 15 2011 12:38AM
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find
Posts: 431 - Karma: 27
hahahaha YES!
Jan 15 2011 5:56PM
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Jahrassicpark
Posts: 2075 - Karma: 38
Your fucked too




What's the difference between a Farrari and a pile of dead babies.


I don't have a Farrari in my garage
Jan 15 2011 6:05PM
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Jahrassicpark
Posts: 2075 - Karma: 38
What did one saggy boob say to the other

We better perk up or people will think we're nuts!
Jan 15 2011 6:50PM
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TROLLED.HARD
Posts: 1032 - Karma: -11
holocaust jokes aren't funny at all, anne frankly, i won't stand for it
Jan 15 2011 10:47PM
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TROLLED.HARD
Posts: 1032 - Karma: -11
don't get me fired up all over it.
Jan 15 2011 10:48PM
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Common_Cents
Posts: 455 - Karma: 13
Bump
threads
Jan 19 2011 5:21PM
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Kimbo~Slice
Posts: 522 - Karma: 194
i made this one up, snothing special:

whats the similarities between lesbians and vegetarians?



Neither of them can go without a meat substitute.

ps i'm not very good at making up jokes :/
Jan 19 2011 5:39PM
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Stickity
Posts: 7750 - Karma: 769
hahahahahah
actually lold
Jan 19 2011 11:21PM
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Skierguy1234
Posts: 1684 - Karma: 88
i dont think ive ever read a more useless post on NS...

and that's saying something...
Jan 26 2011 12:32PM
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SPECK
Posts: 616 - Karma: 47
Womens Rights.
Jan 26 2011 12:33PM
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Benjo
Posts: 709 - Karma: 23
I finally figured out how to make my dick 8 inches long

















































fold it in half
LOL
Jan 26 2011 1:11PM
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