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partyandBS
December, 2024

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Wanna hear a couple jokes?

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trippysheep
Posts: 63 - Karma: 10
how do you become a millionaire in Aspen?

start off as a billionaire


How does a snowboarder first introduce himself?

sorry bro
Dec 26 2010 9:18PM
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Fish_Sandwich.
Posts: 9108 - Karma: 16
Very nice.
Dec 29 2010 10:16PM
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switchington
Posts: 277 - Karma: 14
I like my females like I like my Whisky. 12 years old and left in the Basement
Dec 30 2010 5:23PM
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alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
I masturbated over an ex girlfriend the other night. Its alright though, I still have a key to her house and she's a heavy sleeper.
Dec 30 2010 6:30PM
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RAWLAN
Posts: 1209 - Karma: 50
If a bear mauled a PETA member to death and no one is around to see it, is it still ironic
Dec 30 2010 6:45PM
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WaterBottle
Posts: 1156 - Karma: 4
ZING.
Dec 30 2010 6:51PM
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The.Ginger
Posts: 978 - Karma: 13
What did Jane say when she saw a group of elephants?

Look! Plums!


Whats the difference between a plum and an elephant?

They're both purple, except for the elephant!
Dec 30 2010 6:56PM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies?

you cant unload the truck of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

.


Dec 30 2010 7:22PM
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11955 - Karma: 12,302
LOVE IT.

whats the difference between an orange and a elephant?

They are both orange except for the elephant.
Dec 30 2010 7:25PM
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iTrollalot
Posts: 41 - Karma: 10

whats the difference between a skier and a bucket of shit? the bucket

Dec 30 2010 8:15PM
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Stickity
Posts: 7750 - Karma: 769
if a man says something and there isn't a woman around to hear it, is he still wrong?
Dec 30 2010 8:41PM
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Ehh...
Posts: 1897 - Karma: 1,423
good point1!
Dec 30 2010 9:01PM
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Larziboi
Posts: 10 - Karma: 13
Bah, all my jokes are on my first language! and if i translate em, they will suck :P found this; Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. 'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.' Watson replies, 'I see millions of stars.' 'What does that tell you?' Watson ponders for a minute.' Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you? Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. 'Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.'
Dec 30 2010 9:04PM
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Stickity
Posts: 7750 - Karma: 769
haha i love that one
Dec 30 2010 9:05PM
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OHIO
Posts: 414 - Karma: 706
threads
Dec 30 2010 10:14PM
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AGOF
Posts: 2038 - Karma: 3,607
i feel like the first one would have been better if the answer was keeping their asses warm
Dec 30 2010 11:33PM
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TheReverend
Posts: 364 - Karma: 31
SO a rope walks into a bar and orders a drink but the bartender says, "HEY YOU! Get out! We don't serve ropes here!" Disappointed, the rope walks out of the bar, Twists himself up, shags up his hair, and then walks back into the bar. The bartender sees him again and says, " HEY!..... are you a rope?" The rope then replies and says, "Nope, I'm afraid not."


also,


Did you hear about that guy that lost his left arm and his left leg?


It's okay now though cause he's alright.



Dec 30 2010 11:40PM
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Jib-Ninja
Posts: 2819 - Karma: 20
threadz....these jokes are controversial as fuck..and i love them.
Dec 30 2010 11:59PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
THATS MY FAVORITE JOKE! whenever i tell it, nobody laughs though :/
Dec 31 2010 1:21AM
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TheReverend
Posts: 364 - Karma: 31
haha its causee people are dumb and don't understand it.
Dec 31 2010 1:26AM
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CypressGrove
Posts: 1116 - Karma: 12
GOLD
Dec 31 2010 1:38AM
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Ducky.
Posts: 5811 - Karma: 1,420
What's the difference between a porsche and a boner? (ladies only)





























I don't have a porsche
Dec 31 2010 1:50AM
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chardi
Posts: 5040 - Karma: 59
whats the difference between a massive elephant penis and a ferrari?


















elephants can't drive ferraris.
Dec 31 2010 1:52AM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,273
oh god i just died
Dec 31 2010 2:10AM
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
did you hear about the guys that went camping?

i heard it was intense
Dec 31 2010 3:06AM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,273
what do you call 4 mexicans in quicksand?

quatro cinco


what do you call a group of mexicans on a roof?

chingos


two condoms walk by a gay bar. one turns to the other and says "hey wanna go get shitfaced?"
Dec 31 2010 11:33AM
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lizzatronn
Posts: 192 - Karma: 25
hahahahaha those were pretty damn good. especially the last one
Dec 31 2010 2:17PM
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RJ_Res
Posts: 628 - Karma: 292
Did you hear about the Mexican that went to college?

Neither have I.


Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food?

Neither have they.
Dec 31 2010 3:28PM
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Ski_Alot
Posts: 5900 - Karma: 3,658
What's the differane between a lamborgini and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a lambo in my garage
Dec 31 2010 4:34PM
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POWDER.RANGER
Posts: 1698 - Karma: -24
whats brown and sticky??






























a stick you sick freak
Dec 31 2010 4:42PM
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je_mapelle
Posts: 157 - Karma: 11
haha this one and the batman one cracked me up.

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.
Dec 31 2010 5:47PM
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alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
what do kate middleton and dodi al-fayed have in common?
















they've both had their finger in diana's ring
Dec 31 2010 8:23PM
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Sam.Carson
Posts: 2884 - Karma: 33

whats with the baby jokes

Dec 31 2010 8:42PM
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Steezy_IN_KC
Posts: 2033 - Karma: 1,607
A three legged dog walks into a bar... the bartender says what can i get you?




The dog says i'm looking for the man who shot my paw!
Dec 31 2010 8:52PM
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TheStudioCC
Posts: 2092 - Karma: 366
Those sucked dick... snowboarding jokes are lame considering theres a shitload of skiers who do the same thing.
Dec 31 2010 8:53PM
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trippysheep
Posts: 63 - Karma: 10
the one about sitting at the top of the park isnt really true because we stand. (but we stand there because we, well i, dont snake)
the second one is true for mostly everybody
Dec 31 2010 9:34PM
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switchington
Posts: 277 - Karma: 14
You've really got to hand it to short people. Because they often can't reach it. I told a mother in-law joke today...but it didn't really work.They say, 'telling a good joke is all about the timing'...Even the vicar said I should have waited till she was in the ground.
Jan 1 2011 5:49PM
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switchington
Posts: 277 - Karma: 14
Sorry I'm on my phone so I can't put spaces in it's two jokes
Jan 1 2011 6:01PM
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summersover
Posts: 5777 - Karma: 233
whats the best part about fucking twenty three year olds?









there are twenty of them
Jan 1 2011 6:17PM
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iFlip
Posts: 4544 - Karma: 19,137
Gold walks into a bar. The bartender says "A......U.......Get outta here!"
Jan 1 2011 6:23PM
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iFlip
Posts: 4544 - Karma: 19,137

How did the farmer find the sheep in tall grass?

Very satisfying.

Maybe tell your science teacher that one in exchange?

Jan 1 2011 6:27PM
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Krotchs_Brother
Posts: 1133 - Karma: 3,006
cool name bro :)
Jan 1 2011 7:08PM
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alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
why did michael jackson want to be buried at sea?


so he could be tied to two buoys forever



what does stevie wonder's wife do after an argument?


rearrange the furniture




Jan 1 2011 9:22PM
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Skierguy1234
Posts: 1684 - Karma: 88
what's brown and rhymes with snoop?



dr. dre
Jan 1 2011 9:30PM
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Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,169
Hey baby girl, you just got syphillis bitch!
Jan 1 2011 9:44PM
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Mr_Orange
Posts: 1024 - Karma: 154
what did the cannibal do after he dumped his girl friend?








wiped...
Jan 1 2011 9:54PM
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Takeo.
Posts: 104 - Karma: 10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was dead.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?

Because he was stapled to the monkey.

Jan 1 2011 10:07PM
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The.Ginger
Posts: 978 - Karma: 13
There is an asian guy and a turtle sitting next to each other at a bar, what does the asian guy say to the turtle?






























































































































you're a turtle
Jan 3 2011 8:00PM
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snowflexzone
Posts: 200 - Karma: 18
good work, made me lol
Jan 3 2011 8:02PM
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oilmoney=Skiing
Posts: 52 - Karma: 10
now this is fucking funny. many haha's
Jan 5 2011 1:34AM
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