Member of the Month

partyandBS
December, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Wanna hear a couple jokes?

profile picture
trippysheep
Posts: 63 - Karma: 10
how do you become a millionaire in Aspen?

start off as a billionaire


How does a snowboarder first introduce himself?

sorry bro
Dec 26 2010 9:18PM
0 0
profile picture
chardi
Posts: 5040 - Karma: 59
whats the difference between people who tell dead baby jokes and people who don't?




i don't avoid eye contact with the people who don't.
Dec 27 2010 9:40PM
0 0
profile picture
McFellon
Posts: 1841 - Karma: 2,005
why is santa's sack so full?



Because he only comes once a year
Dec 27 2010 9:45PM
0 0
profile picture
JRubes
Posts: 48 - Karma: 14
Whats the difference between a grandmother and a baby?







The grandmothers pelvis doesn't shatter when I fuck her.
Dec 27 2010 9:46PM
0 0
profile picture
J.DUKE
Posts: 1233 - Karma: 38
want to hear a joke?


Womens rights?



Want to hear another?


The WNBA



Dec 27 2010 10:00PM
0 0
profile picture
broto
Posts: 9039 - Karma: 25,664
i'll take credit for this one.
Dec 27 2010 11:12PM
0 0
profile picture
Master_Debater
Posts: 1211 - Karma: 225
whats faster than a speeding bullet?




a jew with a cupon.
Dec 27 2010 11:37PM
0 0
profile picture
Steeze_Minister
Posts: 1432 - Karma: 240
whats similar between an orange and an aligator

there both orannge... except for the aligator


What did Batman say to Robin before they went in the batmobile?

Get in the batmobile robin
Dec 28 2010 12:01AM
0 0
profile picture
adrianms
Posts: 162 - Karma: 86
my threads
Dec 28 2010 12:11PM
0 0
profile picture
SOLID7
Posts: 239 - Karma: 11
HOW DO YOU STOP A BABY CRAWLING IN CIRCLES?

NAIL IT"S OTHER HAND TO THE FLOOR

******************************************************

HOW DO YOU GET 6 BABIES IN A BOWL? - BLENDER
HOW DO YOU GET THEM OUT? - DORITOS

******************************************************

WHAT DOES A BABY SOUND LIKE IN A MICROWAVE?

DON'T KNOW, I WAS TOO BUSY WANKING

******************************************************

WHAT'S THE HARDEST PART ABOUT EATING A VEGETABLE?

THE WHEELCHAIR

Dec 28 2010 12:21PM
0 0
profile picture
thugaim
Posts: 2181 - Karma: 33
Read it, stopped for 5 seconds and then lol'd.
Dec 28 2010 3:39PM
0 0
profile picture
steezysaurus
Posts: 379 - Karma: 10
threads for later.
Dec 28 2010 5:39PM
0 0
profile picture
switchington
Posts: 277 - Karma: 14
Whats the best thing about fucking dead babies?

You can eat the evidence in one sitting.
Dec 28 2010 5:48PM
0 0
profile picture
Keith.
Posts: 967 - Karma: 88
What gets louder as it gets smaller?


A baby in a trash compacter
Dec 28 2010 8:18PM
0 0
profile picture
pelle_munch
Posts: 4110 - Karma: 503
Two peanuts were walking along, one was assaulted.
Dec 28 2010 8:22PM
0 0
profile picture
trippysheep
Posts: 63 - Karma: 10
seriously... you guys are fucked up.
Dec 28 2010 10:10PM
0 0
profile picture
lizzatronn
Posts: 192 - Karma: 25
hahahaha. the only disney approved joke in this thread
Dec 28 2010 10:20PM
0 0
profile picture
.jesus.
Posts: 2288 - Karma: 22
how do you have a nice conversation with the westbourough baptist church?


throw a couple Molotov cocktails and watch them burn to death
Dec 28 2010 10:33PM
0 0
profile picture
Fish_Sandwich.
Posts: 9108 - Karma: 16
Nice.  The baby ones, not so much.  I used to think they were hilarious but I guess as you get older they get less funny.
Dec 28 2010 10:39PM
0 0
profile picture
theWIZARD
Posts: 935 - Karma: 76

whats the hardest part of snowbaording?

sitting at the top of the park

whats the easiest part of snowboarding?

"telling" your friends you hit the feature

/\ ade those up hopefully someone appreciates them

Dec 28 2010 11:06PM
0 0
profile picture
theWIZARD
Posts: 935 - Karma: 76
damnit. oh well
Dec 28 2010 11:08PM
0 0
profile picture
pow314
Posts: 424 - Karma: 111
what do you call three black guys chilling in a barn?

antique farm equipment.


whats the difference between sarah palins vagina and her mouth?

only one retarded thing has come out ouf her vagina.
Dec 29 2010 6:25AM
0 0
profile picture
trippysheep
Posts: 63 - Karma: 10
i like them cause their true
Dec 29 2010 12:26PM
0 0
profile picture
ImNotARacist
Posts: 5136 - Karma: -1,030
FUCK YOU!
Dec 29 2010 12:31PM
0 0
profile picture
maximiliaan
Posts: 7711 - Karma: 2,857
A giraffe walks into the bakery and asks the baker: Do you sell white bread?
the baker says: No i only sell brown bread
Giraffe: Ah, doesnt matter im by bike!!!

HAHAHAHA
Dec 29 2010 12:31PM
0 0
profile picture
yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
dude wtf ...
Dec 29 2010 12:33PM
0 0
profile picture
Jamestown
Posts: 4002 - Karma: 51
What did one butt cheek say to the other?



Let's do this shit.
Dec 29 2010 12:34PM
0 0
profile picture
DirtyDiabetic
Posts: 308 - Karma: 11
Whats brown and rhymes with snoop?


































Dr. Dre
Dec 29 2010 12:36PM
0 0
profile picture
Stickity
Posts: 7750 - Karma: 769
women's rights

wanna hear a funnier joke?

civil rights

even funnier?

sarah palin
Dec 29 2010 12:48PM
0 0
profile picture
Travapple.
Posts: 6787 - Karma: 88
nah
Dec 29 2010 1:09PM
0 0
profile picture
iSmokeweed
Posts: 4793 - Karma: 1,370
Whats worse than ten babies in one trash can?

one baby in ten trashcans.

whats worst than one baby in ten trashcans?

ten trashcans in one baby.

Dec 29 2010 1:40PM
0 0
profile picture
.thedude
Posts: 292 - Karma: 16
So there's a priest, a rabbi and a nonreligious man on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and announces that the engines have failed and they will have to evacuate the plane immediately. Fortunately there are enough parachutes for everybody and evacuation is orderly.

There are three men trapped on an island. One is black, one is white, and the other is asian. They spend  their lives having great adventures trying to escape the island but never succeed and get eaten by wild dogs one night in their sleep.
Dec 29 2010 1:50PM
0 0
profile picture
E.C.
Posts: 3211 - Karma: 319
holy fuck enough with the dead baby jokes
Dec 29 2010 2:01PM
0 0
profile picture
ThaLetterM.
Posts: 8609 - Karma: 1,613
So a man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.
Dec 29 2010 2:10PM
0 0
profile picture
Stickity
Posts: 7750 - Karma: 769
me trying too hard
i'll leave now
Dec 29 2010 2:30PM
0 0
profile picture
RiddleMeThis
Posts: 749 - Karma: 117
i love the anti-climactic jokes haha i lol'd
Dec 29 2010 2:44PM
0 0
profile picture
MN_Nice
Posts: 3824 - Karma: 56
Lol'd
Dec 29 2010 3:34PM
0 0
profile picture
EastCoastPowBird
Posts: 100 - Karma: 20

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

Trick question, feminists cant change anything

Dec 29 2010 3:56PM
0 0
profile picture
skifoo
Posts: 1396 - Karma: 45
i don't seriously understand your humour.. Let me try

Whats worse than 1 baby crying in the car?

10 babies crying in the car.

how do you get 100 babies into 1 seated car?

put them in blender.

seriously wtf ...
Dec 29 2010 4:00PM
0 0
profile picture
FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
YOU STOLE THAT IVE HEARD IT BEFORE! IMPOSTER!
Dec 29 2010 4:06PM
0 0
profile picture
little1337
Posts: 8271 - Karma: 48,460
lol
Dec 29 2010 4:07PM
0 0
profile picture
Tinga
Posts: 11349 - Karma: 2,333
what do you call a boomerang that doesnt work?


a stick.


what do you say when you pass a black man standing next to a white man standing next to an asian man on a street corner?


what a culturally diverse part of the town
Dec 29 2010 4:35PM
0 0
profile picture
switchington
Posts: 277 - Karma: 14
News: Lady Gaga dropping Facebook for charity. She should also think about dropping her knickers, for clarity. What do you do if you come across a tiger in the Jungle?  Wipe it off and apologise. A girl in a bar said to me, "I wouldn't fuck you if you were the last person alive."Leaning over and whispering, I replied, "But who would be around to stop me? "Wiped the smug look off her face.
Dec 29 2010 6:23PM
0 0
profile picture
switchington
Posts: 277 - Karma: 14
Sorry phone version can't put in gaps
Dec 29 2010 6:25PM
0 0
profile picture
The.Ginger
Posts: 978 - Karma: 13
threads for later when i think of a good joke to post
Dec 29 2010 6:35PM
0 0
profile picture
flexpattern
Posts: 1090 - Karma: 45
How many snowboarders does it take to change a light bulb above a stair well?



1 to change it. 10 to sit on the landing saying that they could have done it better.

Dec 29 2010 6:41PM
0 0
profile picture
J.DUKE
Posts: 1233 - Karma: 38
excellent
Dec 29 2010 6:42PM
0 0
profile picture
FreeskierRocco.
Posts: 3740 - Karma: 91

What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?

A bench can support a family

What's the difference between a Black man and an elevator?

An elevator can raise a child

Dec 29 2010 7:00PM
0 0
profile picture
DivisionWest
Posts: 18 - Karma: 11
What's the difference between marmalade and Jam?


You can't marmalade your dick up your girlfriends ass



And why so much snowboarder hate?
ohwell
Dec 29 2010 7:38PM
0 0
profile picture
Ehh...
Posts: 1897 - Karma: 1,423
If a tree falls on a woman and theres nobody else around to hear it... why was there a tree in the kitchen?
Dec 29 2010 7:39PM
0 0
profile picture
DERS.
Posts: 6299 - Karma: 1,293
whats the difference between a pizza and a dead baby?




i dont fuck my pizzas before i eat them
Dec 29 2010 9:22PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)