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Your first time (yes, sex)

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Rbamf
Posts: 792 - Karma: 15
my first time GETTING LAID-

met this girl through one of my friends at a (relatively) young 16 years old. 

1st time we hang out.  i make out with her and start laughing in the middle of it.  she get pissed.  but i kiss her more and it's ok.

2nd time we hang out.  i drive her up to the top of a mountain.  get her shirt off.  her tits are huuuge, like enormous compared to her skinny little body.  get her pants off.  eat her out.  i cannot get hard for the life of me.  i will later learn they call this "performance anxiety"

3rd time we hang out.  go to her house.  make out on her couch.  take her shirt off.  huge boobs.  she is gorgeous.  move to her bed.  get naked.  make out.  try to get it in.  cannot find the entrance.  imagine a blind guy trying to park his car in his garage; but, since he can't see he just runs into the side of his house repeatedly for 20 minutes until he finally gets in by a stroke of luck (no pun intended).  lasts about 2 mintues.  bam.

like with weed, it only gets better the more you do it.
Dec 16 2010 9:59PM
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gmack24
Posts: 4636 - Karma: 31
TLDR....holy repost attention whore.
Dec 16 2010 10:00PM
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Smuffy
Posts: 4686 - Karma: 3,408
can i get a

R-R-R-REEEEPOST
Dec 16 2010 10:01PM
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Ahmadinejad
Posts: 181 - Karma: 16
claim.
Dec 16 2010 10:02PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37399 - Karma: 120,276
Repost, chief.

I haven't lost mine yet :(
Dec 16 2010 10:02PM
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Gstrong
Posts: 4776 - Karma: 519
quality
Dec 16 2010 10:02PM
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Poon_Handler
Posts: 361 - Karma: 42
OMG same here! Please tell me we didn't fuck.
Dec 16 2010 10:02PM
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maximiliaan
Posts: 7711 - Karma: 2,857
what kind of wine?
Dec 16 2010 10:03PM
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Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,169
mine was pathetic. The story deserves its own thread but not in NSG.
Dec 16 2010 10:04PM
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canterbury
Posts: 2382 - Karma: 55
that was beautiful
Dec 16 2010 10:05PM
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Smuffy
Posts: 4686 - Karma: 3,408
Camembert is excellent

no joke. good choice
Dec 16 2010 10:09PM
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rudager
Posts: 11335 - Karma: 4,624
The worst. Happens to the best of us men.
Dec 16 2010 10:10PM
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Rbamf
Posts: 792 - Karma: 15
haha ya im repost attention whore dont worry about it
Dec 16 2010 10:11PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,014
no one here likes you
Dec 16 2010 10:16PM
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Rbamf
Posts: 792 - Karma: 15
no one here cares
Dec 16 2010 10:18PM
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Scott0_robot0
Posts: 3291 - Karma: 212
i put it in the wrong hole :(
Dec 16 2010 10:20PM
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rudager
Posts: 11335 - Karma: 4,624
Belly button?
Dec 16 2010 10:21PM
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Deezy
Posts: 4580 - Karma: 1,004
stab wound?
Dec 16 2010 10:23PM
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canterbury
Posts: 2382 - Karma: 55
I dunno if lasting 2 mins qualifies this as a mega claim thread
Dec 16 2010 10:23PM
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1337
Posts: 31054 - Karma: 29,246
GUYS HE MEANT THE ASSHOLE GEEZE STOP FOOLING AROUND
Dec 16 2010 10:26PM
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Zimmerman
Posts: 6992 - Karma: 1,021
.

and also this is not what i meant by "a different thread." i meant there is actually a different thread for you to post in.  (not to you gnartron)
Dec 16 2010 10:26PM
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Scott0_robot0
Posts: 3291 - Karma: 212
no i actually ment that little hole when people smoke to much, the one in her neck. she said she was going to give me head.
Dec 16 2010 10:29PM
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rockjumper
Posts: 496 - Karma: 13
Any guy who "eats out" a girl after 2 days and has not received ether sex or fellatio is a buster.
Going down on a pussy you have never seen in day light is a terrible idea. Could be possibly be worse then going down there for the first time and discovering a green seeping slit. That would be discussing. I also think your story is complete bull shit.
Dec 16 2010 10:29PM
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rudager
Posts: 11335 - Karma: 4,624
I'm just speaking from personal experience. It was the prequel to my first time. Or think how Lion King 1 1/2 is...
Dec 16 2010 10:30PM
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KatyPerry.
Posts: 1051 - Karma: 23
ewwww
Dec 16 2010 10:31PM
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skiierman
Posts: 28699 - Karma: -5,563
my first time was with a bitch with an extended tail bone. i thought i was fucking a boxer at one point.
Dec 16 2010 10:34PM
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Scott0_robot0
Posts: 3291 - Karma: 212
it was gross at the time but it was to date the best "head" i have ever got. for free at least...
Dec 16 2010 10:35PM
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MEGAZORD
Posts: 4531 - Karma: -7
Cuntpunch.
Dec 16 2010 10:47PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37399 - Karma: 120,276
I'm considering this for my first time. Some serious shit might happen.
Dec 16 2010 10:49PM
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Ducksauce
Posts: 78 - Karma: 11
easy tiger.... uh.. lion
Dec 16 2010 10:54PM
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Jonny7
Posts: 3309 - Karma: 76
pics of the girls are required to judge whether it is a true story
Dec 16 2010 10:56PM
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Skittle.
Posts: 2537 - Karma: 718
lol i see what you did there
Dec 16 2010 10:57PM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944
Mine was a redhead. She was ultra freaky.
Dec 16 2010 11:01PM
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rudager
Posts: 11335 - Karma: 4,624
Mine could have been a red head. Didn't have a RUBBA.

Then we broke up about 2 weeks after. Oh the glory days of being 16.
Dec 16 2010 11:13PM
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Campeador
Posts: 7516 - Karma: -1,227
first time i got shitfaced
Dec 17 2010 1:34AM
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Username_42069
Posts: 1591 - Karma: 15
i remember my first confirmed kill..
Dec 17 2010 1:53AM
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Chilly.
Posts: 930 - Karma: 24
Mine was on a couch while watching Mean Girls on TV... Ironically the part where the gym teacher is telling kids that if you have sex you WILL get AIDS. LOLZ
Dec 17 2010 2:07AM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,014
SEW IRONIC!!!111!1one!!1!!
Dec 17 2010 2:08AM
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inactive
Posts: 4772 - Karma: 97
blood fucking everywhere
Dec 17 2010 7:00AM
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little1337
Posts: 8241 - Karma: 47,863
you sir, have made me shit my pants
Dec 17 2010 8:12AM
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.frenchy
Posts: 18221 - Karma: 12,323
Turn that frown upside down.
Dec 17 2010 10:58AM
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freestyle016
Posts: 119 - Karma: 14
well every hole is a goal !
Dec 17 2010 11:36AM
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skiierman
Posts: 28699 - Karma: -5,563
i think its ok to talk about now. last time i talked to her was junior year in HS.
Dec 17 2010 11:38AM
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Ducksauce
Posts: 78 - Karma: 11
i'm so glad i'm not a girl
Dec 17 2010 1:13PM
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dex.
Posts: 2973 - Karma: 62
this..


uuuuugggghhhhhh it was terrible
Dec 17 2010 2:02PM
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thisandthatfilms
Posts: 7714 - Karma: 526
i didnt even read it
Dec 17 2010 2:14PM
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Rbamf
Posts: 792 - Karma: 15
wow.  a lot of the responses on here lead me to believe most of you guys are cherishing your v cards.  it's ok, youre probably really young. 

this shit happened like 11 years ago, btw.  the first time smoking weed thread made me remmber it. 

and how are you GUYS having blood everywhere you're first time?  like your first gay experience or something?  im not gonna hate, but damn that gross.
Dec 17 2010 2:17PM
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Rbamf
Posts: 792 - Karma: 15
and you shouldn't.  this is a little over your head junior.
Dec 17 2010 2:19PM
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thisandthatfilms
Posts: 7714 - Karma: 526
haha ok bud
Dec 17 2010 2:22PM
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Tex.
Posts: 1106 - Karma: 124
pretty sure they're talking about fucking a chick on her period or poppin her cherry?...
i thank god i've never experienced either of those
Dec 17 2010 2:35PM
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hoodratz47
Posts: 12020 - Karma: 9,475

when you obleritate the hymen there is some blood involved... virgin blood.. FUCKING VIRGIN PUSSY BLOOD>. fuckin gnarly...     your like .. wow i fucked you and theres blood on my cock.. !!! and she crying trying to act like she liked it..  but no girl like the first time.. unless they frigged the shit out them slefs before they had sex the first time... end rant!

Dec 17 2010 2:38PM
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