-------------Warning, the story contains a pretty disgusting subject-------------------------
Jesus fucking christ...
I
knew it wasn't going to be easy getting into the jenk business. I mean
dealing is one thing, and I can produce a couple of balloons every day
no problem, but when you reach the big leagues shit ain't easy.
Let this be a warning to you all, learn from my misstakes.
Day 1:
Me and my associates started off easy, basically we just enjoyed
ourselves eating lots of junk food, drank beer and coffee to upset our
stomachs.
At first we went into the bathroom one by one, just doing our business.
It was easy at this point, we had these cheap ass air filters to protect from the smell while we filled the bottles.
Someone
was stupid enough to let the curiosity get the better of him and
removed his filter to find out what it smelled like. He puked and puked
and kept puking, partially dissolved food all over our brown gold, and
once he ran out of food in his stomach to puke up he just gargled up
yellow-ish saliva.
He had to take the day off. On the plus side we used the puke to experiment with a new strain.
Day 2: On this day we learned what happens when you don't bother showering away the stuff you never used on day 1.
A
thin crust has formed at the bottom of the bathtub, and jesus christ
when you poke it the shit makes noises that made us wish we had gotten
ear plugs as well.
Two of the others puked again. I had them clear out the puke as there wasn't enough shit to cut it.
Didn't
know what to do with the stale ass crap at the bottom, it's useless as
far as making jenk goes. We talked about it and decided we had to cover
it up with more excrement. We went through the whole eat and drink deal,
and production started once again.
We realized at night that we had
enough balloons but not enough bottles. Had to go out and buy more. Half
the living room is filled with jenk bottles now. The layer of shit we
couldn't use has grown even thicker, pointless to even try removing it
with just water at this point.
Day 3: Someone
brought a bag of powder, some opi's he got from a russian he said. Don't
know what it was called but it took the edge off, didn't care much for
the smell and even if we puked a few times it didn't really phase us.
We
kept filling that tub, at this point we no longer bothered "doing the
deed" alone, we were all to numbed off to care that we were shitting in a
bathtub together.
Downside? You sometimes forgot to wipe. Jesus fucking christ we would have had to throw out the sofa once we were done.
I
saw my friend crying as he shat out the bean soup we had for lunch. One
of the guys suggested we'd add his tears to a bottle to see if it would
add a flavor. We didn't.
Day 4: We were busted.
Sure,
it's not illegal to produce or sell jenk. But none of us had thought
about the consequences of having a bathtub reeking of shit and puke in
an apartment complex.
The guy that rented the apartment got evicted
on the spot, I think he's contemplating suicide. All of us got fined.
We'd be able to pay it off with the profit from selling but we've got a
living room stacked with bottles everywhere and no where to move them.
Fuck, just thinking about this mess makes me just want to break down and cry my heart out like a wounded dog.
