Of youth and guns, of cops and betrayal.

ohh trust me man i was in that same boat except i had it worse

idk if you were around last summer when i told everyone about my injury. it happened near the end of July.

I was 16. I had gotten my first car a few months before my injury and it was summer break. So, i was goin out everyday, chillin with mad people, smokin mad bad, i was pretty active and I had alot of friend and befoe school ended I was talkin to a lot of bitches. I had alot of things going for me. That was probably the prime of my life.

Then one day I had found a shrooms connect (and shrooms are hard to come by in the hood). So, I took advantage of it and decided to cop kater that day. I was hyped and I planned the whole night out. I was gonna trip and walk around and my friend who was broke was gonna be my sitter. Well, the guy never came through and I was pretty bummed and I had my mind set that I was gonna trip on something that night.

TL;DR: Fucking read it you illiterate piece of shit.
I decided that I'd do DXM with my friend. I had robotripped once before and it was a pretty fun experience but, got boring after a while. So, I thought doing it with my best friend would be more fun.

We downed the robo sometime around 9 and my friend who never tried it before was feeling it pretty good. But, for some reason I didnt get that high off of it. Nowhere near as high as I got my first time. We enjoyed the night though; Running around, doing some crazy shit. It was about 3 am and the high was wearing off and we were thinking of what to do. We wanted to cop bud, cause we were ready for the night to end. I hit up a couple connects, but none of them would serve me up because it was too late.

Living in the hood, there were a lot of street dealers walkin around every night selling bud. Nothing fire though, cause ghetto people are too ignorant to pay 10$ for half a gram of fire when they could get enough for 1 fat blunt for 5 dollars with regs or zona (a term we use for mids).

So, we gather up 3 singles and 2$ in coins. We usually walk towards the corner store and back and 60-70% of the time we'd find someone who has bud. If you were well recognized in the area, the dealers would go up to you asking if you needed bud or if you asked they'd let you know they got it since hey know your straight. Well, me and my friend were one of the few light skinned people in the neighborhood so we were recognized by a lot of people.

But, out of our lazyness and poor judgement, we decided to drive to the corner store, get the singles and coins exchanged for a 5, and walk around and cop a 5 sack.

as we were driving to the corner store, 2 dudes that i guess knew we were trying to cop yelled out "yall need any trees?" this took us by surprise cause its never this easy.. and nobody ever blatantly yelled it out like that when we were trying to cop. normally id have thpought it was too shady and just sad no, bu the dxm impaired my judgement, and i was just happy that we found a dealer. we tell him we need a nick, and they say brown or green. that shouldve set off a red flag in my head cause green, which is good bud, doesnt get sold in 5 pieces. but of course, the dxm had me not thinking smart. i told him green. we said we needed to go change coins for a 5 bill at the corner store. so we proceeded to go, and we were in a good mood talking about how easy it was especially for it being at 3am. we honestly didnt expect tp find someone so quick.

we get the 5, and start diving back. it was obly 2 streets down from the corberstore so it was a fairly short drive

they told me to pull up down this street next to the white trucvk. that there shouldve set off the biggest alarm in m head cause all the street deals i do, i do them right there in the open and i that neighborhoods its no bi deal, especially at 3am. but of course my dumbass listened. i drive down the street, put my car in parkm and get the money ready in hand. im talking to my friend, still in my good mood since we were about to get the bud and enjoy the rest of the night. the next thing i know, i look left to see if the guys up[ to the car yet and i see himright there at my window with a gun out pulled to my face, and he said get out the car. i had just a split second to decide whether i should give him the car, or attempt to drive away.

a million thoughts raced through my head in such little time. you ant sit there and think well should i get out? or leave?

i immediately ducked, put the car in drive, and slammed on the gas. there was no way i was gonna risk both me and my friends life by getting out of the car and letting him shoot us as he leavs with my car, and i sure as hell wasnt gonna walk home that night.

the next thing i realize, it felt like a car had rammed into the left side of my body. there wa only 1 rxplanation of why i felt this pain, but i was in so much shock that for a few seconds i didnt know what jus happened.

my body went into shock, everything went numb, and a few seconds later the reality of what happened set in. i told my friend i think i was shot, and the blood pouring down my chest, back, sides and every part of my body confirmed that. he had a .38 revolver, fully loaded. he shot all 6 bullets, only hitting me once. thestrange thiung is that i didn hear a single shot

my friend was freaking uout worse than i was. i have a tendency to joke around about things when i have a serious, painful injury to try and calm myself as well as my friend down. i told my friend, so, im a g now right? he didnt have a sense of humor at the tie though.

i wasnt supposed to be out that night. as far as my mom knew, i was at home in bed. i was thinking how im gonna heal myself without going to the hospital. instead of thinking how much pain im in. or if i was gonna survive, i was thinking fuck im gonna be in so much touble how am i gonna explain this to my mom

despite all the pain, shock, and being in the process of vbleeding to death, i managed to driv3 about 8-9 block because the safety of me and my friend was more important than stopping and worrying about my pain. i lost so much blood that eventually my whole vision started to go black, like when you stand up fast and get lightheaded and everything goes black for a bit. but his time it went pitch fucking black.i put the car in park and told my friend to drive. i got out of the car, and felt my way around the car trying to make it to the passenger side, but hslfway there i collapsed to the floor. i left a nice blood stain that remained there for a few days. i had made it maybe 10 seconds away from my friends house (i sure as hell wasnt gonna go to my house when theres 2 guys ytrying to kill me haha) i thought that my vision fading away was because i was dying, and my life didnt flash before my life or anything like that. for a few seconds i thought about everyone and everything i left behind, and i felt stuck cause theree was nothing i could do about it.. i couldnt even say bye. after a few moments i had accepted that i was going to die, an told my friend that i was going to sleep now. i remember him saying dont die on me man, then i lost consciousnesss

about 10 minutes later, i woke up in my car, parked in his driveway. for a few seconds after i woke up, i felt relieved and thought, oh my god.. was that all just a draeam? bu i look down and see my white tee, now completely red, with a hole in my chest. then the heat sets back in, and i realize my head is dripping with sweat. when blood drips down your body, its very cold.. the whole time i was sweating and hot, i was shivering and cold. my friends mom was there when i woke up, and she was holding a rag to the exit wound, which stopped the bleeding abd nrought me back into consciousness. i asked for a cup of water as if it were my dying wish ,cause i was burning up. my friemds mom went to go get it, and when she left i pulled uot my phone to try and take a pic of myself, drenched in blood, pake as a ghost, cause i thought it would look cool. my vision was still kinda off from when i passed out, and i was a bit disoriented and couldmt get to my canera.

before i coud get the picture, the cops arrived and started interrogating ,e. they treated me like i was the suspect, yelling at me sayng they know i was selling or buying drugs. i got really angry with them, and told them i was in too much pain to talk to them and that they should talk to my friemd instead of me. since i took the bullet, i thought my friend woul take tthe heat from the cops and not say what we were really out there for

the a,bulance came, ripped off my clothes, and put me on the stretcher. after they ripped off my shirt and i saw the fresh bullet wound, it hit me how serious this really was. the bullet hit nerves that run through my left arm, and it paralyzed my whole left aem after it happened. i asked if i was gonna live and if my arm was permanently paralyzed, and the cops and ambulance ignored me as if to say youre gonna die and you desrve it.

in the ambulance on the way to the hospital where i didnt have to worry about getting me and my friend to safety, i had to just lay there and it gave me the opportunity to just focus on my pain, which was radiatuing through my whole body and i couldnt act brave that much longer so and i was there moaning in pain nearly half of the drive to the hospital

after i get to the hospital and they put me on the table, it was just straight pain and stabbing and shots and incisions. they gave me tetanus shots, some other shots, they stabbed my groin area multiple times to pop a blood vessel pr something i forgot what, then stitched iy back up, all without numbin it or giving me painkillers or anything. then they dug through the bullet holes removing bullet fragments. all the while so,e man is pinching my dick, but with all the crazyness going on i didmt ask why. a man said "thats sad.. the human body isnt meant to go through this much pain" then immediately after i realized why the ma nwas pinching my dick.. he was getting it ready to put the catheter in. it was one of the most painful/akward experiemces of my life. at that point i was swinging and cursing at the doctors i was not ready for that shit.

after afew more painful procedures that i dont completely remember, they leave me in a room and theres a cop there watching me. i was in more pain thn ive ever been in. i was no longer moaning, but yelling in pain.. one of the nurses actually told me to be quiiet cause a patient was complainig.. i bet they didnt know it was a teenage boy who got shot that was yelling.. dumb fuck

my mom and aunt camw, and before they got to talk to me, a detective pulled them to the side and said i got shot trying to buy weed, and that i smoke weed daily and occasionally sell. i guess my friend couldt keep his mouth shut. i dont know why they needed to ask hpw often i smoke or if we sell or not to find the guy tat shot me, but it proves tat cops are complete assholes.. trying t kick me while im down by telling ,y ppl about weed after i got shot.

and thats how my family found out i smoke weed.. after the cops told them when i got shot. i felt horrible. my mom was balling in tears in to icuu, and i felt horrible. after 2 long, painful, sleepless days i was discharged from the hospital.things were never the same. i lost all trust from my mom, my family saw me as a druggie and that i deserved to get shot. i lost motion in my left arm (currently its getting better.. its healed about 60%)

i was not able to start school again for 3 months.. i spent those 3 months on the couch living in ,y aunts house. thet said i didnt deserve to sleep on a bed because its my fault i got shot. i became very weak, and i lozt 30 pounds. 2 weeks after i got shot, i had a massive blood clot the size of a grapefruit where the bulletwound was. i was having horrible muscle spasms from it that i cant even explain how much they hurt.. it was absolutely horrible.. id get them maybe 5 times a day and each one felt like the pain of getting shot again.. if not then worse

speant a little over a week in the hospital, and over there people cared for me and i wasshot up with dilaudid every few hours upon my request. i gained a liking towards the hospital.. as a matter of fact, i loved it there. i felt unwanted at home, i hated it there cause my aunt and cousins, who let me live there after i got shot, it felt as if they resented me and made it seem as if i was shot buying heroin.

i would find any excuse i could to go back to the e.r., from complaining to being in alot of pain, to many other excuses. i just loved it there.

i spent maybe 5 months in total couped up in the house, spending the whole day laying on my couch, in excruciating pain. the highight of my days were going to therapy, which i did 3 times a week. even though it was the only time i went out, i hated it so much.

i went from a happy, social, sort of popular kid, to only talking to friemds online. the months and months i spemt inside at home made me lose all my social skills. i had all m old friends, but as time passed and they all got ever the shock of me getting shot, i faded away from them and pretty much lost all connection with them. i got rejected from an online schooling program because my grades last year was too bad, so despite all the pain nd the difficulties of geting dressed everyday and going to school and all that, i entered a new public school.

people asked what hppened of course, and for a while i was the talk of all my classmates cause in this suburban part of the city i now lived in, its not common meeting a kid that got shot. but after spending months on my couch, i lost social skills. so after everyone got ever me getting shot, i had no friends to talk to because i couldnt make any. i dreaded shool. at times i wished the bullet that hit me killed me, cause i was majorly depressed.i only had 2 friends at that school that i talked to.. i knew them from church, and to be perfectly honest, they were losers. i hated them so much.. but i hate being alone.. eating alone.. walking aroiund school alone.. for fear of being looed at as a loser.. so i hung out with my 2 loser friends everyday so i looked like less of a loser.

there was a new school that staryted this year, and alot of my friends from my old school went there, so i knew alt of ppl there, but it was out of the boundaries where my aunt lived. after alot of hard work, i managed to talk to the director of school board of my countys schools, and i mde up a stry saying that i was scared going to schoool at my school because i got shot "in the area" and i wanted to go to the new school cause it was more far out west and is more "white" aka safer. i made up alot of bullhsit and made myself sound like an emo pusst, and after a few weeks of all that hard work it all payed off. i managed to get a boundary relocation which allowed me to go to a school out of my boundarys and i did it all by myself, without the help of my mom. i talked to my friend who just got his cara ns he agreed to tke me to and from school everyday and id give him 20$ a week for gas. i started smoking weed again with him after stopping for months after i got shot. i still was not that social when i started going to the school, but i had alot more friends since i knew many of these people already.

since this new school is more "white", people were more amazed to meet someone that got shot. the girls loved me for that, the guys thought it was crazy and alot of people thought i was cool for it, and there were a few who were jeakous that i came ou of nowhere and was getting all this attention. as the months passed, i started talking to more people. all my friends were guys though, and a few of my friemds were famales. i just didnt know how to talk to girls. but as my confidence grew, that all changed and im talking to alot of chicks now, and socially m back to normal

i didnt mean for this to get so long, but i was wrapped up in telling the story and i got carrie d away and mentioned almost eery detail. o hope you enjoyed the stry, cause it took me long ad hell to write caues i only have one working hand lol enjoy