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Jaskittin
Posts: 5606 - Karma: 195
You: SO, you wanna dance?
Girl: No, get away.
You: Cmon baby, lower your standards, I lowerd mine.

I dunno, i just saw the pick up line thread, i thoiught of this. Im sure these will help JD out in the future.




Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.


-Not enough money for a summer camp this year-session 4

_-_-_-_Scoot4Life_-_-_-_
May 29 2004 10:30PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,142
Bit immature? Yeah, you're quite petty.

------------
In a haze
A stormy haze
I’ll be around
I’ll be loving you
Always
Always

Here I am
And I’ll take my time
Here I am
And I’ll wait in line
Always
Always...
May 29 2004 10:31PM
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petek
Posts: 8762 - Karma: 12
dont say this has never happenned to you JD.



Buck fush
May 29 2004 10:33PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,142
Just don't ask unless they'll say yes. Talk to them for a bit and you can usually tell.

------------
In a haze
A stormy haze
I’ll be around
I’ll be loving you
Always
Always

Here I am
And I’ll take my time
Here I am
And I’ll wait in line
Always
Always...
May 29 2004 10:35PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,142
Oh, wait. dancing. I thought this was about dating. No, that's never happened, actually, not with a dance.

------------
In a haze
A stormy haze
I’ll be around
I’ll be loving you
Always
Always

Here I am
And I’ll take my time
Here I am
And I’ll wait in line
Always
Always...
May 29 2004 10:36PM
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shorty_T
Posts: 2725 - Karma: 761
we had this seinor citizen prom thing here last month that i DJ'ed at an i saw this 16 year old kid go up to an 84 year old lady, and this is what i heard...
'excuse me ma'am, would you like to dance?'
*affectionatly takes his hand while staying seated*
'you know, i don't think i'm going to but thanks anyway'
'oh, ok then. don't brake your hip on the way out, bitch'
soooo funny, i thought he was going to cry.
-Tammy skis
___________________________________________________________
-ski for life- Just say fuck it and huck it!
~pain is weakness leaving the body~
Newschoolers.com, often imitated, never duplicated.-GhostDragon
''I think i just shat myself...no, wait, that's just snow in my pants...''
Girls don't fart or burp... they're supposed to smell nice and look pretty all the time.-kamikaze
'naw, i am more of a tanner type of guy' (about how hot sarah burke is)-hoodratz47
May 29 2004 10:36PM
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Jaskittin
Posts: 5606 - Karma: 195
Haha, thats sweet




Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.


-Not enough money for a summer camp this year-session 4

_-_-_-_Scoot4Life_-_-_-_
May 29 2004 10:38PM
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waterville_NH
Posts: 3411 - Karma: 23
^hahahahaha




____________________________________
-Harrison

SSK PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS: MOTION (LARRY HODGEDON) IM ME FOR MORE INFO

You are a total asshole. Tripping a pregnant girl is not okay.
-eastcoastpride
May 29 2004 10:38PM
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Bangor
Posts: 9599 - Karma: 129
ahahahahahahah, that's great...... cruel, but great.......
___________________

- Ian
That's Mr. Bangor to you!

~~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~~
May 29 2004 10:48PM
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GeneralButtNaked
Posts: 7854 - Karma: 89
im gonna have to use that if you dont mind





i was going to go for a quad daffy but i was like, why huck? -mommy
May 29 2004 10:56PM
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lineskier10
Posts: 11339 - Karma: 796
jd doesnt go to dances obviously, he wears all black, sniffs sharpies and listens to rage against the machine at home with a big che poster on the wall, fantasizing about the day he leads a rebel force into america to take out president bush
--------------------

HIGH NORTH SESSION 4

The Hot Sauce Champion of the World
May 29 2004 11:01PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,142
^Haha, I thought I was a pacifist? Isn't that how you normally refer to me? I shouldn't be leading a strike force. Anyways, I'm not a big RATM fan, but I do look pretty good in black. Poster of who? And I haven't been to a dance since I graduated. I've been to a few formal events where there were dancing, though. However, overall, university is less about dances and more about drinking.

------------
In a haze
A stormy haze
I’ll be around
I’ll be loving you
Always
Always

Here I am
And I’ll take my time
Here I am
And I’ll wait in line
Always
Always...
May 29 2004 11:04PM
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lineskier10
Posts: 11339 - Karma: 796
che guverra or however you spell his last name, i thought you would forget about ur pacifist side when given the chance to overthrow preisdent bush
--------------------

HIGH NORTH SESSION 4

The Hot Sauce Champion of the World
May 29 2004 11:05PM
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SmoKinSkier
Posts: 5501 - Karma: 20
HaHA nice line i feel that line!




...I have Dated a girl for her brains Big, HUGE Brains!!
May 29 2004 11:53PM
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ESB
Posts: 9274 - Karma: 10,648
Me: Do you want to dance?
Her: No.

Me: Oh, you must not have heard me right. I said 'You look fat in those pants.'

Q: How many NS.com members does it take to answer a simple question?
A: 10. One to answer, three to say 'How fucking stupid are you?', three to say 'This has already been asked a thousand times', and three to say 'Who the fuck cares anyway?'
May 30 2004 1:22AM
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Breheny
Posts: 1262 - Karma: 436
^HAHAHAHAHAHAHA


-Nick

I have a problem solver, his name is revolver

Everything i say is a lie......except that.....and that

'He was probably beating it to some sexy orangatang tittes in a national geographic' - Lateralis
May 30 2004 1:41AM
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Freestyla_01
Posts: 8586 - Karma: 34
-Wanna get a pizza and fuck?
-No.
-What? You don't like pizza?
'its the candybabyfountainwatertiretreadpencileraserdoorknobstopperbasketballhoopethiopianclockradiodivegooglegoggleboggle
shwartzchairlikeelephanttreessadbirdpootigerjuicebottlerumdrunkenmasterfighterkillertomatopastetoothbrushtailsantlersdisplaycase
toothbrushtailsantlersdisplaycasestudyhallwaydowntownassassinmaneateryoungkippurherringsrowboatankerwankerspankertankgirlpowerspice
meatballparmaseancheesewhizbangermetalhornsdogchowmeinstreetcardesiresexpleasethanksmaamspamalopecantelopeicecreamcone
meatballparmaseancheesewhizbangermetalhornsdogchowmeinstreetcardesiresexpleasethanksmaamspamalopecantelopeicecreamcone
phonehomebusinesscardsharkfinsoupnatsiscumbagpipesmokerlungbiscuitbowlnoodlesaladtongsbatontwirlertwistshakebakecakeholehumperdink kink rail.'
May 30 2004 5:29AM
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west
Posts: 5229 - Karma: 36
Thats good.^




better to burn out...
...then fade away
May 30 2004 8:57AM
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Apple
Posts: 7906 - Karma: 33
these are halarious! i wish i was clever enough to think of somthing.
-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
--->CCR*
May 30 2004 9:24AM
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trevorwoulddoit
Posts: 6153 - Karma: 199
keep em' coming



Hey Jesus, did you order a cab? -Robin Williams

It's not my life that i would've been scared for.. it's the fact that my asian parents would have went all... asian and shyte -ilovehead

You could snort ice... -My friend's mom not realizing what she just said.

Armada





May 30 2004 3:07PM
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shorty_T
Posts: 2725 - Karma: 761
'hey baby, what's your sign?'
'do not enter'

'would you like to dance?'
'yes but not with you'
-Tammy skis
___________________________________________________________
-ski for life- Just say fuck it and huck it!
~pain is weakness leaving the body~
Newschoolers.com, often imitated, never duplicated.-GhostDragon
''I think i just shat myself...no, wait, that's just snow in my pants...''
Girls don't fart or burp... they're supposed to smell nice and look pretty all the time.-kamikaze
'naw, i am more of a tanner type of guy' (about how hot sarah burke is)-hoodratz47
May 30 2004 3:14PM
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teembosqet17
Posts: 412 - Karma: 17
'DO YOU MIND IF I BANG ON YOU WITH MY DENIM COCK, FOR ABOUT AN HOUR??'

- dane cook





teem bousquet
May 30 2004 3:31PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
This one happened to me once when I was 14,it was pretty embarassing.. :(

Me: 'Hey,you look fiiiine, can I have your number?'
She: '....I just became a lesbian 2 seconds ago.'

******************

Hummingbird style: 70 times in one second.

Does Crichton smoke? Does a bear shit in the woods? -Rex
May 30 2004 3:37PM
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skierdudeguy
Posts: 6574 - Karma: 81
HAHAHAHAHA

I'm not to sure but i did score in the jenious area- loafrider, on IQ tests
May 30 2004 4:01PM
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jibtastic
Posts: 4391 - Karma: 67
its properly said..
'Wanna come over for pizza and sex?'
sounds cooler that way.


-------------------------

'becuz atomick gives him more sstickerz so he is more spansczord'
-YAMATOM9 on why Mikael Deschaneux would go to Atomic
May 30 2004 4:43PM
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IrishDrink87
Posts: 1568 - Karma: 17
hey, im ordering pizza now!


I dont want a large Farva!
May 30 2004 4:49PM
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ErikT
Posts: 2750 - Karma: 14
^^ he'll bring the sex


Peace, Love and cheers for good bud.
May 30 2004 5:52PM
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skiierman
Posts: 28699 - Karma: -5,563
ahahahahahaha. heres one, happend to my friend, hes funny as hell.

him-'will you go out with me?'
her-'fuck you'

proceeds to make her feel guilty in front of everyone at lunch by saying she wouldnt because hes fat.




If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
May 30 2004 6:06PM
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Freestylindude
Posts: 1141 - Karma: 10
in BC some nasty chick came up to Zach Visco and said:
'can I ride your board?'
Visco said 'i doonn'tt knooow, III doooonnn'tt knooooooow.'
and ran off.
i think it's only funny if you know who visco is.
Is Wayne Brady gonna hafta choke a bitch?
May 30 2004 7:00PM
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Jasmine
Posts: 1489 - Karma: 10
aww i used to do the lesbian one with guys. i feel guilty now...




''Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.''
P. J. O'Rourke
May 30 2004 7:03PM
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CORKED
Posts: 320 - Karma: 16
My friend actually said this once, I don't know how it came about but this was the punchline so to speak:

him: my fly is down, can you help me with that?
her: thats not a very good pickup line
him: the only thing i need to pick up tonight is my beer bitch.


------------------------------------------------------------
E.T. is the can-do alien, and don't you forget it
May 30 2004 10:25PM
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Public_Maverick
Posts: 3255 - Karma: 11
I: nice shoes, wanna fuck
her: actually yes
I: umm, i kinda gotta go

true story^

This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass
http://www.angrynakedpat.com/andymilonakis.com/crispypart2.wmv
May 30 2004 10:46PM
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hoodratz47
Posts: 12020 - Karma: 9,475
girll '; i really want to go out on another date....
me... waht sorry i was just thinking about fucking your sister..........


/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/''Ultimately, almost all guys learn this truth for themselves: The best way to never score with a woman is to show too much interest in her.'
May 30 2004 10:50PM
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Breheny
Posts: 1262 - Karma: 436
Guy: Do you wanna go out with me?
Gril: No
Guy: FUCK YOU YA DUMB SLUT!


-Nick

I have a problem solver, his name is revolver

Everything i say is a lie......except that.....and that

'He was probably beating it to some sexy orangatang tittes in a national geographic' - Lateralis
May 30 2004 10:59PM
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hoodratz47
Posts: 12020 - Karma: 9,475
public man you lil pussy.



/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/''Ultimately, almost all guys learn this truth for themselves: The best way to never score with a woman is to show too much interest in her.'
May 30 2004 11:07PM
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Public_Maverick
Posts: 3255 - Karma: 11
haha, yea i know, i suck, she was pretty hott too
i really had to go though,

This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass
http://www.angrynakedpat.com/andymilonakis.com/crispypart2.wmv
May 30 2004 11:09PM
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CORKED
Posts: 320 - Karma: 16
wtf, she was pretty hot, and wanted to have sex with you, but you had to go, and.... what? save the fucking world?



------------------------------------------------------------
E.T. is the can-do alien, and don't you forget it
May 30 2004 11:14PM
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skierdudeguy
Posts: 6574 - Karma: 81
fuck thats not worth it

I'm not to sure but i did score in the jenious area- loafrider, on IQ tests
May 30 2004 11:24PM
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Roy
Posts: 1982 - Karma: 1,240
my buddy who was a huge player would always do this if he got busted cheatin and the broad tried to make a public scene... the gurl would usually try to get him into a big argument in front of everyone and if she didnt shut up merse would be like as loud as he can, 'fuck you you fuckin bitch i cant beleive you fucking cheated on me' and then storm away b4 she can say anything...this would both embarrass the shit outta the gurl and any other broad in the area that heard that would be easy prey for my buddy cuz they would feel all sorry for him that he got cheated on and would wanna make him feel better LOL

Merse you sexy potatoe you better be doing some thing fucking crazy up there, see yea soon br-ah

Too many Rookies not enough PROS !!!

807 Army 4life
May 31 2004 2:43AM
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Breheny
Posts: 1262 - Karma: 436
^genious


-Nick

I have a problem solver, his name is revolver

Everything i say is a lie......except that.....and that

'He was probably beating it to some sexy orangatang tittes in a national geographic' - Lateralis
May 31 2004 6:26AM
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skiierman
Posts: 28699 - Karma: -5,563
^ yes, pure playa genious.



If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
May 31 2004 8:31AM
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midwest_rep2
Posts: 1096 - Karma: 10

Me: 'Did you want to dance/go out for coffee/ have sex?'
Her 'Oooohh, that's cute but no, not interested.'
Me: 'Oohh OK...well that's ok, I'll just go drive my car over a cliff since you don't love me'
Her: 'OK OK, lets go to the back closet and get it over with'
`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`-=`


'haha he told his parents ahbout his ginormous cock.... what a fag' - linemaverick540
May 31 2004 12:19PM
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SUpilot
Posts: 5267 - Karma: 15
the first one was the best so far...

JD...all this time i thought you were goth.
May 31 2004 12:54PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,142
^Good God no. Never. Closest I've come would be wearing black shirts... some of those people are truly screwed up.

------------
In a haze
A stormy haze
I’ll be around
I’ll be loving you
Always
Always

Here I am
And I’ll take my time
Here I am
And I’ll wait in line
Always
Always...
May 31 2004 2:13PM
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Itsbackfliptime
Posts: 18901 - Karma: 75
me: would you like to dance?
her: no
me: ok.


Mac 'n' Steeze Trailer
May 31 2004 2:35PM
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Irotate360
Posts: 6836 - Karma: 22
bump




XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

yah my friend didn\'t die, he just didn\'t move for like 10 minutes, I laughed.....
-Switchin_Dirty
May 31 2004 7:02PM
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shasta
Posts: 333 - Karma: 10
me: wanna dance?
her: i'm sorry, i've got a boyfriend
me: my dick is gigantic.......

here is a slogan of a japanese snack company (concerning a certain type of potatoe chip):
baked freshly so in large oil, that we can together eat happily this delicious food product
May 31 2004 7:28PM
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Crystal-needs-a-park
Posts: 9939 - Karma: 15
random hot girl comes and starts trying to dance with me... talks about skiing... gives me weird look, gives me the finger, leaves. then repeats. i stand there confused. she gives me the finger and leaves. then comes back, i call her a bitch and peace the fuck out.
___________________
Silly Rabbits. Pink is for cheese! –stevexs2
i love watching people get nutted. i hate seeing naked fat people getting the box munched - BallinBU
numbers are for jewish investment bankers - sleezemcfly
Basically, you have to fly planes into buildings before anyone listens to you these days. - Jib_This
May 31 2004 8:43PM
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Baker
Posts: 1615 - Karma: 18
^was anyone else confused by that?



__________________________________________________
- Josh Rainey
- Jackson Hole

I ain't the type of brotha made for you to start tessin', give me a smith and wesson and i'll have niggas undressin' -nas


'maybe we should stick to anal sex and fighting preggos heh?'-ellerman
May 31 2004 9:30PM
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ztragnoB
Posts: 1704 - Karma: 27
^^i was. WAs she just fucking with you or what?


_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
vive la Thurgood, Scarface, Brian and Kenny
May 31 2004 9:37PM
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Crystal-needs-a-park
Posts: 9939 - Karma: 15
i dont know, i dont get it either... as far as i know she was just a stupid drunk bitch... she kept coming back... then giving me the finger and leaving... and coming back. so i was like fuck her.
___________________
Silly Rabbits. Pink is for cheese! –stevexs2
i love watching people get nutted. i hate seeing naked fat people getting the box munched - BallinBU
numbers are for jewish investment bankers - sleezemcfly
Basically, you have to fly planes into buildings before anyone listens to you these days. - Jib_This
May 31 2004 9:40PM
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