"Good afternoon to you all, and welcome to TV Shop! I am your brost (bro-host) Norris and have I got an offer for you!
Has you life diminished in broness lately?
Are you suffering from flashbacks from being so bro?
No worries, help is but a phone call away....and $99,99.
Introducing the Bro-Five!
Situation or The Situation, your inflatable bro-buddy will beckon your call for a fist bump, be it rain, sleet or shine! To utilize Bro-Five, just make a fist with your hand and imagine a very bro-like scenario, such as shotgunning beer through a Lacoste shirt and the bro-buddy will almost magically appear to supply just the right amount of broness to your evenings desires.
/or something along those lines. Not trying to make fun of you, just going a roll.