NS, need your input

Hey guys, I wrote this for a creative writing class I'm taking and I'd need some input on it. My teacher just kinda checks if its done, but I want to submit this to a local magazine.

The crisp scent of rain and cold weather is beginning to permeate the air.
The nights grow longer and darker, the moon shines brighter.
The clouds blow in, laden with rain and snow, destined for Tahoe, to bring joy to our faces when the first snows begin to fall.
The stores begin to prepare for the furious shopping in preparation for the festivities to come.
People roam the streets, with wonder in their eyes and in their lungs as they traverse the cold city blocks, breathing in the crisp air of a cold winter night.
The aroma of fresh hot cocoa, so sweet and enticing, bring smiles to all; both young and old.
And as lady Winter makes her yearly debut in a with a cacophony of coyote howls, and a chorus of howling winter winds;
 And we watch in awe, as the warm summer and chaotic autumn pass us by and leave us with the ceaseless tranquility of Winter.