The best of Craigslist

decent
i like the ones on dontevenreply.com

http://dontevenreply.com/

The dontevenreply is hilarious

haha the subway one was pretty good

"My job already sucks as it is, and you probably make double what I do. Have some compassion. Oh! And how come you will tip a barista who makes your coffee and not tip the person that makes your food? I smile. I'm polite. I give you everything you want on your sandwich. And you give me nothing. "

pretty good, ive seen some pretty insane ones

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/

holy fuck i forgot how wierd craigslist personal ads are. shits fucked up.

haha yeah, these are just some I found on my own... and this is just the Rant section. the personals are whack

ye the first personal ad there is for some chick looking for guys to join in on a bukakke? like what the FUCK! i guess thats how you get taht shit done but jesus.

My personal favorites from years of reading the "best of"

Office survival poop guide:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/171960631.html

Lawn Ornament:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/prv/632786911.html

Pizza Delivery Rant
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/547971823.html


Enjoy.

AMAZING



My Porn Watching Pig Boyfriend


So you like watching these porn-sluts get pounded and creamed? OK, I get it, I kind of like some of that too. It's rather entertaining, if not slightly disturbing/fascinating to WATCH.

But now you're getting all fucked up with me, and although I keep taking it from you, you're probably on the way out, and I'm trying to think of ways to get you back. Because, at the end of the day, the "new" hardcore is rather degrading, and there are too many limits being pushed. Here are a few of mine that keep getting tested:

1) If you don't stop slapping my tits and pinching my nipples that way, you won't ever see them again. I hope you like my parka, cause it's going to become my new lingerie.

2) Don't ever spit on my face again, I think I made that clear, sorry about the sore balls.

3) I used to feel proud that I could swallow, now I feel pretty gross after you dick whip me and make me eat it off your cock and fingers like it's punishment. I would do all that for you anyway, but when you hold my hair and call me names and make me, there's that line I was talking about.

4) Pussy to mouth is kind of freaky, I'm totally ok with that. Ass to mouth is something else altogether, stop even joking about it. If you should ever decide to "forge ahead" with that one and see how it goes, I'll bite your fucking dick off, I swear I will. If I don't manage that in the moment, I'll get you in your sleep.

Thanks for listening sweetheart. By the way how did your coffee taste this morning?

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/van/1625829503.html

Oh and sorry for no clicky. The toolbar buttons don't seem to work for my browser.

+K for clicky?

I know it's long but is so worth it.

Lulz

i love your posts sam

that was good

These are fucking gold. The crackpipe one and the husband one. Damn

god damn that is funny

this thread is officially useless.  unless there are good responses that i have not read

http://saltlakecity.craigslist.org/wan/2625920744.html

the fuck?

It seems pretty simple, I think this guy wants to buy some stuff.

threads

lol virgin by choice

lul


Original ad:
Wanted - CHILDRENS DVDS
Movies wanted for children aged 5 and up - will take all unwanted DVDs!
From Me to *********@**********.org:

Hey there!

I'm trying to get rid of a bunch of movies I've had since I was a kid. The movie stores won't take them, and it would be a shame for me to just throw them out. I'd love to pass them on to people who can enjoy them. Let me know if you are interested.

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

Mike - Which movies do you have and how much do you want for them?

From Me to Julia ******:

Julia,

Here is the full list:

Alvin and the Chipmunks
Alladin
Backdoor Creampies 2
Beauty and the Beast
Big Black Threesome
Fantasia
Finally 18 and Legal
The Lion King
Mattress Slaves 3
The Mighty Ducks
Toy Story
Wet Squirters 5

Please let me know which ones you want.

Thanks,

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

Mike...some of those titles are inappropriate.

From Me to Julia ******:

Julia,

Which titles are inappropriate?

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

I think you know which ones...

From Me to Julia ******:

Are you talking about Fantasia? I know, I thought it was a Vietnam war movie too. I assure you it has nothing to do with Asia and is completely appropriate for children. The only other title I think you are referring to as inappropriate is The Lion King, but I think you are confusing that with "The Scorpion King," the violent movie starring Dwayne Johnson. While the Lion King does have adult themes, it is nothing like The Scorpion King.

I hope this clears things up.

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

No...explain to me how these movies are for children??? Backdoor Creampies, Big Black Threesome, Finally 18 and Legal, Mattress Slaves 3, Wet Squirters 5. It sounds to me like you are trying to throw out your porn collection.

From Me to Julia ******:

Pornography? What a disgusting accusation! What kind of a person do you think I am? You have a really perverted mind if you think those movies are adult films.

You've really never heard of those movies? Where was your childhood? I'll find the plot summaries for you.

Backdoor Creampies - Cindy, a little girl with big ambitions, decides to open a bakery in her parents kitchen - selling pies to children who come to her backyard. Cindy learns that running a business isn't all fun and games in this hilarious tale of entrepreneurship.

Big Black Threesome - Barry, Billy and Bernie are three lovable black bears who have zany adventures during their quest for honey.

Finally 18 and Legal - A coming of age story about a young girl who becomes an independent woman.

Mattress Slaves 3 - Part 3 of the shocking documentary about slave labor in the mattress industry of third world countries. (Acceptable for kids, and in my opinion, a necessity to educate them on some real world issues. I never bought a foreign mattress again after this eye-opener.)

Wet Squirters 5 - The Squirters gang is back again in this heartwarming tale about a group of whales who try to find their long lost father in a vast ocean of wet sea critters.

Once again, I hope this clears things up for you.

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

You expect me to believe that all of those movies simply have unfortunate titles? Nice try.

From Me to Julia ******:

Sorry to disappoint your sick mind Julia, but yes, they are all children's movies. So do you want them or not?

By the way, I just found 3 more movies to add to the collection I am offering:

Toy Story 2
James and the Giant Peach
Walt Disney's Double Penetration Cockblasts 3

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

Okay I've had enough of this. You are a nut.

From Me to Julia ******:

Think of the children, Julia. They will never get to enjoy these classic films because of you.

From Julia ****** to Me:

Go to hell.

^bahahahahhahaha i lost multiple times.