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October, 2024

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So i got an email today from a college in alaska....

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thisandthatfilms
Posts: 7714 - Karma: 526
Hey, Whatsup man?

I currently attend the Alaska Bible College, and i'd like to tell you a little about it cause its pretty awesome. I currently have 37 classmates, 38 including me, and we all get along really well. We have just one dorm and everyone gets their own room! THEY EVEN INSTALLED BARS ON THE WINDOWS FOR EXTRA PRIVACY!!!!

The college used to be a mental institution so we have access to the latest state of the art things? Say you're into rape fantasy sex? WE GOT IT! You can find countless straight jackets litterally lying in the janitors closets. You're a fan of ice-fishing too? YOU'RE PRACTICALLY BORN TO GO TO THIS SCHOOL. It is our most popular club, although we only have two. After classes every day we all go out for a mandatory ice-fishing house building class and build one from the ground up, then spend the next EIGHT HOURS in it praying for a bite on our fishing rods. EIGHT HOURS! I know what you're thinking, THIS PLACE IS LIKE HEAVEN!

The best part about this school is there are NO FEMALES. Yes you heard me, NO FEMALES! Every male at the university swears an oath of chastity and this added concept makes it that much easier to retain our virgin souls!

Alcohol, drugs, PARTIES? NO!!!!! Who needs them, when you have group sessions around the campfire reciting bible passages and making smores! (Don't worry though, we don't use graham crackers we use hosts from the church - i know you may have been wondering the answer to that question)

I really hope you consider this fine university, if you wan't i can even give you a tour or you can stay with me for a night! But theres a few things you cannot bring so i thought i'd lay them out right now...

- No alcohol
- NO females
- No Drugs
- No electronics, (we like to live an amish-lifestyle)
- We will provide you with our normal clothes, so don't bother packing any
- No shoes, (Sandals are only allowed despite the cold)
- Lastly, bring a musical instrument of some kind so you can participate in our nightly sing-a-longs

This university is really great! Take it into consideration! Although you aren't allowed to leave campus for the four years you are here, (they fear people who leave are leaving to start a cult of some sort), we all find it a great community and all get along really well!

I hope i was able to aid you in your college search!







uhh












Oct 14 2010 8:12PM
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HowNeatIsThat
Posts: 1191 - Karma: 112
:)
Oct 14 2010 8:13PM
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Nooschoolers
Posts: 577 - Karma: 32
BS
Oct 14 2010 8:13PM
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dwhite
Posts: 1499 - Karma: 32
You just got trolled.
Oct 14 2010 8:14PM
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geet
Posts: 2436 - Karma: 6
HE WROTE IT! HE WROTE IT!
Oct 14 2010 8:14PM
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HowNeatIsThat
Posts: 1191 - Karma: 112
oh u WeHa kids make me lol
Oct 14 2010 8:15PM
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SeanTom
Posts: 7936 - Karma: 1,747
haha, i lold
Oct 14 2010 8:16PM
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J-Evs
Posts: 6387 - Karma: 1,615
fairly funny, yet predictable read
Oct 14 2010 8:16PM
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TheHamburglar
Posts: 3895 - Karma: 3,315
"It is our most popular club, although we only have two"

hahaha well done
Oct 14 2010 8:16PM
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MAPLE_SYRUP
Posts: 1910 - Karma: 68
sign me up, Burlington sucks






Oct 14 2010 8:17PM
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JStrathern
Posts: 8747 - Karma: 1,536
sounds legit
Oct 14 2010 8:17PM
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thisandthatfilms
Posts: 7714 - Karma: 526
check your meteer
Oct 14 2010 8:17PM
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J-Evs
Posts: 6387 - Karma: 1,615
check yours
Oct 14 2010 8:19PM
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thisandthatfilms
Posts: 7714 - Karma: 526
i mean unless he really hates burlington
Oct 14 2010 8:20PM
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Ducky.
Posts: 5811 - Karma: 1,420
Just stop talking and check your meter
Oct 14 2010 8:22PM
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thisandthatfilms
Posts: 7714 - Karma: 526
what? no i will not. and im not talking im typing
Oct 14 2010 8:24PM
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HowNeatIsThat
Posts: 1191 - Karma: 112
he's tryin to sound like j-thompson clearly
Oct 14 2010 8:30PM
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JacheOReally
Posts: 3597 - Karma: 253
I looked up alaskan bible college, your statements are false
Oct 14 2010 8:37PM
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HowNeatIsThat
Posts: 1191 - Karma: 112
so is everything else in nsg
Oct 14 2010 8:38PM
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MAPLE_SYRUP
Posts: 1910 - Karma: 68
Click for larger image
Oct 14 2010 9:19PM
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cheddafries
Posts: 1016 - Karma: 52
BUT THERE ARE NO FEMALES??? MIND=BLOWN
Oct 14 2010 9:29PM
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noname..
Posts: 449 - Karma: 91

http://www.deepsprings.edu/home
Oct 14 2010 10:27PM
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thisandthatfilms
Posts: 7714 - Karma: 526
fail
Oct 14 2010 11:38PM
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bluedevil493
Posts: 233 - Karma: 27
sounds like a great time to me. how do i apply?

ps: there arent no essays to write for the app are there?
Oct 14 2010 11:41PM
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HowNeatIsThat
Posts: 1191 - Karma: 112
Are you kidding me? All you need is to say your ABCs and give a quick recap on where Jesus was born and raised and you're in. In fact, you're practically MORE than in - if you do this to par you get a meeting with the president of the school AND the dean of students, both of them alumns of the school and are proud to state the exact amount of days that they haven't left that campus to ANYONE that asks. I would have lost count after 40 years, apparently they did not.
Oct 14 2010 11:45PM
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bluedevil493
Posts: 233 - Karma: 27
fuck yes im going to college!
Oct 15 2010 1:26AM
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bluedevil493
Posts: 233 - Karma: 27
mama mama imma go geet an edumacation
Oct 15 2010 1:27AM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13084 - Karma: 18,731
 I was sure there were no schools in alaska...
Oct 15 2010 1:36AM
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Evilchris
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 44
if it includes unlimited heliskiing, im down
Oct 15 2010 8:06AM
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thisandthatfilms
Posts: 7714 - Karma: 526
youve got a point
Oct 15 2010 8:47AM
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BVT802
Posts: 443 - Karma: 18

Well since they have bars on the windows I'll feel secure....and no electronics so I can't be cyber bullied for bringing a triangle and cowbell to play during the sing-a-longs. Can you send me the application??

Oct 15 2010 8:58AM
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thisandthatfilms
Posts: 7714 - Karma: 526
i think theyre on common app
Oct 15 2010 9:02AM
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Larz-the-Ninja
Posts: 2976 - Karma: 14
well it sounds like you are very paranoid, and you sir, have been trolled.
Oct 15 2010 9:25AM
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thisandthatfilms
Posts: 7714 - Karma: 526
no i know its a joke
Oct 15 2010 9:33AM
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noname..
Posts: 449 - Karma: 91
oh well.  deep springs college.  look it up.
Oct 19 2010 5:47PM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
the other is " rape fantasy sex"
Oct 19 2010 5:54PM
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[tk]
Posts: 3863 - Karma: 1,906
sexual fantasies. yet no women, and everyone's a virgin????
Oct 19 2010 5:58PM
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MADDECENT
Posts: 5579 - Karma: 951
hahahahahhahaha
Nov 1 2010 9:38PM
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