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Do you sit or stand to wipe??
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During a drunken conversation which rather impressively ended up at how you wiped your ass. It came to our attention that there is more than one way to do it. Shocking as this may be theres about a 50-50 split with people either standing or just leaning forward. (when i say standing i dont mean standing straight but hovering about 6 - 8 inches above the bowl)
I now bring it to the people of NS to decide the real numbers of those who sit or stand.
Personally i stand.
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i sit. there is also another 50-50 split that i've come across in my drunken conversations. fold or scrunch? do you fold your paper or scrunch it to wipe? i fold personally...
here is a slogan of a japanese snack company (concerning a certain type of potatoe chip):
baked freshly so in large oil, that we can together eat happily this delicious food product
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fold twice, so 3 layered and then fold again once i wipe to make more efficient use of the paper. ANd I wipe standing, I tried sitting after a th read a while back but I just couldnt. Too unnatural.
-Michael Lifshitz-
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wtf mike
Brody
i wont drop out of high school for skiing, mom
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how the fuck can you wipe sitting down??
'Did you know that average penis size is 6.4inches and that the average vaginal canal is 7.9inches? Therefore.... in this country alone, there is over 17,000 miles of unused virgin pussy' - Poolhall Junkies
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The most fucked thread ever. Man how the hell do you end up talking about wiping your ass for crying out loud. Damn.
Motherfuckers...
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wasnt this discussed like 2 years ago and then it evolved into the best tp to use too??
-Craig
the challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else
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leaning to the side is what the cool kids do
Girl, you know its true.
'yup you're right' - strode420
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i don't stand, but i don't sit either. it's like a hybrid stance made specifically for wiping.
Joel
'Go shut yourself in a freezer and see if you can evolve out of it.' -PhattTim
'i think its funny that they decriminilized both homosexual sex and animal sex at the same time... what kinda message does that send?' -Apple
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yeah, this was discussed and the general agreement was that the lean was the best way to go
********************
-Brad, Representing the KPP
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yeah i remember that discussion, but i still dont know how people can do it standing up
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HIGH NORTH SESSION 4
The Hot Sauce Champion of the World
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i use to stand but then i got lazy sitting is the way to go
'Bagger my ass, its probley just Mill House'
- Homer Simpson
'Is it makeing love when 5 migets spank a man covered in Thosand Island dressing'
-Tolken
Reporting for Duty with a Spork in one hand and a Porno in the other
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I didn't know people stood while wiping, in a portapottie I can understand, but who craps in those anyway.
***Hire a teenager while they still know everything.***
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you have to lean to one side + wipe. charmin rocks. its wonderfully soft.
what do you call cheese that isn't yours?
life is too short so love the one you got cause you might get run over or you might get shot - sublime
save lives. ride line.
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stand. there's no other way to me.
Just give me a scene where the music is free and the beer is not the life of the party.
-against me!
camp of champs session C
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stand...its def all about standing
theres something you may not know about me...i smoke rocks
5158
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i hover above the lid, scrunch my charmin, and go for the kill
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sit
_________________________________
line skis- because skiing needs a future
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i dont see how you would stand without squeezing your butt cheeks together and getting shit all over yourself. Sitting is the best way to do it for sure.
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stand fold wipte
its all about the 609
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yes brody?
-Michael Lifshitz-
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how can you wipe standing up? .. you would have to bend over or spread your legs or something anyways to properly get in there.. sitting is most efficient
Smoking pot leads to uhh... I forget.
50 nuts in your mothafuckin' mouth
What's with all the hate?
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Ha i must of missed that previous thread.
We didnt talk about folding or scrunching.
I always fold, 3 times.
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yea, there was a thread about this last summer, i remember it being called 'a good question'.......i was thinking about it the other day
_______________
Harrison
SSK PRODUCTIONS COMING AGAIN THIS WINTER
if you study high, take the test high
-etom
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sit and scrunch.
I dont want a large Farva!
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yeah for real standing up? how the fuck do you do it?
-chris
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yeah, im not that coordinated. i also have tetris in my pee room so im in there for like 20 minutes every time anyway, so i like to sit and relax. lmao, ewe
I dont want a large Farva!
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i make sure theres at least 7 layers of charmin between my asshole, and my hand, because poop, or the shit thats in it (punny eh?) can travel through up to 7 layers. so then i lean a bit, and wipe, sometimes if theres any reasonable doubt, i check the tp to see if i got it all.
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The Official-royal nose-picking, wannabea highschool dropout, Gary Coleman-loving, Arnold-hating, college chick-dating, Montana boonies guy
Member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.
Only Westcoaster in the Eastcoast Cult
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i use my bidet liek the frech people i use warm water to gentely bath my asshole in lukewarm water.. then i towel off with my ass rags...
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thank you locus!
laugh while u can, because while u and i are on this forum there is some fat sweaty little bastard putting on his rear entry boots right now, out there skiing, and he's guning for us
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i dont stand up to whipe, its more of a squat. and you gotta scrunch.. there is more surface area and it leaves you cleaner in the end. Plus the wad is bigger so you never get shit on your hands.
-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
--->CCR*
'Oooohhhhhhhh, 'straight edge', that sounds so hardcore, I guess it's just better than saying 'I'm a sanctimonious pussy who thinks he's better than everyone else.'' -Gdawg3
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Im scared to do it sitting down. What happens is your hand lands in the shit. I don;t take that risk
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A healthy lean can prevent that.
better to burn out...
...then fade away
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but dont let your lean turn to a stand, or it squishes the poop all over your crack
_______________________________________________________
The Official-royal nose-picking, wannabea highschool dropout, Gary Coleman-loving, Arnold-hating, college chick-dating, Montana boonies guy
Member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.
Only Westcoaster in the Eastcoast Cult
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my grandpa was a stander...same wit my dad...as you can see, standing while wiping is in my genes.
go with the stand/spread/wipe procedure. never fails
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Playboy: $7.95 Hustler: $6.95
Maxim: $6.95
Getting it all for free on the internet: PRICELESS
Add me to your MSN if you wanna talk skiing. I'm mcstooge@hotmail.com
What a crappy excuse for a signature...
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fold bend over shwipe
-Ira
Member No. 8857
Viva La Rèsistance
i think the hustle dance is pretty sick - DENALI44
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its all about the ass lean and wipe, or get some farets paper bag and some pain killer.
'Bagger my ass, its probley just Mill House'
- Homer Simpson
'Is it makeing love when 5 migets spank a man covered in Thosand Island dressing'
-Tolken
Reporting for Duty with a Spork in one hand and a Porno in the other
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real men dont use tp
Is Wayne Brady gonna hafta choke a bitch?
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sit and lean, fold. i never even thought about standing, a whole new world has been opened up to me.
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Chappelle's Show Cult...BITCHES
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im more of a squatter when i wipe my ass, and i fold enough times so that i'm sure my finger doesnt poke through and get poo on it.
Anti-Flag
-Whats so fucking wrong, and whats so anti-establishment about the idea of peace? Why is wanting to know the truth so anti establishment?
These aren't anti-establishment ideas, these are Pro fucking peace ideas-
all girls should swallow and enjoy anal sex - Lateralis
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i have a new toilet that does everything for me. i can just sit there. muahahaha.
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^Wow, does it thank you for depositing your waste in it as well, casue that would be awesome. Fold, Stand, all these deployments have forced me to shit in the port-a-shitter, so, adapt and overcome right?
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well... i lied i just yell for my mom and she wipes me.
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how the fuck can you wipe sitting down??
Lateralis...
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i think this thread is a lot funnier than the last one about the same thing
oh.....and sitting down
-Strode
Abba Zabba, you my only friend
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holy shit ive never really thought about standing or folding, i just lean to the side/forward, scrunch the tp and wipe
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Aussie represent
I have a problem solver, his name is revolver
'winterparksux- most likely to die buy a shot in the head from a 22 gauge shot gun on 5/23/04 at approx 4:51 pm(EST)...........I no where u sleep' - Irotate360
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How can you wipe sitting down???? Wiping is over rated.
Farp for Life.
'Id like to please ask our contestants to refrain from using ethnic slurrs, ok so on with the show, here we have Mr. Connery wi...'
'You think your so smart Alex Trebek with your Greasy hair and your Dego mustache.'
'what did i just say about ethnic slurrs!?'
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you have to be carefull when you stand up sometimes if you have poo hanging on sometimes it falls on the floor
Time to go to work, work all night, search for underpants hey! We won't stop till we have underpants, yum-tum yummy-tum-tay!
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That would be fucking sick....
Farp for Life.
'Id like to please ask our contestants to refrain from using ethnic slurrs, ok so on with the show, here we have Mr. Connery wi...'
'You think your so smart Alex Trebek with your Greasy hair and your Dego mustache.'
'what did i just say about ethnic slurrs!?'
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i use the whole roll standing
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to make sure no poop clings on I spred my cheeks as far as they go so there is no resitance for the poo so it is a nice clean exit
Time to go to work, work all night, search for underpants hey! We won't stop till we have underpants, yum-tum yummy-tum-tay!
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